Killer(18)

Kelsey didn’t take offence. She knew she’d fucked up big.

The glares from the other club members had followed her into the room.

Kelsey held her hand up for Sandy to finish cleaning out the glass. “Don’t worry about it, Tate. He deserves to be angry. I would be if he was married and been leading me on.”

“You’ve not been leading him on, Kels. For fuck’s sake, did he even ask for the truth about why you married him? This Michael person has a lot to answer for.” Tate paced her father’s office.

“For fuck’s sake, Tate. Get it through your thick fucking skull. She has been leading him on. Stop being her friend and see this how it is. Sorry, honey, but it’s the fucking truth.”

“I know. There’s nothing I can say to make up for my actions.”

She stared at Sandy. The other woman kept staring at her. Smiling, she tried her hardest to make it reach her eyes.

“Are you okay?” Sandy asked, reluctantly.

“I’m fine.”

Inside she was breaking apart and cursing herself. There was so much she should have done. From the first kiss she should have told Killer the truth. She never felt married but on a piece of paper. Michael meant nothing to her nor did the marriage. He wasn’t faithful to her. She couldn’t stop thinking about all the pain she’d kept at bay over the years. The name calling, the hurtful laughter that filled her thoughts threatened to have her break down in front of these women.

“Do you have any news about the lawyer? I’d really like to talk with him,” Kelsey said, changing the discussion.

“He’s looking into the prenuptial agreement and also seeing if he can find any news out about Michael without being noticed. Uncle Alex is also seeing what he can find out while he’s away in Vegas. We’ve got this, honey. You’ll be divorced in no time and fancy-free.”

Kelsey laughed. The noise sounded forced to her. Sandy sat back, looking her in the eye. The other woman still worked at the local hospital but not as much as she used to. Most of her days were spent at the clubhouse or with Stink, another club name.

“I’m worried about you, Kelsey,” Sandy said.

“Nothing to be worried about. Killer knocked over my ornament, and I cut myself cleaning up.”

“I’m not talking about the cut. You look sad, really sad.”

“My husband has come out of the woodwork and is threatening me if I divorce him. I’ve not got much to be smiling about at the moment.”

“You’re fat, ugly and useless. Who will want you? You’re just a waste of time. Why didn’t you die when you were born?”

Words her mother said when she was first down came back to haunt her. When her father was away, her mother took great pride in making her feel less than what she was.

“I don’t know if I want you to be alone right now.” Sandy pulled the gloves off her hands. “You’re going through a lot at the moment.”

“I’m fine, Sandy. I’ve been through a lot worse. I promise you, I’m fine.” How many times would she have to say “I’m fine”, before people started to believe her?

Sandy kept staring at her. “Okay, I’ll leave it for now, but I want you to call me the moment you change your mind and need to talk to someone.” The other woman stood, gathered her things and left. Tate stayed in the room. Angel had gone to deal with Lash and their son.

“What’s going on, Kels? Sandy doesn’t worry for nothing.”

Rubbing her temple, Kelsey looked past the woman’s shoulder. She wanted some peace and quiet, and at the moment she couldn’t get either. Between Tate, Michael, and Killer, she was exhausted.

“I don’t know why she’s worried. I’m perfectly fine. I’m just tired. It has been a long few days.”

“Killer won’t hurt you. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a dangerous man.”

Kelsey smiled. “I know he won’t hurt me. He was angry, and he didn’t hurt me. This was my own fault. I should have told him the truth and not kept it a secret. Everything that is happening is my own fault. No one is to blame but me. I did this.” Standing up, she was ready to leave the clubhouse. “Is it okay if I go?”

“See Simon before you do.” Tate offered her a shirt. “Quickly put this on. I love you, but getting your blood over my son is not something I want to remember.”

Tugging the stained shirt, Kelsey quickly put the red one Tate offered. The shirt was tight over her fat body. When she got home, she’d take it off and wash it.

They exited the office, and Kelsey followed Tate toward the bar. Killer was holding Simon in his large arms. She stared into his eyes seeing the worry reflected back at her. Dropping her gaze, she waited for Tate to handle the conversation.