As it was, she was beginning to think she was a medical anomaly. That maybe she’d done something—had some rare type of disease—that had hurt her baby somehow and she’d dragged Luke into all of this just to be hurt in the end.
Just to lose everything.
Her heart pounded faster and blood thrummed in her ears as she gripped the passenger side door, closing her eyes to concentrate.
“I need you to do me a favor.” Luke’s voice broke through the panic and she peeked out the corner of her eye to look at him, calm and sure as ever.
“What?” she murmured.
“Breathe in.”
She did as he commanded.
“Breathe out,” he told her. And she did.
“Just follow my instructions, okay? Breathe in, count to four.”
One. Two. Three. Four.
“Breathe out and do the same.”
One. Two. Three. Four.
He repeated the instructions a few more times and to her shock her heart rate began to slow and steady. She loosened her grip from the door and, as she slowly opened her eyes, she found herself breathing without his instruction, slowly and surely, focusing only on her breath.
“Hey.” For the first time in their trip, Luke tore his eyes from the road and looked deep into her face, studying her. She held her breath, waiting for him to say something.
“You’re a champion. You know this medical stuff and you’ve read the books. You know this might be nothing.”
It might be. Or maybe not…
She nodded, trying to stay strong for him, and she was on the point of speaking when the light they’d stopped in front of went green and he squeezed her hand before focusing on the road again.
He pulled up to the hospital and popped the car into park, heedless of the fact he’d settled in the middle of two spots, then rushed around the car to help her from her seat.
It was stupid, but the idea of moving at all sent another thrill of terror up her spine, and she pictured herself crumpling with pain again, blood gushing from between her thighs this time.
She gasped, ready to heave a sob, but then Luke’s arm was around her and he was guiding her toward the desk where a bored-looking receptionist glanced up at them with tired grey eyes.
“This is Tawny Mitchell,” Luke said, and he motioned to Tawny.
“Right this way. The doctor is expecting you.” The nurse pulled out a wheelchair and motioned for Tawny to sit, and as she did, the familiar rush of anxiety swelled inside her again.
This was it. The moment of truth.
And there was nothing she wanted to face less. Just when she’d started to think this all had a chance of working out…she might just wind up losing everything.
Seeing her like this was sheer hell. The fear on her face that he could do nothing to erase. The lines of pain etched into her forehead.
He fucking hated every helpless second of it.
And when the doctor came in and asked if he’d like to step out, he thought he might lose his mind.
“C-can he stay?” Tawny turned her panicked gaze to his, her throat working as she swallowed hard. “Is that okay, can you stay?” she asked him.
He looked to the doctor for approval and the older woman nodded.
“Of course.”
The next thirty minutes went by in a haze of fear as he held Tawny’s hand and the doctor examined her. It was only when the doctor assured them the baby’s heartbeat was strong that he felt like he could breathe.
They weren’t out of the woods yet but it was something.
When had that happened? he wondered, staring down into Tawny’s eyes. When had he started to want this so fucking badly? He still had no idea how he was going to manage. He’d never planned to be a father, especially not at this stage in life. He’d certainly never planned to stay in Alhouette. Now the thought of leaving Tawny and their baby behind made his stomach clench, and the baby wasn’t even born yet.
The doctor rolled over the ultrasound machine and Tawny clenched his hand as her belly was prepped with gel.
The heartbeat was strong. The baby was all right. He had to be.
“The baby looks really good, Mom and Dad,” the doctor murmured, shooting a reassuring smile their way. “Are you having any more pain?”
Tawny shook her head, biting her lower lip. “No. Not for a while now.”
“What did it feel like?”
“Like really bad cramps but all at once and then they would go away. I-I thought I was going into labor.”
“Braxton Hicks,” the doctor said with a nod.
“I thought those usually came later?” Tawny asked. “Are you sure?”
“Well, I’m as sure as I can be. You’re not dilated, the cramping has stopped and the baby doesn’t seem to be in distress.”