“Yes. You.”
“Oh, well, it has some masculine touches that are more suitable to a bachelor than a couple, but overall it’s beautiful.”
“How much do you think this will cost?”
“My time or everything?”
“Everything.”
“I’ve included high, mid, and low options for all the furniture so it depends on you. The last page has a total for each package, but you can pick and choose. The cost will be between $35,000 and $55,000.”
“How much of that is for your services?”
My face had a plastic quality when I smiled at him. “I wouldn’t charge you anything. We’re…friends.”
“Uh huh.” He rubbed the back of his neck “Does that mean you aren’t going to fight your family and me on the engagement?”
I blinked, then stared at him for a second. “I’m not ready to move forward yet. I heard about the engagement party in a week, and I’d like to postpone it.”
“Postpone, not cancel? I can deal with that provided we set a definite date for the engagement party. Will a month be enough time to get your head wrapped around the inevitability of our marriage?”
My stomach soured. A month and my fate would be sealed. It was strange how life worked. Before Rocco died, I had my future all planned out. I’d marry him, have a couple of kids, and live happily ever after with my best friend. One stupid fight and four bullets later, and my future took a sharp turn away from a fairytale to a blank page. It had been blank for nearly three years, and now I had a month to get used to the idea of a life with Nico. A man I didn’t love. A man I’d never love.
With our union , I’d have to say goodbye to Kon. A man who evoked contradictory emotions in me. A man who made me feel alive for the first time in years. A man who made me burn for him with one look or a casual brush of his hand.
A thread of sadness wove around my chest and for a beat I couldn’t move. I begged my legs to snap into action and carry me away from this. Instead, numbness seeped through me, and I felt tired, defeated, and trapped. I should accept this without complaint. That was what my family expected, and I hadn’t bucked their authority before because I never needed to. I had loved Rocco for most of my life, and my family loved him too. As a matter of fact, my mom admitted she and Rocco’s mom started planning our wedding before we could talk. Most women related to made men weren’t as lucky as me. They were told who they were going to marry and shortly after that it happened. End of story.
“I can live with that timeframe,” I conceded, hoping Kon would understand and agree it was enough time to get what he needed from Nico and Dominick.
“Really?” He stood, circled the desk, and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.
“Yes.”
“We should go ring shopping this weekend. You can pick out anything you like. I’ll make this good for you. You’ll see. You won’t regret marrying me.”
I nodded noncommittally, wishing I believed him even for a while. Marrying him would feel like being sentenced to a gilded cage without love or companionship. I’d get every material thing a girl could ever want. I’d never get Nico, and that was fine considering I didn’t want him anyway.
“What about my design proposal? Did you decide what you wanted?”
“You pick. Make sure it reflects your taste. You need to feel comfortable here. It will be your home soon enough.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
My whole body itched with the urge to escape. In less than a year, I managed to arrange two marriages for myself. When I agreed to the deal with Kon, I thought I’d sold my soul to the devil. Now, however, the emptiness I felt when I looked at Nico made me wish Kon had dragged me to the altar the day after my agreement. At least with him, I felt something. Hate. Passion. Desire. Frustration. Excitement. That confusing mash of emotions relentlessly careening through me when I thought about him was better than nothing.
“I’ll pick you up next Friday for dinner to celebrate our engagement. Just the two of us.” He paused. “Unless you want to invite Gian and Evie.”
“Um,” I said, stalling for time. I had plans already, and I knew for a fact Gian didn’t want to go to dinner with Nico. Sure, he’d go if I asked and he’d bring Evie with him so I could spend time with my best friend. Gian hadn’t said anything to dissuade me from dating Nico, yet I got the distinct impression Gian only tolerated Nico, and he didn’t want to associate with him other than on a professional level. “I can’t. I have plans with Ava.”
He dropped my hand and his lips thinned. “You do?”