Loren growled low and she cast him an apologetic smile.
“You did ask, remember?”
He huffed. “It does not mean I have to like what I hear. I do not like the thought of you with another male, especially one you found hot.”
Olivia held her smile inside when he looked himself over, blatantly wondering how she viewed him. She had thought he was sex on legs before he had given her the most incredible orgasm of her life. Beauty, brains, brawn and bloody incredible sex. The man had the whole package.
She kept her face straight and didn’t say anything, but the sly smile that curled the corners of his sensual lips told her he had picked up on her feelings and knew her thoughts.
“There was some heavy petting and then we started seeing each other. He was attentive, supportive, sweet and a demon in the sack.” That earned another dark growl from Loren and he muttered something about tracking and killing the male’s entire race anyway. She patted his hand and he glared at her. “Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“Tell me I was better,” he said and the wild yet vulnerable edge to his purple eyes had her going against her better judgement.
“You were better.”
He looked as though he wanted to kiss her but stroked her arm instead, his gaze holding hers. She wanted to keep this conversation light so she didn’t begin to dredge up the details about what had happened and didn’t risk dropping her guard again, but it became impossible as she stared into his eyes, remembering everything he had said to her. He wanted her heart. He wanted to complete their bond.
A bond that would unite them forever, making her immortal.
What if she went along with that and it turned out he was just like the bastard demon and he had used her, playing her for a fool?
Eternity of living with herself and that betrayal? She didn’t think she could take it. It was hard enough living with the hurt that burned inside her now and she only had to bear it for a finite number of years.
“Olivia?” Loren smoothed his palm across her cheek and she closed her eyes, unable to look at him while she was trying to get her emotions in check and back under her control, and kick her heart back into line.
“I fell in love with him, Loren... I fell for him and I thought what we had was real, and then he used everything he had learned from me and my clearance... and he infiltrated this building.” She opened her eyes and stared at the purple embroidery on the breast of Loren’s black jacket, replaying that terrible night. “He went on a killing spree... there was so much blood. My pager went off and I rushed to answer the call, and ran into him. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing... but I knew it was my fault. I had been foolish enough to fall for a demon, and he had played me like the weak human female I was. All to infiltrate and destroy Archangel.”
“And then he attacked you?” Loren closed his fingers around her forearm and she nodded.
“I tried to stop him.” Her voice squeaked and she coughed to clear the tightness from her throat. “I fought him, trying to distract him so hunters would have a chance to kill him.”
Loren’s grip on her tightened, his voice a dark thick growl. “You tried to sacrifice yourself.”
She jerked out of his grip. “What else was I supposed to do? People were dying because of my stupidity. They were all going to die because I had been stupid enough to trust a demon with my heart.”
Loren reached for her but she evaded him, stumbling back a few steps, needing the space or she was going to end up giving in to her fierce need to feel Loren’s arms around her and hear him say the words that would somehow fix her broken heart and make it new.
She shook her head and clenched her fists. “I can’t do this, Loren. Can’t you see that?”
“I can see that you were hurt, and you feel betrayed still... and you think all men are out to hurt you and use you like that.”
“Not all men... just demons.”
“I am not a demon, Olivia.” He tried to reach for her again but she kept shaking her head and backing off, keeping the distance between them even.
“Demon... fae... the similarities are there... and I can’t pretend they don’t exist. You were dumped on our doorstep and I felt so attracted to you, even when I knew I shouldn’t, even when I kept thinking about him and what he had done. Then this whole crazy bond thing happened because you bit me and then you demanded to come to Archangel... and then the building that had become my home is bombed.” Olivia struggled to breathe as the weight of it all pressed down on her, the force of it crushing her. “And I can’t stop thinking you’re out to do the same to me.”