“Gross,” shuddered Linda.
Just then Shnookums, who had been hidden somewhere within Susannah’s billowing costume, began to yip pitifully. Of course nobody else there, with the exception of Billy Dee, had the slightest clue what was going on.
“You may be excused,” I said sharply to Susannah. “A little bicarbonate, and you should be as good as new by tomorrow.”
My glare must have been as withering as I had intended it to be, because Susannah got up and left without another word.
“Well?” Jeanette persisted.
“Pass me the tureen,” I said as calmly as I could. When it arrived, I examined and sampled its contents as objectively as I could. Frankly, the supposedly meatless dish was less tasty than the one that I knew contained chicken. This confirmed my belief that there was indeed a difference between the two dishes. On the other hand, there definitely were little golden bubbles of something floating in the broth and clinging to the dumplings and stewed vegetables.
“Well?” demanded Jeanette.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” said Joel. His face had taken on the same rutabaga green as Jeanette’s clothes.
“It’s probably just corn oil,” said Lydia soothingly. “Even Julia cooks with corn oil.”
I beamed at her. I didn’t know who Julia was, and I was sure Lydia had never seen the inside of a kitchen herself, but I was grateful for her help. Encouraged, I rang the little brass bell again.
Freni misunderstood and when she reappeared she was carrying an apple pie in each hand. I quickly took the pies from her. “Freni,” I kept my voice low, “didn’t you follow my instructions?”
Freni looked as if I had slapped her. “You told me to serve one with meat, and one without meat in it, Magdalena, and that’s exactly what you got.”
“There, you see!” I said triumphantly, turning to the others, who had undoubtedly heard our conversation anyway. “That tureen is entirely vegetarian.”
“Tastes good, too,” said Billy Dee, who had helped himself to a sample dumpling. “Mighty fine cooking.”
Freni beamed. “This vegetarian cooking isn’t so hard after all,” she confessed. “Just cook like regular, and then rinse off the stuff that you want to be vegetarian.” Joel immediately covered his mouth with his napkin and fled from the room.
Jeanette Parker uprooted herself from her chair and stood. I hadn’t realized how tall she was. From where I sat she seemed to tower over the table like a pale green monolith. “This is a breach of contract, Ms. Yoder,” she shouted. “When word gets out—and it will—of your duplicity in this matter, you can kiss your cozy little inn good-bye. And you,” she said, pointing a long and heavily ringed finger at Freni, “are a menace and disgrace to your profession. What were you trying to do, kill me with animal toxins?” She pushed her chair roughly aside and strode from the room.
“She didn’t really mean that,” said Linda softly, and scurried after her mentor.
“Don’t worry, Miss Yoder,” said Lydia Ream kindly. “You are under no obligation to meet the dietary needs of your guests. Just to supply them with ample food. Isn’t that right?” She turned to the two men on her side of the table for confirmation.
“Yes, dear,” said the Congressman, but it was obvious he didn’t want to get involved.
“Mrs. Ream is absolutely right,” said Delbert James a little more kindly.
That made me feel a bit better, but still I was fit to be tied. I had to take out my frustration on someone. “Freni,” I said through clenched teeth, “you’re fired.” Then quickly I recanted, lest Freni take me seriously. There were just too many guests to go it on my own.
But it was too late. “I quit anyway,” she snapped, before stomping from the room.
Now before you get too upset, I have to mention that Freni had already been fired more than once, and in fact she quits on the average of once every other week. Still, if I had been slower to anger that last day before deer-hunting season, there might not have been a corpse clutching Mama’s dresden plate quilt. Then again, there might well have been anyway.
Chapter 5: Freni Hostetler’s Chicken And Dumpling Recipe
Serves 8
2 chickens (year-old hens preferred)
1 ½ teaspoons salt
Dash black pepper 6 medium-size potatoes (quartered)
3 large carrots (sliced)
1 large onion (chopped)
4 tablespoons chopped parsley
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons baking powder
Dash ground nutmeg
3 eggs, beaten
½ cup cream
Clean and pluck the hens. Give head, entrails, and feet to barn cats. Do what you want with the liver, stomach, and gizzard. Cut the hens into serving pieces and put them into a large, cast-iron pot. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and cover with water. Cook slowly until almost tender. Then skim off excess fat and foam that has formed on top. Add vegetables and cook 20 minutes more. Then spoon dumpling batter on top of boiling broth and meat. Cover kettle tightly and cook 10 more minutes. Do not open the kettle until ready to serve.