Justin nods. “He looks familiar,” he says. “Oh, wait, wasn’t he at Jack’s funeral?” I nod and take a drag. “Jenna, what’s wrong? Something feels off. A few minutes ago you were saying everything was going so well, and now you look like you’re ready to-“
“Release Kate?” I interrupt him.
He shakes his head. “I was going to say, ready to fall apart.”
I put out my cigarette. “I’m okay. Let’s go inside and mingle some more. I’m suddenly really tired.”
Justin shrugs and follows me in. The first thing I do is exchange my glass of sangria for Jameson, straight up. I proceed to return to some old habits and get dangerously drunk in the next hour. As the party winds down, I slowly feel relieved, just wanting the day to be over, and to be alone with whatever Drake came over to bring me. Everyone from Appleseed has to work that evening and so they leave early evening. Louisa and Joe take off just after the food is nearly gone, as Louisa has to make sure everyone is well fed. No one goes home hungry. Eventually it’s just Devin, Holly, Justin and me left. There isn’t much to clean up other than some trash and Devin and Holly and Justintake care of most of it. I contribute by draining all of the cups with alcohol left inside. Justin tries to get me to eat the small amount of food that’s still around to attempt to have me sober up. The truth is, I’m pretending to be much more drunk than I really am because I want to be by myself. I don’t want to break the news to Justin and tell him to go and he’s not getting the hint. I have a feeling I’m not going to get what I want.
Justin brings me to my room to go lie down. “I brought you something,” he tells me and I refrain from rolling my eyes. How many “presents” can a girl take in one day? He changes my attitude almost immediately when he pulls photographs of me from the first night we were together out of a yellow envelope. The ones where I am painted like a peacock and displayed nude on the covered chaise.
I breathe in and take a photo out of his hands. “Oh, wow,” is all I can say. I feel him sit behind me while I look at them and his lips are on my neck. I let him cup my face in his hand and run his other hand down my side and over my thigh, sending a shiver through me. I help him undo the button on my shorts and feel him slide his hand over me, his fingers slipping inside of me. He moves two fingers in and out of me gently and pushes me back so I am lying down on my bed with him beside me. As he hovers over me, he brings his hand up to his mouth and tastes me on his fingers. “Any good?” I ask him. In response, he brings my hand to the front of his jeans and I feel how hard it’s made him.
“What do you think?” he asks me. In response, I put my arms around his neck and bring him closer to kiss me. I can taste myself faintly on his lips and it arouses me even more. He moves my shirt up and over my breasts and pushes my bra out of the way and brings his face down to my nipples. He hasn’t shaved in a day or two and it scratches my skin when he is gentle, so I pull him toward me and he takes my nipple in his mouth and sucks hard. I gasp and fumble with his button and zipper on his jeans and push them down over his hips and he pushes himself inside of me instantly. We rock together and in a minute I’m coming and crying out and he is quick to follow, but quieter than I am, and I realize we aren’t the only ones home and I turn red with embarrassment.
“Oops,” I say. “I guess Devin is going to give both of us shit.”
Justin shrugs and rolls over to lie down next to me. “I have a feeling that he’s probably in his room with Holly doing the same thing.” I groan because that’s my brother, and it’s gross. Justin laughs. We lie still for a bit and then turn and kiss each other gently. He kisses my eyelids and I kiss his neck. He brings my hand down to feel how hard he is getting again. “See what you do to me?”
“I can feel it but right now all I see is you,” I tell him. I put my arms around him and lay on his chest and feel him breathe hard as I play with him. He is wet with my juices and my hand slides back and forth over him and soon I feel him come in my hand. “You’re a mess,” I say, and crouch over him and take him in my mouth to clean him up. He shudders as I take him all the way in my mouth, and then I lick my hand as seductively as it is possible to lick a hand.
“You’re a minx,” he tells me. “Where’d you learn to be such a dirty girl?”
“Movies,” I tell him. “The Internet. Life.” Confessing my secrets doesn’t embarrass me as it should. I feel like I can say these things to Justin. He knows my dark side.