Kimchi & Calamari(44)

“No, she’s not. You just don’t get it.” I shook my head, but for some strange reason, I suddenly felt a little better.

“Joseph’s right, Gina. We shouldn’t be mad at his birth mother. I’m glad she let Mommy and Daddy have him because otherwise he wouldn’t be in the same family. He wouldn’t be our brother.” Sophie flashed those big brown eyes of hers. She looked so innocent that I felt guilty for all the times I swore she was possessed.

Gina licked her fingers. “You’re wrong, Sophie. Joseph would always be our brother. It’s just his birth mother would be our mom.”

“Then who would Mommy be?” Sophie asked, totally confused.

“She’d be your hairdresser,” I said, fighting back a laugh.





The Three-Eyed Alien




We had a sub in English the next day who let us talk, but I was in no mood for chitchat. Especially with all the jabbering about who was going with who to the dumb dance. Like I cared about eating chicken wings in that stinky gym with a tie on. I mean, I was happy for Nash; Ok-hee had said yes. And her parents were okay with it too—in part because Nash was friends with me, so they figured he wasn’t a serial killer or anything. But hearing the rest of the eighth-grade lovebirds annoyed me. Then I overheard Jackie Tozzi say that Kelly was going to the Farewell Formal with Lewis Knight, and that did it. I finished my worksheet, got a pass, and escaped to the library.

“Hey, Joseph!”

I peeked in the gym as I passed, only to see Yongsu waving at me and bouncing a Hacky Sack next to Whitney Bailey. That was a surprise. We call her the Wordless Word Queen because she won the state spelling bee twice, but other than that she barely opens her mouth. Yet there she was, giggling away with Yongsu.

At least someone felt happy.

I walked to the back of the library and searched through the stacks of old Mad magazines. They usually cheer me up, even on the darkest day. Finally I found one from two years ago that I hadn’t read yet.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” a throaty voice growled from behind me.

I jumped, turned around, and nearly fell back into the shelves. A three-eyed alien glared at me!

Then a hand with half-moon fingernails pulled off the mask. “Gotcha!” Robyn laughed so hard she dropped her alligator mini-pack.

I stood up and shook my head. “Yeah, you got me” was all I could say. But then I cracked up, too. Why is it that getting scared-to-death actually feels hilarious afterward?

“Serves you right. Don’t you return phone calls?” she asked. She was wearing paper clip earrings and her hair was pulled back into a braid with loose strands sticking out the sides.

Whoops. I remembered Gina telling me about a phone call. “Sorry, I didn’t know it was you. And I went to sleep early.”

We stood there snatching glimpses of each other while pretending we were looking around the library. Robyn began saying something, stopped, and started again. A librarian wheeled a cart of books by. She noticed the mask in Robyn’s hand, and smiled.

“I was talking to your friend Pete Nash the other day. I didn’t know you read comic books. So do I.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

“Read ’em? I could be president of the Spidey Fan Club,” I said. “I know everything about Spider-Man, from which superhero he met on Christmas Day to Peter Parker and Mary Jane’s special love song.”

Robyn looked like she was about to burst. “He met The Human Torch and, duh, their song was ‘Kung Fu Fighting!’ Spider-Man rocks, but Storm’s my girl. She who controls the weather, controls the world.”

“I never knew that you liked comic books, Robyn.”

“I bet there’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”

Here was my chance. Yoda’s words echoed in my head: There is no try.

“Robyn, would you go to the Farewell Formal? With me, I mean?”

“I would, but—”

She stopped. Here we go again. Rejection City, two days straight. Maybe God was punishing me for saying I hated my birth mother.

“Don’t even say it Robyn. I understand.” Why not spare us both the painful details of her excuse.

“Say what?” She looked hurt.

“Whatever you’re going to say to let me down easy.” I tossed the Mad magazine back on the stack.

Robyn pouted her lips. Her face wasn’t as furious as the three-eyed alien’s, but it wasn’t warm and fuzzy, either.

“So you’re making up my mind for me? Is that how it works, Joseph?”

Now I felt like the president of Idiots-R-Us. “No, I misunderstood. I mean…what do you mean?”

“I was about to say I’ll go with you, but not because you’re funny. You are funny, but not funny looking. You’re kind of cute, if you must know.” She folded up the mask and stuck it in her mini-pack.