"I'm thinking very seriously about doing your ass in, why?"
I just gave her a look because for all I know crazy lady could be serious.
"Where'd you learn to use a bow and arrow anyway?"
"It's my weapon of choice, years of archery classes baby."
"I thought shooting people in the ass was your forte?"
"Nah, that's just a warm up, speaking of which, how's Jimmy?"
Fuck dinner Sunday, Mouth, James, Poppy and the two old mobsters, fuck my life.
"Since you're not making me breakfast lets go back to bed."
Crazy lady stared me down, I waited her out.
"I'd straight up Bobbit you."
Okay even I knew who that was, she bit into her apple and grinned at me, amazing, from tears to a face punch to threats, this was the woman I wanted to spend my life with. I needed my head examined.
"What're you doing today?"
"I'm going shopping with your mom and sisters."
"Fine I'll get the car ready for you when you're ready."
"I can drive myself thank you very much."
"No, you can't...and don't bother arguing because it's either that or you stay home."
She threw her half eaten apple at me.
I barely caught it before it connected with my face. I gave some serious thought to lobbing it back at her but figured she'd probably gut me, crazy fuck.
"What's it gonna be?"
"Listen you ancient relic, between the four of us we can pretty much find our way around a gear shift, we don't need nor do we want a babysitter."
I ignored her and went to get some eggs to make breakfast for both of us; she'd turned me into a fucking sap.
La Principessa
He's so adorably cute when he's flustered, I like keeping him on his toes, no matter how cute he was I'm still gonna get him back for the stunt he pulled in the car last night and for the spanking. I figure I had the spanking coming, he's a pigheaded son of a bitch after all, but that stunt was over the top, no way I could let him get away with that.
Like Pia said, I had to train him early. There'd be hell to pay if he ever found out that his mom and sisters and even his brothers in law were giving me pointers on how to handle him.
I'd got him good with that endearment thing, he hated feeling like he wasn't taking care of me or doing everything he was supposed to, I could so use that in my favor. He thinks he's the big bad mafia don, but I’ll soon show him who's boss.
Life was sure going to be interesting around here, especially when he found out I was going to Chicago for a while.
I couldn't wait to have that conversation, oh joy.
The End