Worse than an ass, I feel like a fuck-up and a fool.
I don't want to talk to Geoffrey, but I know I need to.
I start down the driveway, not having a clue where I'm going, just knowing I need to get out of the house filled with people I've let down, that I'm not good enough for.
Dad. Mum. Geoffrey. Claire.
Claire.
"Fuck," I shout into the void of the dark sky. I've spent so long being this player in Vegas that I've forgotten who I am.
"You okay, there?" Geoffrey asks, running to catch up with me.
"Really?" I ask. "After all this time, now you come after me?"
"Fuck you," Geoffrey says, shooting straight. "You've never wanted me around; I can take a fucking hint."
I stop at the end of the driveway. The road forks to the left or right, and I have no idea where to go. Turning to Geoffrey, I ask the first thing that pops into my mind.
"Why are you marrying Fiona?"
"Because I love her?"
"Is that a question for me?"
"Of course not." Geoffrey scowls under the light of the streetlamp at the end of the drive. "I do love her."
"Why now, though, do you propose? After I show up engaged."
"I don't want to talk about this with you."
"Too bad. You followed me out here, obviously you have something you want to discuss. Let's start with this."
"I haven't asked sooner because the truth is ... I wanted to be more situated before I proposed."
"You, more situated? What the fuck does that mean? You've worked for Dad for years. Surely you have a house and a boatload of cash."
He shrugs. "It's stupid, but I always said I wanted to make ten million dollars, on my own, before I got married. I wanted to give Fiona the absolute best start to life she could imagine. So I've been taking my time. I'm not even thirty; it's not like I've kept her waiting forever."
I stare at him, incredulous. I always assumed he hadn't married her because he was an asshole.
"So what made you change your mind?" I ask. "Why now, when things are financially more rocky and insecure than they've ever been?"
"Because of something you said the first night you were here, when Mum asked why you proposed so soon. You said, I know it's fast, but I couldn't wait another moment. It made me realize I was being an ass."
"And also caused you to go look up dirt on Claire," I say dryly. "Which really was an asshole move, Geoffrey."
"No, it wasn't. It was smart. I was looking out for Mum and Dad. All I ever do is look after Mum and Dad, while you're off fucking waitresses."
"Don't talk about Claire like that," I tell him, up in his face in a second.
"I'm not talking about Claire. I'm talking about your last decade. But you know what? I'm glad you came this week, because it gave me the balls to propose to Fiona, finally. Am I terrified? Hell, yeah. Is it how I imagined? No. I may never have ten million dollars in a bank account, but I do have Fiona. And I don't want to lose her because I'm obsessed with a plan."
The space between us goes quiet.
"Sorry for not being around for so long," I manage to get out, feeling choked up, which I know is completely bollocks. Bad boy aren't supposed to fucking cry, but here I am on the brink of tears.
"I'm used to it. I do the heavy lifting; you show up and make Mum and Dad happy. We all have our roles."
"They can change, you know."
"Easy for you to say," he says.
"Is it?" I shake my head. "Because, fuck, Geoffrey, all I'm trying to do is come us with an actual way to change and it feels bloody impossible. I need to fucking grow up or I'll lose Claire."
"So you think you have her now?" he asks. "Because I know this is all some scheme you've hatched, that you aren't really engaged."
"I do love her. It started as a stupid plan to get the company." When Geoffrey starts to cut me off, I lift my hand to stop him. "I know, okay? I can't run a fucking company. But it doesn't matter when this became real. Claire needs a man who can fucking provide for her. What can I do?"
"I don't know what you can do. I'm trying to figure out my next move myself. And, don't worry, I won't tell Mum and Dad. The last thing they need is their hearts broken over you, too."
"I can't believe Dad's company is going under."
"I know," Geoffrey says. "It kills me. I thought I was saving the company, but instead my plan killed it. I feel like a fucking idiot. Of course Dad is never going to come right out and say that to me. But shit, Landon-you say you feel like a fuck up? Look at me. I'm the one who ran this business into the bloody ground. The luxury branches are doing the best-which has nothing to do with me-but it isn't enough."
