Kulti(175)

I swallowed and stared at that lightly lined face, at his crow’s feet and the lines under his eyes. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. It was plain and simple.

“You never said or did anything to let me know you saw me as more than a friend,” I explained, making sure we were eye-to-eye.

The German didn’t look exactly appeased by my observation. He licked his lips and leaned back against the couch, eyeing me with an expression that was part aggravation and part something else. “What would you have done if I’d said something?”

The hell? “Not believed you.” Why would I? We’d been so hot and cold; I never understood what the hell was going through his head.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “That’s your reason. What would I gain from telling you the first moment I realized you were meant to be mine? Nothing. You’re supposed to protect what you love, Sal. You taught me that. I didn’t wake up one day and know I didn’t want to live without your horrible temper. I saw so much of me in you at first, but you aren’t like me at all. You’re you, and I will go to my grave before I let anyone change any part of you. I know that without a doubt in my mind. This,” he pointed between us. “This is what matters. You are my gift, my second chance, and I will cherish you and your dream. I will protect both of you.

“I’ve been waiting, and I will keep on waiting until the time is right. You are my equal, my partner, my teammate, my best friend. I’ve done so many stupid things that you’ve made me regret—things I hope you will forgive me for and look beyond— but this, waiting a little longer for the love of my life, I can do.

“You are the most honest, warm, loving person I know. Your loyalty and friendship amazes me every day. I have never wanted anything more in my life than I want your love, and I don’t want to share that with anyone. I haven’t done a single thing in my life to deserve you, schnecke, but I will never give up on you, and I won’t let you give up on me.”

And wasn’t that the shit of it?

Someone could tell you that they loved you every day, but still lie and cheat. Or they could never say those three words, but be there for you every day and be more than you ever wanted or dreamed. He wasn’t warm or cuddly, quiet or particularly nice to others, but he was nice to me, and in my heart I knew he would stand by me every time I needed him.

When he left a little later, I lay in my bed and cried two tears. That was it; because it all seemed too good to be true and there were things I hadn’t told him that could change how he felt about me.

What would I do if he changed his mind?



* * *



The Pipers final game against the Ohio Blazers had finally arrived, and I had the jitters.

“You’re going to win, stop worrying.”

I blew out a loud breath from my side of the car. He’d offered to have his driver take us to the stadium that afternoon. He didn’t have to leave early, the doors didn’t open for at least another hour; but Kulti did what Kulti wanted to do and for some reason, he wanted to go at the same time I did.

You’re going to win.

I was so lucky someone cared about my career so much. Most girls could only wish to be this lucky.

That was the problem though.

As the days counted down toward the big final game, I became more and more nervous. Kulti hadn’t acted any differently. He hadn’t tried kissing me since that afternoon outside of my car. When he’d come over to my place, we’d do what we always did and in the middle of his visit, he’d ask me how practice went. Twice we went outside and volleyed the ball back and forth, but that had been it. Except for that one night when he said things to me I never could have dreamed up, he’d been the close-mouthed man I was used to spending time with. Before he’d left, he’d promised to give me time and space to think and focus on what was the most important: the final game.

I still couldn’t help but ask myself what was going to happen after the game.

What if I didn’t get on another team? What if I was injured today? What if I blew my knee out in the off-season? Or the next season?

What would I do then?

The logical part of me knew that I was freaking out about nothing. It wasn’t totally unusual. When I was anxious in situations like these, my mind made up a bunch of other crap to stress about too. Of course this thing between Kulti and I was at the top of my list.

It all weighed on my chest like a ticking time bomb.

What if.

What if.

What if.

He nudged my thigh playfully with the back of his balled up hand. “Stop worrying.”

“I’m not worried, I’m just thinking about stuff.”