"This wasn't it?"
"If you two are finished with family hour there's a little matter I would like to discuss, like how the fuck my wife ends up being the daughter of one of the most notorious mob bosses to grace our great nation?"
"You got married without us?" Uncle Al looked hurt.
"No uncle, Shane here prides himself on being a forward thinker; he thinks he only has to say something to make it so."
"So you're not marrying him?"
"Yes the fuck she is, or I don't care who her father used to be, I will fuck everybody's shit up, now one of you start talking, preferably you Mouth, did you play me?"
"What, of course not, why the hell would I do that?"
"I don't know, why didn't you tell me who you are?"
"What's it to ya?"
"Mouth, swear to God."
"Look, I don't have anything to do with that cops and robbers game you grown men like to play, I came here to get away from all that; I found some notes in day's office about this place and thought it was as good a place as any." I kept my fingers crossed where they couldn't see; lying is such a shit fuck thing to do. Damn I'm starting to sound like Shane.
"So how did you find me Uncle Al?"
"It wasn't easy let me tell you, I wasn't expecting to find you hooked up with the local head, seeing as how you're so averse to the family business and all." He had that gleam in his eye. He's been trying my whole life to turn me into a boy.
"Don't even think about it, I'm not taking over that mess....."
"What the fuck Mouth, you're the heir to the Chicago Cartel?"
"Nope....."
"Speaking of which Ari Mia, about that surprise......"
"Hello baby girl."
I spun around so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. No it couldn't be.
"Dad?"
"In the flesh baby girl." He opened his arms for a hug, big sappy grin on his face.
"Shane give me your gun."
"Now Arianna calm down, you don't want to shoot your old man again do you?"
"Again?" Poor Shane was trying to keep up.
"When I was three he left his gun on the table, I mistakenly shot him....... in the ass."
The jerk started howling with laughter.
"Whatever, dad, what the hell?"
"Sorry." He gave me a sheepish look.
"Sorry, sorry, you let me think you were dead all this time...?"
"It wasn't that long bambina, besides I couldn't tell you what was going on, it had to look legit, if you knew I was alive then you wouldn't have grieved the right way and our enemies would've known something was up. By the way that was a nice turn out I had, you did me proud ......"
"You were there?" I was back to trying to find a gun, this was too much even for him.
"That fuck Louis lump lump wasn't there though, friend my ass."
"Dad you called him Louis lump lump his whole life even when you were kids, why would he come to your funeral?"
"To show his respect fat fuck, I got something for him though."
"You leave Uncle Louis alone; he wasn't there because he was doing something for me."
"What, computer shit, cause that's all that fat fuck is any good for."
"Yes, he was gathering information so I could find out who put the hit out on you."
"Which led you here, which is only one more reason why I should put a hole in his fat ass."
"Boy you Rossis sure like shooting people in the ass."
I gave Shane the bitch brow to no avail; let him laugh now, in about five minutes he was going to be back to being pissed.
"Anyway, since no one killed you my work here is done."
"You know little girl, for someone who always swore she didn't want anything to do with family business you sure do think like a boss."
"Stow it dad, I was just going to do this one job."
"My girl was going to avenge her old man, see Alphonso, I told you she was just like her dad."
"As I recall you bitched at me for turning your daughter into my nephew, now you wanna reap the benefits. I think she's got a little bit of both if us. Pure gangster."
"You wish, now what the hell is going on?"
"First, what the hell is going on with you and Flanagan, you ride me your whole life about my doings only to end up with my double?"
Chapter 4
Prince of the City
I'm trying to take all this shit in, I had a mafia princess in my jurisdiction for a while and had no idea, how the fuck did she slip by my guys, she wasn't even using an alias, not that anyone knew too much about Rossi's only offspring, she was one of the mob's best kept secrets.
"Swear to me that you didn't play me Mouth."
I could forgive anything but the thought that she might've played me wasn't one of them, I'd let her into my circle, introduced her to ma; fuck, ma.