Knocked Up(24)

Before, she'd had so much to plan, so many theories of how things might be. But now? Now this thing, this entity she'd been anticipating had a steady, thrumming heartbeat and was moving inside her. He or she, they were a person. Her very own little person.

"Would you like to know the gender of the baby?" the nurse asked, rolling the wand over her tummy, and Tawny swallowed hard again.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I...yes, please." She nodded and the woman grinned back at her.

"Congratulations. It's a little boy."

"A boy," Tawny repeated, and she couldn't bring herself to tear her gaze from the little outline of a person on the screen. From the little face--no, from his little face. Her little boy.

Now she had to shop for little blue clothes and tiny blue binkies. Then there was no holding back any longer. She was weeping, full fat tears rolling down her cheeks, into her hair, and onto the medical tissue behind her head.

She'd had four months to prepare herself and still, somehow this was the first time it had all seemed real. She was going to be someone's mother. She was having a baby.

The monitor switched off and the nurse rolled her chair across the room, filling out something on her iPad before retrieving something from the ultrasound machine.

"Pictures of your little guy,” she said, then held them out to Tawny.

With a shaking hand, Tawny took them and stared back at the white outline that was her little boy. She couldn’t wait to show Suzette.

Vaguely, she wondered if he might look like Luke. Hoped that, maybe, he might have her own thick hair with Luke's stunning blue eyes. Those eyes that had looked so hurt and confused when they'd fallen on her and seen the new, sloping roundness of her belly.

No, this wasn't the time to think about that, though. Now, she was going to think about the new life inside of her. No matter what he looked like, he was bound to be wonderful. Bound to be so much more than she could ever dream.

"Thank you so much," she choked.

The nurse nodded. "It's a very special time. Now, I think you've already made your next appointment, so unless you have any questions for me, I'm going to go ahead and give you some privacy so you can get changed."

The nurse looked at her expectantly, but when Tawny shook her head, the other woman turned on her heel and left the room with a little "click" of the door.

For a moment, all she could do was sit there, breathing deep as a fresh wave of tears threatened to take hold of her. She didn't know anything about little boys. She didn't have any siblings, her parents having realized that having children wasn’t for them, and she had spent most of her time alone playing dolls and or dress up. Of course, it was possible that her little boy might want those things, too, but what would she say if he wanted to learn how to play baseball? Or basketball? How would she answer his questions when it came time for him to become a man?

And how was she going to afford little league uniforms and toy trucks?

She ran her thumb over the picture and promised herself that she'd have answers soon. That, no matter what, this little boy was going to be loved and that was what really mattered most. He'd never move around like she had. He'd have a stable home with stable friends. He would want for nothing.

With a deep breath, she climbed from the table and shrugged her shirt on, wiping off the jelly from her stomach before pulling the fabric over her little bump. Then, as she made to grab her pants, she heard a loud, booming voice echo down the hall.

"I'll be damned," the male voice said, and then a screechy female tone answered him.

"I can't allow you back there, sir."

"You can't stop me, either." The voice was closer now, louder, and with a sudden shock of horror, she realized whose voice it was.

He couldn't have found me here, though. I didn't say what appointment I was even going to. I didn't--

But he had. In the next second, the door swung open with a thunk as it connected with the wall, and he slammed it closed behind him before barricading it with a chair. The doorknob turned, but then he sat in the chair, ensuring nobody was getting in.

"I'm calling the police," the woman, who Tawny now realized was her nurse, yelled through the door.

“Do what you have to do, and I’ll do what I have to do,” Luke bellowed back.

Tawny finished zipping her jeans, then turned her head, trying to hide the sudden rush of heat in her cheeks.

“It’s okay, nurse. I’m fine,” she called through the door, not wanting to cause an even bigger scene. She turned her attention to a seething Luke. “Look, I can't fight with you right now." Every word was a struggle, but she knew that he'd heard her, and that was all that mattered.

"I didn't come here to fight," he said, and his voice was softer than it had been before, gentler.