I don't deserve her but, fuck, I will do everything I can to love her for the rest of our lives.
"Mama?" Sophia asks, walking over to us. "Mama, you're marrying your BFF?"
"I am, sweet pea." Claire wipes tears from her face.
"I have something for you too, Sophia," I say, pulling out a small gold ring shaped like an infinity symbol; tiny diamonds fleck the band. Mum said it was the perfect first diamond ring, and that her granddaughter deserved a promise from me, too.
"It's too much," Claire says, shaking her head, looking over at my mum and dad.
"No, Claire, it isn't," Dad says, adamant.
"This is for you, princess," I tell Claire, slipping the ring on her right hand ring finger. "We can be a family now, your mum says so."
"And you'll be my daddy? I've never had one of those before." She wraps her arms around me, and at that I start crying too. But I don't feel like a pussy. I feel like a goddamned man.
And as I hold them close, tucked in my arms, I know one thing: When you live in the shallow water you have to keep kicking to stay afloat, but the deep end is where you can dive.
And who wants to simply float through life when you have the chance to swim, hand in hand, in uncharted waters with the people you love?
Claire
This is insane. Like, literally insane.
A week ago, the love of my life got down on one knee in the dining room of his family's freaking estate and gave me a fifteen-carat diamond ring.
And I said yes.
And now I am wearing a wedding gown-white organza to the floor, a strapless sweetheart neckline. With a diamond encrusted waistband, and flowers in my hair.
How is this my life?
It's like the moment I said yes to the possibility of a happily ever after, I was given one.
"Mama," Sophia asks, tugging on my hand. "When does the party start?"
"Soon, Sophia. Can you wait a few more minutes? Then we get to walk down the aisle."
"I get to throw flowers down the aisle, right?"
"Sure do, sweet pea."
Emmy and Tess walk over to where I'm standing. The hairstylist is fixing my hair under the diamond tiara Sophia and Helen picked out for me.
"Is it too much?"
"Never too much," Tess says, laughing. "Honestly, though, it looks perfect."
"You really are a beautiful bride, Claire," Emmy says. "Fiona, you too." Emmy looks over at my future sister-in-law, who stands a few feet away.
Fiona's gown is mermaid-style with long lace sleeves, and the cut hugs her curves. I never would have guessed Fiona had such a smoking body under her pantsuits.
"This is really happening, isn't it?" Fiona asks, her face seemingly lined with worry. Looking at her more closely, I notice she's biting her nails.
"It sure is," I tell her, walking over and patting her arm. "You doing okay?"
"Sure," she says, in a high-pitched voice, clearly trying to mask something. "I'm good. Just a little nervous all of a sudden." Fiona's face seems to have drained of color.
The stylist smoothing Fiona's gown looks up reassuringly. "It's just butterflies. Makes sense, all brides have a bit of the jitters."
I don't, though. I don't feel anything but blissed-out-happiness. Still, I want to make sure Fiona is okay.
"It's been a whirlwind of planning," Fiona says. "And it feels like it's come together too easily, like something has to give."
"Or maybe sometimes life really is just perfect," Emmy says, shrugging. "That's how I felt with Ace. Like it was all too good to be true."
Tess sighs. "You guys, I need to find a man so badly. This is starting to bum me out."
"McQueen is single," Emmy suggests.
"Haha," Tess says dryly.
I try and conceal a smile, thinking McQueen and Tess would be a disaster together. She wants to be a man's eye-candy. McQueen is enough candy all on his own. He needs a really confident woman, not someone still learning to live in her skin.
"I can't believe Ashley Fast is going to be at your wedding, Claire," Tess says, dreamily. "At your wedding, Emmy, she wore this amazing Vera Wang. I wonder what she'll wear today."
"Our wedding is more low-key than Emmy's wedding," I say. "We're getting married in the left wing of this house."
Emmy rolls her eyes. "Girl, you're delusional. The left wing happens to be a ballroom in a freaking castle."
"True." I shrug, shaking my head once again at the absurdity of the situation.
