“Someone, protect my virginity.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I eased down to lie on my back, speaking now through gritted teeth. The pain was getting worse. “I’m completely terrified.”
“You’re in pain,” he said quietly. “We’ll talk about this later.”
“You’re dying, Grant. Maybe we all are. There’s no more later.” And then, after a moment’s hesitation, I added: “You cut our bond.”
If I expected remorse, I didn’t get it. What I saw instead was a lack of anything resembling emotion: His gaze went flat, empty. Dead, even. I felt cold, looking at him—cold and lonely.
“Losing our bond was what almost killed me,” he said. “I’ve never felt so hollow. Like half of me died when you went away.”
“I’m still here.” I reached for him, which took more strength than it should have. “And so are you. Why haven’t you linked us together again?”
He said nothing. I squeezed his hand, hard.
His jaw tightened, unhappiness and frustration flickering through his eyes. “If I die while we’re still connected, you could be hurt—or worse. That’s why I severed us before . . . and that’s why I haven’t put us back together again.”
“Grant—”
“I don’t need our bond anymore to stay alive. I have the demons. It’s not the same, but I can make it work.”
“Demons aren’t me,” I replied, hurt. “I’m your wife.”
“You’re my wife,” he agreed softly. “I’m lonely for you, Maxine. I don’t know what I am, without you inside me. But doing anything that might hurt you, just to have that feeling of you and me . . . I can’t do that.”
“Asshole.”
Grant kissed me. “I’m your asshole.”
I shook my head. “Just what I need.”
He said nothing, taking my left hand and holding it—light, gentle. Melancholy bloomed inside me; a profound, devastating, wistfulness. We’d had so little time together, but all of it—all of it—transformative and good.
In a voice just as soft as his touch, I said: “Grant. I made a bargain with the darkness. When our daughter was dying. I promised it me. My life, my soul. So what happens when it finally makes its claim? What will I become?”
He said nothing. I gathered my courage and met his gaze. I couldn’t read him, not at first—he was too still, his gaze too dark. I didn’t know if that was anger or tenderness, and I held my breath, waiting.
“She was dying,” he echoed, in a quiet voice. “I felt it. I saw her light slipping away, and I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t touch her. And I knew . . . I knew we wouldn’t have another chance to make another.” A bitter smile touched his mouth. “I’m glad, Maxine. I’m glad you made that bargain. For her, for you. Whatever it brings. Whoever you become. I’ll love you.”
The hard knot broke. “You think I won’t love you? No matter what you become? Who else could I ever love?”
“If one of those cartoon Thundercats ever sprang to life, you’d leave me in a red-hot second.”
“Well,” I said. “Yeah.”
Grant laughed, leaning in to kiss me. But his smile faded, and a shudder raced through him. I said, “I’m scared, too. If I turn into Satan, I’m going to be a terrible mother.”
“Huh,” he replied. “She’ll have a demon lord as a daddy, enslaving the entire world. Just for her.”
“Why stop at one world? We need to think about her future.”
“Queen of the universe.” Grant kissed my brow just as the Messenger emerged from the house. She stared at me with a hint of disdain, but that was her normal bitch-face—what she really felt was impossible to tell.
“You should not be able to speak,” she said, studying the air around me. “You are in tremendous pain.”
“Yes,” I replied. I could almost hear my flesh crackling as the boys fought to free themselves. “Grant knows I don’t like to be fussed over.”
She raised one cold brow. “You will hunt the beast?”
“I’ll find him. I’ll do what I can.”
“I’m going with you,” Grant said. “We don’t know how strong the boys will be when they wake up. And you’re too trusting of your grandfather. I don’t have that problem.”
I looked to the Messenger, but all she said was, “As ill as the Lightbringer might be, his power is still greater than mine. His strength has returned for a short time, Hunter. He should not waste it by staying here.”