Hearts on Fire 4: Kisses Sweeter Than Pie(2)

“What is wrong with her? Are you deaf or something?”

Nina’s head was spinning. She was utterly sick over this, disgusted with Rico, with Stacy, and mostly with herself for sticking around Rico so long.

“She’s such a loser. Get rid of her, Rico,” Stacy said, giving Nina a flick with her fingers and tapping her stomach. Nina lost it.

The anger hit her head with a throbbing headache, but then her upset over finding out how disloyal and unfaithful Rico truly was overwhelmed her emotions and her body. She threw up all over Stacy.

“Jesus!” Rico blurted out and jumped backward into the apartment. Stacy screamed and stomped her high heels and Nina covered her mouth and ran into the apartment. She could hear Rico yelling at Stacy to get lost and Stacy carrying on. Nina’s head was spinning, her heart was aching. She felt like such a loser. She ran into the bathroom and held on to the toilet but nothing more came. She tried to calm her breathing and not focus on what just happened. She thought about Stacy’s dress, her smug expression turning to absolute shock and disgust, and Nina found herself laughing.

Then the tears fell. The emotions flooded her body and the crazy thoughts invaded her mind. Rico doesn’t love me. He used me for my body. I’m his possession, his plaything, and I’m not the only one sharing his bed. Yuck.

The door slammed open.

She turned to see Rico in only his black silky dress pants. The belt undone, no shirt, tan skin, muscles, and his gold crucifix. She used to love the man’s body and wonder why he wanted her when all these women wanted him. She had been stupid.

“What the fuck, Nina?” he yelled and hit her. The backhand came so fast and so hard she fell to the left and hit her cheek on the porcelain bathtub.

She was shocked. Outraged. He’d never laid a hand on her before. Always forceful, he kept her close at all times. He tended to be jealous of other men looking at her, which made her feel good inside that he thought her so beautiful and was concerned that another would take her from him. But that wasn’t the case.

Before she could register what was happening Rico was pulling her by her hair, dragging her from the bathroom. She had never been so scared, so frightened by a man’s anger before. She’d pushed him to his limit and he was the one who was caught cheating.

“Rico, please. Stop it, don’t do this. What did I do?” she asked, half covering her face.

“You showed up here when you’re supposed to be at work. This is my place, my apartment.”

“You’re cheating on me?” she asked, tears flowing.

“What the fuck? This is my business. You do as I say. I own your ass, Nina.”

“No. No, you don’t. You’re my boyfriend. We’ve been together for months now.”

“Fuck, Nina, you’re my regular lay. There are others. Are you that fucking dense? Do you really think there was only you?”

He bent down and stared at her. She could see the anger in his eyes. She didn’t want him to hit her again. She just needed to see if they could work it out. She had no one, no place to go. The deep, desperate feeling of abandonment like she had when she realized her mother didn’t love her or care filled her body. Her gut clenched. Why did every person in her life she counted on fail her, give up on her, and just toss her out like garbage? She was a good person, hard worker, and caring, yet they still thought so little of her. She didn’t want to be alone. She wanted love, she wanted a man’s arms around her at night caring for her and protecting her the way it was supposed to be. But it seemed that was not reality, only fantasy. She needed to try and calm Rico. He was so pissed off.

“Rico, Rico, please tell me what I did wrong? I never cheated on you, so why would you cheat on me?”

His eyes widened. “You’re fucking right you never cheated. You’re mine. You ever fuck another man, hell, kiss another man, and I’ll fucking beat you and kill him. You got it, Nina?” he yelled at her, threatening her as he stood up.

“Yes. Oh God, but what about you? What about Stacy and the others?”

His eyes widened and his expression changed to one of pure evil. She knew that look. It meant trouble. It meant whomever did him wrong was done.

He yanked the belt from the waist of his pants and ran it over his palm.

“My business is my business. Not yours!” he yelled and struck her over her shoulder.

“Please, Rico, don’t. I don’t understand.”

