“What are you talking about? Rocco never met your brother, and he would never…” Her head swung from side to side. “He wasn’t like that. We were—”
“Engaged. I know.” Renzo swiped the back of his hand down his neck, smearing the blood onto the front of his gray shirt. “Everyone knows your story. You were marrying him at the end of the month. You’d been engaged for years. You’d dated since high school. The union between you and Rocco was a big fucking deal. Your family had spent thousands of dollars on the wedding. Dominick and your dad had all these plans for Rocco. I get all that.”
“So what are you saying?” Her voice trembled and tears tracked down her cheeks.
Renzo’s eyes morphed into razor-like slits. “You don’t know shit about your family, do you?”
“I-I—”
“Your family lies about everything!” he roared. “Ask them what your precious Rocco was up to before he died. Your brother knows everything.”
I flagged a couple of guys working security who had gathered at the end of the hall. “Escort Renzo DiTonno out of here and remove his name from the VIP list.”
Renzo lifted his hands next to his head. “I’m done with this place now that you’re welcoming the Trassatos in here. I can show myself out.”
I watched until he disappeared around the corner.
“You okay?” I said, closing and locking us in the bathroom. Clearly she wasn’t. She looked white as a sheet. Her whole body hung like a limp rag and mascara spread out from her eyes like a spider web.
Carmela covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really. No. I want to go home.”
I pulled her hands away from her face, and she squeezed her eyes closed. “Look at me.” She shook her head. “Carmela, come on.”
“I can’t talk about Rocco, okay? Whenever someone says his name, I feel like someone stabbed me in the chest.” A sob poured from her mouth. “Oh, God. Here it comes again.” She opened her eyes and wiped the back of her hand across her face. “Look at me. Why am I crying? I’m such an idiot.”
“No, you’re not. You loved him. I get it. I may be a callous asshole, but I’m not blind.”
“When I think about the last time I saw him, I can’t breathe. I said all the wrong things. I wish I could go back in time and have a do over.”
“It wouldn’t change anything.” I rubbed my hands up and down her upper arms. “I’m sure he knew how you felt about him.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. We’d been fighting a lot. We were both stressed about the wedding, and we didn’t part on good terms. It’s hard living with regrets. They eat me alive, even on good days, they find a way to sneak into my thoughts and steal my happiness.”
“What happened?”
“Stupid stuff. Meaningless stuff. Nothing that wouldn’t have been sorted out the next day, except the next day, he was in a coma, and he was gone shortly after that.”
“Then forget that night and focus on the other stuff.”
She dropped her head against my shoulder. “I wish I could erase it from my memory.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” I wasn’t lying. My last few months with Laney had been a nightmare. She gotten lost in my world and by the time I realized how far gone she was, it was too late. I didn’t recognize her when I saw her around Christmas. She looked like a shell of her former self.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
Her lips moved against my neck, and her arms slipped around my waist. For the first time, I realized how close we were. When I kissed her at the blackjack table, it’d all been for show. I was more concerned with the guys in the room keeping their hands off her than enjoying the feel of her lips against mine. Not that it worked. That punk ass Renzo didn’t hesitate to corner her in the bathroom the first chance he got.
Admittedly, I had kissed her partly because I’d wanted her for longer than I cared to admit out loud. She’d caught my attention a long time before that night my dad and I showed up at her parents’ house. I saw her at a restaurant with Rocco a year or so before he died. Then off and on when I covertly checked in on my sister. Carmela was off limits then, and if I were thinking clearly, I would keep her firmly planted in the no-go zone. My dad would have us married within the month if I gave him the smallest opening, and I couldn’t risk dragging anyone else into my screwed up life.
“I don’t know,” I rasped out, finally answering her question because I’m not always as big of an asshole as I make myself out to be.