"I plan to drag your ass in front of a priest as soon as my ma can arrange that shit." That got your attention. She sat up like something stung her on the ass.
"Are you on something, you do know crack kills right?"
Yeah, I wanted to spend the next fifty years listening to this shit, like I didn't have enough of this shit when I was a kid, surrounded by crazy ass women. Shit can you imagine Sunday dinners at the house, damn, her and my two sisters together, that almost scared me more than being shot at.
I chose to ignore her question since we were getting hitched with or without her consent.
"So, who all was shooting at you last night, a disgruntled husband perchance?" she had the nerve to bat her fucking lashes at me.
"I don't poach on other people's territory how insulting."
"Don't get your panties in a bunch there Shawna baby, sheesh."
I should just drown her now save myself the fucking aggravation.
"Wasn't no Shawna that popped that cherry babe."
Oh fuck the mouth could blush, get the fuck out, she was pulling her hair into her face to hide it. Well well well looks like I finally found a way to shut her up.
"Any way to answer your question it's nothing for you to worry about, they were after me, I doubt they even know who you are. They'll be dealt with soon enough anyway so put it out of your head.
"Sure, why don't I just forget the whole thing, you said something about Stacco, is that the name of a person or a paint job?"
"It's Stacco not stucco, stucco is a binder used......."
"Yeah I really need a lesson in decorative house art from you right now Professor X."
“Did you just call me a mutant?"
"If the green fits baby.....hey......"
I pulled her under water by her feet, she came up spluttering and I'm sure ready for battle.
"Settle the fuck down will ya, damn it's too fucking early for this shit, now forget everything you heard last night, that's the end of it."
"You're a poor demented soul aren't you, bless your heart."
I could only sigh and close my eyes to escape the insanity that was my life.
"Anyway, I need to go home at some point because I can't work in the same clothes as last night."
"My wife isn't working in no fucking club are you bent."
"You be sure and tell that poor beleaguered woman I send my condolences, now back to me and my need for clean clothes."
I threw the washcloth at her fucking head.
"Oh thank you." She started washing her arms with it.
What am I gonna do with this woman; she'll have me in an early grave faster than my enemy's bullet.
Needless to say we spent the rest of the day arguing until I got frustrated enough to lock her in the bedroom with no way out. You can imagine the curses that were heaped on my head.
"You do realize you just cursed your own firstborn son don't you, since the only sons I will be having will be coming from you."
She tried to scream the fucking place down after that.
"Having trouble there boss, you need a hand with that?"
"Why don't you see to your own affairs and leave mine alone Mikey, you jerk?"
"Just trying to be helpful bro, you ready to go to work or you need some more time with the little lady?"
"Let's go and shut the fuck up."
"Seriously though man, congratulations."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Dude that little lady is so your wife."
"What do you mean?"
"Dude where the fuck have you been she's had you going in circles the last few weeks, I've known you damn near our whole lives and I've never seen you so gone over a chick before."
What the fuck, he couldn't be right, could he, nah, I was just marrying mouth out of honor, it was the right thing to do after taking her virginity, it's what ma would expect. That's right I'm doing it for ma. I could live with that, Mikey was a douche he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.
"What are you a fucking old woman, let's get the fuck outta here before mouth breaks out and fucks us both up."
"Bro you can't leave her in there all night."
"I know that you ass, I plan on coming back early after I know what the fuck is going on with the search for Stacco."
He started humming some shit under his breath and shaking his head at me.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Then shut the fuck up."
"Didn't say a word bro."
“Then stop thinking whatever you're thinking so fucking loud."
"Damn bro, she's rubbing off on you already."
“You better run you fuck." He dodged the blow I threw at his head and ran to the elevator, just what I needed; now him and the other one would be yakking my fucking ears off all day about this shit.