Dean spoke gently, and Rush buried his head in his father’s neck as he now gripped Dean with all the strength he could muster.
“I think it’s time you leave. I ever hear you talk like that around my son again, you won’t see him again,” Dean warned in a low voice as he looked at Georgianna.
Then he turned and walked away with Rush in his arms.
“You can go now,” Kiro told her, then he made a move toward me.
I, however, wasn’t ready to be near him or speak to him. Not after everything I had just heard and seen. God, how did I not know his world was fucked up? He was a rock star. Of course he had a screwed-up past and present.
I turned and hurried back to the stairs and to the room I had been given. Did I leave, or did I stay and deal with the insane world I had walked into?
Kiro
The bottle of vodka in my hand was almost empty. I stared at the flames in the fireplace as I held the cold glass in my hands. When Georgianna had finally left, I hadn’t been able to face Emily. Not after the way she had looked at me.
She hadn’t known I had a son. One that I never saw. I had tried once, but it was too much trouble. His mother didn’t want him touched by my world. Then Georgianna claiming she was pregnant with my kid. Shit. Motherfucker! I had used a condom every damn time. I know I did. She was lying to me.
The woman was a vindictive bitch, and I swear to God, I had almost hit her. If it hadn’t been for Emily standing there, watching me like she was looking for any sign to prove I was good, I would have. But I didn’t want to let her down. I had, though. Big-time.
Dean was going to be pissed, too. Rush had heard all that shit, and Dean wasn’t going to like it. I couldn’t blame him. He loved the boy, and although the boy’s momma was a bitch, he was a cute kid. I shouldn’t have let her get to me like that in front of him.
“I think I should leave,” Emily’s gentle voice said. It’s strange how words spoken from such a sweet mouth could twist your insides so damn painfully. My Emily wanted to leave me.
I turned my head to see her standing in the doorway. She was beautiful. Always so beautiful. Her long dark hair framed her face, and the puffiness of her hazel eyes said she’d been crying. Because of me. I hated myself. I was a fuck-up.
“Don’t leave me,” I said, standing up and fighting the sway my body wanted to take as the room moved. I’d had too much to drink. Too damn much.
“I can’t stay here. I don’t agree with the way you live. I may sound prudish or judgmental, but this isn’t a world I can live in.”
The obvious pain in her voice wasn’t lost on me. She didn’t want to leave me. She was just too scared to stay. She’d found out too much about me. Too damn fast.
“I’m a fuck-up, Emily. I’ve always been a fuck-up. My parents didn’t want me. They fucking hated me. Came home one day from school, and my mother had packed my shit and left it on the front porch. I was thirteen. Said she was tired of being my momma. Said the bitch who gave me life ran off on my daddy when I was a baby, and I was just like her. Found out that day that my dad didn’t want me, either. I had no one. Dean’s momma took me in. Let me sleep in their living room. They eventually got custody of me. Killed me when she died of breast cancer. Only person to ever want to help me.” I was drunk, and I was saying shit I never said. I needed to stop, but Emily was leaving me, and I couldn’t. I needed her to stay. I couldn’t lose her, too.
“Everyone leaves me. I’m no good. I’m not worth it.” I threw the bottle into the fireplace. “Because I’m fucking worthless.” I turned back to her.
Tears had filled her eyes and were now running down her face. I was making my angel cry. I destroyed things. I couldn’t let myself destroy her. She meant too much. She was special.
“I wasn’t meant for an angel. I never should have tried to get close to one. You were always too good for me. I just wanted to be near you. To see your smile. It made everything inside of me feel whole again. The nasty and tainted shit in my life was better when you were around. You have this light, Emily. It’s so fucking bright. It warms everything around you. It warmed me. I was always so empty and cold before you.”
She moved then. I thought she had heard enough and was leaving. I didn’t know if I would survive this time. Losing her was going to break me for good. Only so many times a guy could recover.
I sank to my knees and dropped my head into my hands. I had ruined it all.
“Kiro.” Emily’s voice was beside me, and her arms wrapped around me. “You aren’t worthless. You’re special, too.” Her words shattered what was left of my heart.