Killing Kate(30)

Devin’s eyes light up. “You still have all of your musicals?” I nod, slyly. I have an ulterior motive. I happen to know that three of Devin’s weaknesses happen to be musical theater, my stove popped popcorn and passing out in front of the TV.

After we clean up dinner, Devin and Justin get to hooking everything up for our entertainment and I get to finding my popcorn pan. It’s the one kitchen tool I took with me from my apartment. In my room I find two boxes labeled “movies” and figure out which box is packed with my appropriate movies. I stash the other one away in my closet. I also take the time to find the lingerie that Kate was apparently able to locate for her little outing last night. Sure enough, in a box on the floor of my closet is the black lingerie Kate must have ditched before putting on a t-shirt and passing out. The box is full of everything I would rather Devin not find and know about his little sister, along with my second box of DVDs with less appropriate movies. I’ve never shared that box with anyone except Kate. I’d probably die if someone else knew what was in there.

I recall what Drake said on the phone and rifle through the box and find a pair of red lacy panties and a matching bra. The only reason I happen to keep this pair in my box of shame is because the panties are crotchless. I figure they are a nice middle ground between Jenna and Kate. Kate wears black bondage gear, Jenna wears no bra…red crotchless panties might just serve as a happy medium. I undress and put them on and put the same clothes back on over them. Devin and Justin will be none the wiser of my intention to get laid and actually remember it.

Justin runs to the store to get me popcorn and oil and when he gets back I show him how I make it. “You heat the oil up and put one kernel in. Set it around medium high heat. When the kernel pops you pour the rest in, turn the heat down, cover the pan and start shaking it around until the popping is done.”

“How do you know how much to pour in?” Justin asks me.

I shrug. “I just eyeball it. Enough to cover the bottom of the pan just barely is good for three people.”

He grins. “You’re a homemade popcorn genius.”

I laugh. “Just wait until you taste it.”

Once we have a huge bowl of fresh popcorn and more beer I bring out my musical DVD collection. We go through the process of pulling each one out and giving opinions on them.

“Sound of Music?”

“Too cheesy.”

“Brigadoon?”

“Fuck no. We’re not that drunk.”

“Annie?”

“Keep going.”

“How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying?”

“That’s just dumb.”

“Into the Woods?”

“I thought you had Fiddler on the Roof?” Justin interrupts. He doesn’t realize that Devin and I are basically playing a game.

“Oh, here it is!” I dramatically produce my copy of Fiddler and hold it up for the boys to see. I dim the lights and we settle in. Devin takes the armchair and Justin and I on the sofa. As planned, Devin passes out within thirty minutes, which is perfect. Justin, however, is still conscious and I weigh my options and consider drugging him. I’m also highly amused because he’s never seen the movie, and I have a great time watching him react to everything. He seems to really enjoy it. “You’re going to tell me you’re my long lost brother, right?” I say. “You seem to fit in with the Parkers really well.”

Justin laughs. “This is great,” he says. “Popcorn, a movie, good company.” He takes a long swig of his beer. “Jenna, I’m glad you and Devin are back in the neighborhood. I know I keep saying it, but I like being with you guys.”

“Thanks,” I say. “We, er, like you too.”

Justin rests his head against the back of the sofa and looks at me. His eyelashes are so long, I think. Then he leans in to kiss me. My eyes pop open for a second but his lips relax me and I fall into the kiss. It lasts a few seconds and Justin pulls away. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve kind of wanted to do that since the funeral.” He looks sheepish for a second. “I didn’t think it was a good time.”

“It’s okay,” I say. “Justin, I…I have to go.” I stand up and grab a few bottles to recycle, needing busy hands. I need a cigarette.

“Go where?” he asks me. “Did I just freak you out? Look, I’m really sorry.”

“No, you didn’t,” I say honestly. “I kissed you back, didn’t I? If I didn’t want it, you’d know by now. Right now I’m going through some shit and I need to figure out what’s going on.”