Knocked Up(16)

“Shit," Tawny murmured, then stuffed the box and test strips into her purse before saying, "Just a minute."

"Relax, it's just me. My mom and dad still aren't home yet. I just wanted to know...you've been in there a while."

"Right, yeah, I've...I've just been waiting. Should show up any minute."

"Do you want me to come in there with you, maybe?"

"No," she answered too quickly, and there was a little pause on the other side of the door before Suzette spoke again.

"All right, well, I'll be out here, then. When you're ready."

Tawny listened as her friend's footfalls grew fainter, and then she leaned her forehead against the tacky wallpaper and sighed.

She had to make a choice. Had to decide whether to tell Suzette the truth or... or what? Pretend that she was getting very fat in one particular area? Maybe she could just start eating a lot more, get fat everywhere and she'd have nine months to kill before she had to fess up.

She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, then shook her head.

Eight months. She was probably already a month along, after all. So...she had eight months.

The terror at the back of her neck trickled back down her spine and settled low in her gut, coiling itself around the tiny little heartbeat she imagined she could feel inside.

She'd always wanted a family, it was true. She'd even wanted to have her kids at a young age. But to have a baby now? When she didn't have a job? Didn't have a home to call her own? Or even a father for the baby she was carrying?

She thought of Luke for the first time and her heart flipped over. It wasn't that he'd left without a word. He’d kissed her gently afterwards. Had helped her dress and walked her back to shore. He’d even asked her to stay longer when she tried to leave early. And when the night was over, he’d asked for her number, which she’d given him.

What had happened between them, stupid as it was in hindsight, had been special. Pretty perfect, as far as first times went, if one discounted the fact that they’d both lost their minds and hadn’t even considered birth control. In fact, even the days following, she’d managed to block that part from her mind. So sure that the fates couldn’t be so cruel. So sure that she wouldn’t pay such a steep price for the one moment of irresponsibility in her otherwise pretty frigging boring and all-too responsible life.

What a moment it had been, though. Despite her current dilemma, she couldn’t deny that, even now, thoughts of it made her upper lip break out in a fine sheen of sweat.

Afterward, about a week later, Luke had even called her. But, coward that she was, she hadn't had the nerve to call him back. There was no way a guy like Luke would ever want to be with her for more than a bit of fun, and practical Tawny didn’t have time for fun. It was better to view it for what it was and let it hold a special but isolated place in her heart. So she’d tried to put everything that happened that night by the lake in the back of her memories and keep it there, never to be thought of again except in her dreams.

Now, though?

Now she had no choice. In fact, at this moment, she was pretty sure it would be all she would think about ever again for the rest of her life.

She shot a glance to her purse and squeezed her eyes closed. That night would always be the night that had changed her life forever. And Luke...didn't he deserve to know that?

The thumping beat of Suzette's radio stopped as one song came to an end and Tawny stood up, righted herself, and stared into the mirror.

"You don't have to solve everything right now,” she told her reflection quietly. Apparently, though, her expression hadn't been listening, because the panic in her eyes was probably clear from outer space.

Still, she could only work with what she had.

Slowly, she left the room and double-checked her purse to make sure she'd taken both pregnancy tests along with her. Then, she opened the door to Suzette's room to find her friend sprawled on her bed, scrolling through her Facebook feed. The second Tawny closed the door behind her, though, Suzette was sitting bolt upright, eyes wide as she waited to hear what Tawny had to say.

"It was inconclusive,” Tawny murmured with a shrug, attempting to fashion her numb lips into some facsimile of a smile. "We'll try again in a couple weeks, you know, if we need to."

Suzette's shoulders, which had been hiked somewhere around her ears, loosened, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. That means you're probably not pregnant. Still, if you want, we can go and get another brand or make an appointment at the--"

"No, no, it's okay. I think we've had enough excitement for one day." Tawny tried her best to sound normal and upbeat, and though it felt forced, apparently it sounded convincing enough to fool Suzette.