“I see.” He pulled some forms out of a drawer, picked up a ballpoint, and sat poised like he was getting ready to take a timed exam.
“Don’t you want to hear the details?”
He smiled placidly. The skin on the left side of his face was pulled tight and there appeared to be an indentation just inside his hairline. Perhaps that’s where he had been kicked in the head. “Before we get into the details, I need some background information on you.”
“What information? Melvin, you’ve known me all my life.”
“Name?”
“You already know that!”
Melvin was as persistent as a sweat fly in August.
“Name?”
“Oh, all right. Magdalena Yoder.”
“Middle name?”
“Won’t an initial do?” It’s bad enough that my mother named me after a packet of flower seeds. She could at least have nixed the Latin.
“Middle name?”
“Portulaca. But breathe that to a single soul and—”
“Age?”
“Thirty-nine.”
“Age?”
“Forty-three. But what does this have to do with my being shot at?”
“Sex?”
“Never! I mean it’s none of your business.”
“Sex?”
After Melvin had garnered all my personal statistics, except for my bra and shoe size (which are not the same, no matter what Freni says), he finally let me tell him about the incident.
“You don’t allow hunting on your land, do you?” he interrupted me at one point.
“Of course not.”
“Then that couldn’t have been a hunter on your land.”
“How’s that?”
Melvin was on a roll. “And you don’t know why anyone would want to kill you, do you?”
“To spare me these questions?”
He began to rub his hands together rhythmically. “If you don’t know why someone would want to kill you, then there probably wasn’t anyone trying to kill you. And we know it wasn’t a hunter. So, either you are mistaken about being shot at or you are lying to me, Magdalena, and just wasting my time.” He rolled his huge eyes into position and gazed up at me like a monstrous mantis. “And I know you don’t lie, Magdalena Yoder. Do you?”
“You forgot Portulaca.”
“Do you?”
There was no stopping such persistence. I decided to get out of there before he devoured me. “I don’t suppose you know the name of the hotel Chief Myers is staying at in Niagara Falls, do you?”
Melvin turned his head slowly to an impossible angle. Quite possibly he was trying to point with his chin. “The sign on this desk says ‘Melvin Stoltzfus.’ That’s me. I’m in charge while the Chiefs away. Got any more questions?”
“No, so in that case I guess I’ll just be going. Thanks for everything.”
The bulging blue-gray eyes seemed to have focused on me before his head had fully turned back into position. “It’s quite all right, Magdalena, but next time try not to let your imagination get the best of you.”
“Bull!” I said. That said it all.
Chapter 14
Susannah and Shnookums were in the kitchen when I returned. I didn’t actually see Shnookums, but since he is never a dog’s breath away from her, I knew he was there. Susannah, at least, appeared to be making toast and coffee.
“What’s the matter? Can’t sleep anymore?” I asked pleasantly enough.
Susannah rolled her eyes, which for her is a fairly tolerant gesture. “I am not the lazy thing you think I am, Mags. I’ve been up for at least forty-five minutes, doing my nails.”
A quick glance at the wall clock told me it was seven minutes till one. Just as I’d thought. Only sinners are capable of sleeping past noon.
“And besides which,” she continued, “I’m working right now. I’m making lunch for Her Highness.”
“What? Is Jeanette back already?”
“Not that Her Highness. Mrs. Ream.”
“Lydia came back already?”
Susannah opened the fridge and got out some cottage cheese and hard-boiled eggs. “She never left in the first place. Scared me to death when I saw her. I was coming downstairs for a Pepsi and Little Debbies when I ran into her on the stairs. We both nearly fell down those damned stairs and broke our necks we were so frightened.”
“Susannah!”
“Well, do you want to hear the juicy details, or what?”
I sold out my principles for the juicy details. “Do tell.”
Susannah talked while she fixed Lydia’s plate. “I asked Mrs. Ream why she was back already and she told me she’d never left. Said she hadn’t been feeling so well after breakfast, a stomach thing, and thought she should stick close to the house. She also said she’d started to feel a little better and had gone out for a short walk. Just to look at the barn and stuff. Only I don’t think that’s the whole truth.”