Lace and Bullets(37)
He sat down on the edge of the chair. “Have you ever had maple syrup, you know, the good stuff?”
Mia tucked a pillow beneath her and gave him a funny smile. “Of course. What else do you put on pancakes?”
“I was nineteen the first time I tried it.” Damien tried to swallow, but his mouth turned to sandpaper and his tongue to wood. “Marcelo had given me a job.”
She hugged the pillow tighter to her chest. He hated doing this to her.
“You mean a hit?”
“First one. Guy had been a pimp for a while, then a trafficker. Sadistic son of a bitch, if you ask me. The things he’d do to those girls…” Damien ran a hand over his hair. “Marcelo thought the guy was too cocky. Said the crew needed to be taught a lesson.”
“So you roughed him up?”
“I shot him in the head.”
Mia’s face slipped into a frown. “Why are you telling me this?”
Because you need to hear it. “After the job was done, I met Marcelo at this fancy restaurant.” Damien exhaled. He’d never told anyone the rest of it before. Not even Detective Johnson. But Mia deserved to know. She needed to know the truth about him.
He met her brown eyes, now wary as they looked at him. “I’d never been somewhere with white tablecloths before. All Melanie and I ever managed was a fast food joint or a dive bar.”
“Marcelo asked me to sit down, so I sat. He ordered me pancakes and when they arrived, he watched as I took a bite. The maple syrup lit up my tongue like sugar fireworks. I’ll never forget the taste of those pancakes.”
“Why?”
“Because the taste was still in my mouth when he told me my sister was dead.”
Mia’s mouth fell open and she scooted up to sit on the edge of the bed. “Why would he do such a thing?”
“If I hadn’t taken the job, Melanie wouldn’t have died. She overdosed while I was staking the guy out.”
“So Marcelo told you to what? Make you hate him?”
Damien shook his head. “You just don’t get it, do you? He told me so he’d own me. Melanie was all I had. She was the only thing in my life worth a damn. All those years when it was just the two of us…She kept me alive. She sacrificed herself over and over so I could eat.”
He pushed out of the chair and flexed his hands. “She let them…” God, it still made him sick. “She sold her soul for her little brother and I couldn’t even protect her when it mattered.”
The rage that always bubbled to the surface when he thought about Melanie coursed through his veins. If only he could punch something. Someone.
“It’s not your fault she died, Damien.”
He spun around. “Of course it is. All of it was my fault. If she hadn’t had a little brother to take care of, she wouldn’t have gone to Marcelo in the first place.” He gripped the back of the chair. All of the anger he bottled up inside threatened to spill over.
“You were young. He took advantage.”
“I was old enough.” The chair shook in his hands. “After Melanie…I died inside. Whatever the job, I did it. Whatever the risk, I took it. There’s so much blood on my hands, Mia, they’ll never come clean.”
He let the wood go and the chair rocked back and forth on its legs. Damien turned away so he didn’t see her face.
“That’s not who you are; that’s the man Marcelo made.”
He heard the bed shift, but he couldn’t turn around. He couldn’t look in her eyes and see betrayal and hurt. Pity.
“There’s only one me. I’m a murderer, Mia. That’s all I’ll ever be.”
Her fingers landed like butterflies on his shoulders, so light and insubstantial. “You’re more than that. When you’re with me…I see the real you, Damien. The man beneath all the scars.”
“I’m no good for you, Mia. I’ll only end up hurting you.”
“Then that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
He spun around and grabbed her by the wrists. “What if I’m not?”
Her brown eyes flashed and she rose up on her tiptoes. “Then you’ll have to try a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me. I’m not afraid of you, Damien. Nothing you can say would change that.”
“We have to go back.”
Mia’s eyes went wide and she eased to the floor. “What?”
“A cop I know…He’s got something for me. Says Marcelo’s turned up the heat. He wouldn’t discuss it over the phone.”
“You said the cops were dirty.”
“Not this one.”
She tugged at her hands and Damien let her go. “Then I’m coming with you.”