“I’m not sure,” he lied. Seth closed his eyes and leaned his head back once more. “I don’t know why my body won’t accept any other blood and I can only guess what would happen to me. I believe one of two things will happen. The first guess is that if I can allow myself to become hungry enough I might be able to break past whatever is stopping me from gaining nourishment elsewhere. But then I also run the risk of draining whomever I drink from, unable to stop myself in my hunger.”
“Or,” she prompted. She wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t quite buy his answer. There was something about the way he refused to look her in the eye, the way he was avoiding looking at her altogether.
“Or, I’ll starve to death.” He said it without being condescending, as if he were merely discussing cold facts instead of his life.
“Basically, you’re telling me if I walk away I’ll kill you?”
“We don’t know that…” He hadn’t moved. Seth kept his head resting against the back of the couch as though they were discussing something of little importance rather than his life.
“Seth, don’t lie to me. At least pretend you have more respect for me than that. Treat me like I was something more than just a free meal or two.”
Seth lifted his head and stared into her face. “Fine. Does it make you feel better to know that I know if you walk away I will die? That I will slowly starve to death because no other blood will ease my hunger? I’m prepared to accept my fate.”
“But… I could…” Her heart wrenched at the thought of losing him.
“No. Don’t even think about it,” he snarled. “I won’t let you stay in my life because you feel an obligation to me. I’d rather be dead than know the only reason you’re here is to feed me.”
“Seth…”
“No. That is not negotiable, Willow.”
“And just how do you plan on stopping me if that’s what I decide to do?” she asked, her tone growing harsh to match his.
“Simple, I’ll refuse to drink.”
“Yeah, because it worked so well last time you tried to refuse me, right?” She was too angry to worry about blushing over the memory of how she’d enticed him to drink.
“Why do you care?” he roared. “I’m nothing more than a monster to you. Why do you care if I live or die? You walked out on me. You can’t do that then just pretend like everything is fine. I won’t let you stomp all over my poor ‘undead’ heart again.”
“What?” She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly.
“Nothing.” He stormed out of the room.
Willow followed him into the kitchen. She couldn’t have heard him correctly, right? I stomped on his heart?
Seth gestured to the pile of chocolate on the counter. “If you still want chocolate, I grabbed plenty. I wasn’t sure what you liked…”
“Whoa, back up there, vamp-boy. Did you say you won’t let me stomp all over your heart again? As in, I’ve already stomped on it once?”
“Does it matter?” He played with a chocolate bar and refused to look at her.
“I do care. I don’t know why. God knows I don’t understand it. But seeing you so weak last night, knowing that you needed help… I couldn’t just walk away.”
“Great. Just what every man wants to hear.” Sarcasm dripped from his every word. “I don’t want your pity. Don’t worry about me, I’ve survived for eight hundred years without you in my life, I’m sure I’ll be just fine after you leave. And I assure you, now that I know precisely how you feel, I will not ‘terrorize’ your dreams any longer.” Seth turned and walked away from her again.
This time Willow didn’t follow him. She grabbed one of the chocolate bars and made her way to the elevator. There was too much to think about right now. She needed some time and space to consider what she had learned. And something deep inside her insisted Seth needed some space as well.
With an oddly heavy heart, Willow pressed the lobby button. This time, before she left the building she grabbed a business card giving the address, just in case she decided to try to check on Seth.
Climbing inside a taxi, she kept the card firmly inside her hand instead of placing it in her pocket.
When they arrived at her building, she was thankful that she’d worn jeans and remembered to take money with her. After paying the driver, she hurried to her apartment, lost in her own thoughts.
When Roxy opened the door, Willow surprised her sister by simply walking past her, ignoring all of her questions. She strode to her bedroom and shut the door, locking it just to be sure Roxy didn’t barge in.