“You will soon enough.” He struck her again and again as he warned her that she was to keep quiet, to do as he said, and to never leave him. He said he could be with whomever he wanted to be with. That he could fuck one, two, three women together if he wanted to because he was the boss, the man.

Nina cried out and begged him to stop. She was petrified and then came the anger, the disgust knowing she had been had. It was a lie. All his words and his actions were lies.

“Please, Rico. I will obey. I’ll obey,” she told him as she continued to cry.

She wondered where things had gone so wrong. Who was this man, this monster, she adored and thought was her future, her destiny? She didn’t know him and her need to feel loved had her making bad choices one after the other. She gave him her virginity and her heart, and he’d stomped on it like a bug.

Rico stopped, but her body continued to convulse in the aftereffects of his abuse and the extent of her emotional turmoil.

He fell to his knees and pulled her up by her cheeks. His dark, almost black eyes bore into hers.

“God, look what you made me do. Nina, you’re special to me. So very special. You are my everything, but I have needs, desires that are too corrupt, evil, dirty for someone so sweet as you. You need to accept this. You are mine, Nina.”

“But why another woman? If what you say is true, then why cheat on me? Why do you need to have sex with someone else? If you didn’t want me anymore, you should just tell me so I can leave.” The tears struck her eyes because she really didn’t want that to be true. Life would be so difficult, so lonely without Rico or anyone she knew. All her friends were his friends. All her acquaintances were Rico’s. She truly would have nothing, would be completely on her own, and it scared her more than his strikes and his disgust with her.

His eyes grew darker, his grip on her cheeks tightened and he clenched his teeth as he spoke softly, yet with such power.

“I don’t think you understand. You’re mine. No other man will ever have you. This is your life now. I say when it’s over.” He was silent and his words tore her heart open and made her realize how stupid she had been.

He shoved away from her with an expression of disgust, yet he was the one who struck her cheek, caused her to hit her head and bleed, and the one who caused the deep red marks across her shoulders, back, and arms.

“Tell me you love me, Nina.”

Her lips were quivering. She was petrified. Why would he ask that now, when obviously he didn’t love her?

He raised his hand at her.

“I love you,” she said and cried out, the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You need to show me. Get undressed, and get on the bed.”

Her eyes widened in shock. The last thing she wanted right now was for him to have her. She obviously didn’t move quickly enough as he pulled her up by her blouse, ripping the material and lifting her to her tiptoes.

His face was against hers, his spittle hitting her cheeks and eyes.

She could smell Stacy’s cheap perfume. Could see the lipstick marks on his neck this close to him. She scrunched her eyes together and tried not to breathe her scent in. It was all consuming. The realization that this man she thought she loved didn’t love her and now would degrade her in such a way caused turmoil and disgust to swirl in her empty belly. She felt this sudden hollow sensation, like she was going to die. Like even if he forced the sex on her tonight and she survived his abuse that she would lose what little bit of soul she had left.

Rico shook her. “You’re going to learn the hard way. I’m in charge of you, Nina. You do as I say, or your punishments will be worse. Now get undressed or I’ll do it for you.”

She reached for the buttons, her fingers shaking. She didn’t do it fast enough and he grabbed at her blouse, tearing it off of her. Her large breasts bounced. The red bra she wore under the black blouse had been meant for him but that was before. Before Stacy, before his abuse, and before he degraded her and let her know he used her for her virginity and innocence.

She stared at him in his dress pants, the belt in his other hand, his chest heaving, his red lips wet from his yelling. He was no longer the sexy, attractive man she had thought she loved. Instead she saw him as the monster he really was.

He struck her again and yelled for her to get undressed. His strike was so hard she turned and hit the side dresser. She grabbed onto the solid wood. In her mind she had flashbacks of years ago when she was a little girl and her mother brought home one of her johns. The man was drunk, abusive, and he struck her mother, grabbed her by her hair and dragged her to the bedroom. Her mom’s eyes locked onto Nina’s. That lost look was how Nina felt right now. After all she went through, was she going to turn into her mother, the woman who died in some alleyway with none of the men she gave her own daughter up for?