"You ready, ladies?" Helen says, walking into the room with my mom. They're both wearing classy dresses with modest jewelry. Diamonds, yes, but they were both careful not to show up Fiona or me.
Fiona's mom, however, didn't get the memo. While she's a single lady like my own mother, she opted for a plunging neckline and an up-do. I smile as she walks in the dressing room, remembering how Landon told me the two of them had a one-night stand.
Before, that's something I would have been insecure about ... but not now. Now I know Landon only has eyes for me.
And that doesn't mean I'm naive. I'm just sure. I have to be, considering we're having a double wedding a week after he proposed.
And a few days after my own divorce was finalized.
Divorce. Wedding. Vows. Forever.
My head swirls with emotions, all of them competing for space.
But I can't dwell on that right now.
Right now I just need to walk down the aisle. One foot in front of the other.
Except I can't. I look around, knowing something just isn't right.
I shake my head at my friends and family, who are walking out the door.
"Wait," I say.
We can't go out there yet. Not unless we are all sure this is the right thing to do.
Chapter Thirty-One
Landon
In our tuxedos, at the front of the ballroom where all our friends and family have gathered for the double wedding, I look over at Geoffrey.
He looks like shit.
"You okay, man?" I ask.
"I don't know," he says, rubbing his temples. "I feel like something is going to happen. Everything has been too perfect."
My brows furrow as I try to understand what he means.
"You think Claire is going to back out of this?" I ask, my throat growing dry. That's my worst case everything.
Geoffrey smirks. "Hardly. You guys are ridiculous; everyone who takes one look at you knows it."
"Then what?" I ask, not knowing what could possibly go awry at this point. The room is filled with Mum and Dad's friends, the officiant stands ready. The string quartet is cued to play the processional music as soon as we get word that the ladies are ready.
Dad walks up to us, dapper in his suit, but not looking happy.
"What?" I ask, the sinking feeling no longer in my throat-it's lodged in my stomach. I close my eyes.
"It's the brides," he says. "Geoffrey, Landon, you need to come with me.
I give him a brief nod and we follow him out.
Fiona is waiting for Geoffrey at the bottom of the staircase. She looks beautiful, but my eyes scan the foyer for Claire.
Where is she?
Maybe it has been too fast, too much.
Maybe she's backing out, fulfilling my worst fear.
"Where's Claire?" I ask Fiona. It's only then that I realize Fiona's eyes are rimmed in red.
Fuck.
"She's in your bedroom upstairs. Sorry, Landon."
My jaw clenches, my legs move before I think. I take the stairs two at a time.
I need to see Claire.
Now.
I knock on the bedroom door, wondering how this could all fall apart so fast. Last night we had a big family dinner. Claire and I packed for our family vacation. She, Sophia, and I are going to Playa del Carmen for ten days in the sun.
I enter our bedroom, see our luggage stacked neatly-but I don't see Claire.
The only place left is the bathroom.
The handle doesn't move. She's locked herself in.
"Open up, Claire," I say through the door.
Now the vacation seems like a distant memory. Now Claire is locked in the bathroom the day of our wedding.
"Baby, talk to me," I say.
"I don't want you to see me, Landon," she says through the door.
"What? Claire, are you okay? What's happening? Fiona is downstairs with Geoffrey. I need to see your face. Claire, you're scaring me."
There's a pause. One second. Two second. Too many fucking seconds.
Then she speaks.
"Oh, baby, you can't see me because it's bad luck. It's our wedding. You can't see the bride."
My forehead falls against the door. Relief floods me.
"You're not walking away? Calling this off?" I ask, my words betraying my fears.
"Landon," she says briskly. "Why would you think such a thing? God, baby. You're my everything."
"Then what is going on?" I think of Fiona and Geoffrey downstairs. Fiona didn't seem like a happy bride-to-be. "You know, Geoffrey saw Fiona before the wedding. They're talking right now."
"I know." She pauses again. "That's because they aren't getting married today."
"Shit."
"I know. I saw it in her eyes, the last few days, but especially today. Right before we walked out of the dressing room, I stopped, needing to check in with her-and a million tears came to the surface. She can't go through with it."