"You know? But--"
Barb's eyes widened in obvious alarm, then she said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought Luke would have told you that he told us. We don't tend to keep secrets in this family for long."
Tawny swallowed hard, then, if only for something to do, took another drink of her lemonade.
"I know things are crazy right now, but I have to tell you how excited I am," Barb charged forward. "I try not to pressure my kids into anything but, well, Luke was just born to be a dad.”
"Oh?" Tawny asked, faintly, suddenly feeling a little nauseous.
Barb gave her a vigorous nod. "He's a good man. Hard working. So protective of his brothers. I couldn't ask for a better son and I just know he'll be a great father. There's no doubt in my mind."
"I guess he does have a lot of experience taking care of kids."
Barb smiled. "More than he'd probably like, but at the end of the day? Well, you know. I'm sure you're going to be a great mother, too."
"I'm glad one of us is.” Tawny let out a little laugh, but then Barb reached out and covered Tawny's hand with her own.
"I don't know what it's like to be pregnant, but I do know what it's like to wonder about what kind of parent you'll be. Please, let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Anything at all."
All of the sudden, it felt like a softball was lodged in Tawny's throat, but she nodded just the same. For a few more minutes, they talked over Tawny's plans for finding a job and getting ready for the baby, and by the time she was walking out the door, she could feel a piece of her heart warming toward Barb, but there was still something stuck in the back of her mind, begging for an answer.
Was she right about Luke? After all, she was his mother. She knew him better than anyone else in the world, and if she said he would be a good father...
Well, maybe it would be worth a shot to let him try. Wouldn't the smart thing be to let someone in? To allow him to help her and be there for the baby instead of running from him at every turn?
It would be hard, of course, to plan every little detail with another person, but did everything have to be so coordinated and planned out?
Couldn't she just let things unfold?
She started her car, then glanced up at the tiny window above the garage before turning her attention to the road and driving away.
She’d work on keeping an open mind. But for now? She needed to get a little distance between herself and all the Anderson’s.
They were already starting to feel a little too much like home, and no one knew better than she did how much it hurt to get attached to a home and lose it…
Chapter 15
Tawny took a deep breath, then leaned back in her chair and surveyed her list. She’d spent the whole of her morning bent over the sheet of paper, careful not to miss a single checkbox or talking point, but now that it was over and in front of her, she couldn’t deny what was staring her in the face.
Namely?
That the thing was almost fifteen pages long.
In fairness to herself, though, that was hardly her fault. With the baby coming in just a handful of months, there were still so many things to decide and consider and if Luke really wanted to be a part of things, she’d have to make sure they were on the same page. In this case, that happened to be literally.
Swallowing hard, she took one last look at the list and made sure there was nothing else she wanted to add—no last detail she’d forgotten. After five hours, she was pretty sure she hadn’t left anything to chance, but then again…
She flipped the last page over and sighed through her nose.
Enough stalling.
She knew what she had to do. She just had to put on her big girl pants and face it.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.” She scrolled through her contacts, found the newest one, and dialed. Holding her breath, she waited for the dial tone, but the line clicked on before she’d even heard it ring.
“Tawny,” Luke said.
“H-how are you feeling?” she asked.
“Better, thanks to you. Thanks for taking care of me.” She could hear the smile in his voice and a weighty silence stretched between them for a long moment before she found the nerve to speak again.
“Look, um, I was thinking and maybe we should get together and talk everything over. You know, with the baby. I made a little list and it might be good to talk.”
“Absolutely. When were you thinking?”
“Um, are you free this afternoon? I thought I could make lunch and we could talk some things over?”
“You got it. Just send me your address and I’m on my way.”
The line clicked off and she texted him her address and then stared at her phone for a minute before realizing that he was already less than twenty minutes from ringing her doorbell.