“You took it hard. I remember. It makes sense now, though. I honestly just thought you were upset about losing the connection you two always had through years of friendship when he came to town. Now though, hell, Q, I’m just as baffled as you are about his abrupt departure.”
“I loved him,” I admit, my voice full of melancholy. “I loved him so big and bright that the only future I could see was with me at his side. He made me forget the hurt I harbored from my father’s verbal lashings. The pain of my mama’s abandonment didn’t even register anymore. I was whole, Leigh. So full inside that it was tippin’ over the edges and floodin’ everythin’ around me in the most beautiful way. Then all I felt was the bone-chillin’ loneliness when, just as quickly as that summer passed, I was hollow again.”
I hear the tick of a clock behind me mixing with the loud purrs coming from Earl as the silence stretches around us. Me stuck in my memories and Leigh letting me get my thoughts caught up with my mouth. Silently giving me the strength to get it out.
“I want to hate him,” I whisper. “I want to hate him so badly that I shake with it. It hasn’t been that long, but maybe the last almost nine years have been hard on him too and he’s feelin’ some karma over leavin’ like he did. He was as close to perfect as one man could get back then, but he could roll into Pine Oak baldin’ with a giant beer gut. Honestly, though, even if that’s how it plays out, I think I’ll still feel nothin’ but need for him. Each day that’s passed in the last few weeks since I called him in your office there’s been somethin’ growin’ inside me that gets stronger with each hour that brings his arrival closer. It’s almost as if my soul knows he’s comin’ back. How stupid is that shit?”
I was zoning out as I rambled, just gazing at a random spot on the wall across the room from me. I laugh dryly thinking about how corny my thoughts sound when voiced out loud and roll my head against the cushion to look at Leigh. I expect her to be holding in laughter at the cheesiness. The last thing I anticipated seeing, though, was tears welling up in her eyes.
“What?” I ask, hesitantly testing the waters, not sure if I like the tingly feeling of trepidation I get with the powerful emotions rolling off of her in heavy waves.
“Do you really want to hear it?” Her voice wobbles, but she composes herself with a small cough.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
She shifts, turning her body so that she is facing me fully instead of just sitting next to me and looking over. She reaches out, the light catching the diamonds of her engagement ring, and grabs my hand in a strong hold.
“There is only one time in my life I have ever felt that feelin’, Quinn, and that was the day your brother came home. I didn’t even realize that’s what it was until just now. I had just assumed it was just the heaviness of the day he came back.” She’s talking about my father’s funeral. “I get it now, though. That invisible connection only two people meant to be together have was snappin’ back in place and pullin’ all that slack out of the rope.”
“Jesus Jones,” I mumble, knowing there is truth to her words even if I’m not ready to admit it to myself just yet.
“Don’t fight it. Quinn, promise me that no matter how much you want to, you’ll give it a chance to keep pullin’ that slack until you two meet in the middle.”
“I’m not sure I can make that promise.” And I’m not. Really, I’m not.
“You won’t have a choice,” the deep, rumbling voice of my brother cuts in.
My eyes widen at the same time Leigh’s get soft and dreamy.
“I’m not stickin’ my head in girl talk, because I don’t have the right equipment between my legs to even begin to understand the fucked-up ways y’all twist shit up in your heads, but I’m gonna pretend I have my waders on and muddle my way into the thick of it, got it?”
Maverick must not expect an answer to his question, because he just stomps into the living room and drops his huge frame into the love seat opposite where I’m sitting. I watch him eye Earl with caution, and if it were any other moment, I would laugh that my big, strong brother is still worried the cat might eat him one day.
“The last thing I like thinkin’ about is my baby sister being old enough to find the person she’s meant to share her days with, but I’m not a stupid man, so I know this day’s gonna come whether I want it to or not. You know I fought my own day, Hell-raiser. I fought it so hard that it cost me somethin’ fuckin’ beautiful for years, and that’s not somethin’ I want anyone to experience, especially not you. I remember him—Tate, that is. I didn’t understand the way he would look at you back then. I reckon I get it now, what he was feelin’, because it’s the same thing I see in my mirror every mornin’ I wake up with Leigh by my side.”