"How long do you think you can keep the business afloat?"
"Six month, tops. Dad's just given up, which blows, because I really think we could salvage it. But he refuses to look in a new direction."
I smirk. "Yeah, well, have you told him how you feel? How you feel like you screwed up? Because right now all it sounds like is you two arguing, and it will cost you both the company."
"I know I need to talk with him ... but he gets so insistent about integrity and morals, and it gets to be a bloody headache."
I nod, knowing that Geoffrey has been dealing with Mum and Dad for years, and it isn't fair. That isn't how family works.
"I'm sorry for being an ass for so long," I tell him.
"I know you are, dipshit."
We don't hug it out; instead, we cough stoically and look back up the driveway.
"We should go back to the house," I say.
"Hey, speaking of houses. Maybe you can have Mum and Dad's place above the King's Diamond."
"What do you mean?" I frown, not understanding.
"Mum and Dad's place over their Vegas branch? You know about that right?"
"I have no fucking clue what you mean."
"They bought it for you, but you never wanted to work for Dad. Apparently that was part of the reason they built it, as a surprise in case you ever went to work for Dad."
"Well, that's a bloody waste. It's not going to do any good now, not if the company is getting consolidated."
"Fuck," Geoffrey snorts. "Shit. You're right. Sorry."
"I just wish there was a way to save it all," I say.
"Me too." Geoffrey kicks a pebble. When he looks up, he points behind me. "Look," he says. "Your posse."
All bundled up, Emmy and Ace, Fiona, Tess, and Claire walk toward us.
"Your parents kicked us out," Ace says, jumping on my back like a child. "They said there was a pub a quarter of a mile away. Let's go get wasted. We've had enough bullshit for one day."
I push him off my back, laughing. My eyes meet Geoffrey's, and he nods in agreement.
We've called a truce. Made silent amends.
And now we can go get properly sloshed.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Claire
The pub smells like grease and beer, and I smile, sliding onto a worn wooden bench in this hundred-year-old bar. I've wanted to hang out in a place like this my whole life. I'm going to insist Landon take me to another iconic English locale tomorrow.
"I can't believe we're hanging out in a bar in England. This is so not real life," Tess says, pulling down her V-neck top. "But there aren't any hotties besides the guys you brought."
"And they're all taken," Emmy says, sticking out her bottom lip before turning to me. "So why are you and Landon fighting?"
The guys have gone to the bar to get us drinks, and it's just us ladies-but Fiona is here, and I don't know how much I want her to know. Not that she'll learn about the fake engagement, considering even my friends don't know about that.
"He and I just don't see eye to eye on a lot of things ... and I wonder how that will play out in a marriage."
"Like what?" Tess asks. "I mean, I figured it was all roses and sunsets, considering it all happened so fast."
"Well it is roses and sunsets," I say, defensive. "It's just … complicated. I don't even know how to explain it."
I can't just say Landon loves me and I don't know if I love him back ... because that would mean admitting this is a farce. And I can't explain why I am scared of going all in with someone, and admit the other thing that is holding me back.
The thing I haven't even mentioned to Landon.
Holy crap, I need a drink.
"Relationships are crazy complicated," Emmy says, shaking her head just as the boys bring over pints of frothy beer.
"Whose relationship is crazy complicated?" Ace asks, after stealing a kiss from his wife.
"All relationships," Emmy says. "I mean, gosh, it's hard to sacrifice and share and play nice. Life is hard, that's all."
"I wouldn't know. You know, because I don't have a fiancé or a husband." Tess pouts.
"Awww, poor Tess," Ace teases. "Seriously, though, your man will come. Be patient. I mean, did anyone think Landon would be getting hitched in a week?"
"A week?" Tess shrieks. "What the hell are you talking about?"