Joy and Lee were teachers and founders of the Corn Island Storytelling Festival, but they also traveled the world and made documentaries. Joy always seemed blessed with good health, so none of us had any idea anything was wrong until she cracked a bone in her hip. After a while, when the bone didn't heal properly, the doctor ordered X-rays, which showed suspicious spots. The doctor then ordered Joy in for extensive tests.
It was a late October afternoon when Roberta's phone rang. She was surprised to hear Joy's voice because Lee and Joy were supposed to be at the doctor's office getting Joy's test results. Roberta looked at the clock and realized they were probably home by now. That wasn't the case. Actually, they were on their way home.
“Roberta, I need a favor,” Joy said.
“Sure,” said Roberta. “What do you need?”
There was a tone in Joy's voice that Roberta had not heard before. But she didn't dream of what she was about to hear.
“I have to go on full oxygen,” Joy said in that same tone. “They are on their way to our house to set it up now, but Lee and I are stuck in traffic. They may get to the house before we do, so could you watch for them and let them in with your key if they get there first?”
“Absolutely,” Roberta said. “But why do you need oxygen?”
“I have stage four cancer,” Joy said in a steady voice. “It's in my bones, lungs, brain, sinus cavity—just everywhere.”
“Joy, it must be a mistake,” said Roberta, not really believing what she had just heard. “You are never sick!”
“It's not a mistake,” she said in that same steady voice. “I've seen the X-rays and all the results. They give me two months to live.”
Roberta wanted to scream and cry, but she knew what that tone in Joy's voice meant. No crying and no pity. Roberta's heart was crying, though, and she was thinking that Joy's time couldn't possibly be that short. She wanted much more time with her friend.
Joy said that she and Lee were going to discuss how to proceed, but she ultimately decided that she would stay at home and refused chemo and radiation. She agreed to take pain medication, but only enough to make the pain bearable. She wanted to be alert and functioning until the end.
Joy's first rule was that no teary people were allowed to come and visit. That eliminated a lot of friends, because most of them broke down and cried. Of course, she had to limit visitors because she got tired easily, too. Hospice (or Hosparus, as it is now called in Louisville) came to provide care to Joy and to help Lee. Lee considered it an honor to be Joy's main caregiver, and he made sure that Joy got everything she wanted. No caregiver ever did a better job than Lee did for Joy!
Lee and Joy had no family in Louisville. Hosparus was a great help, but there were times when their volunteers weren't available and Lee had to run errands. Lonnie and Roberta cleared their calendars and made themselves available any time day or night if Lee needed someone to sit with Joy. It wasn't a noble gesture or sacrifice on their part. They saw it as a second chance to pay all those visits they had meant to have but had put off until another time. Now time was running out.
The first time Lee called, Roberta was happy to go over, but she knew if she wanted time with Joy, she would have to do things Joy's way. As she walked across the street, she kept telling herself that she could not cry! She thought that being with her dying friend would be so sad and heartbreaking that she would have to go home and bawl her eyes out. But Roberta was wrong.
This visit and the ones to follow turned out to be the most uplifting times of Roberta's life. Lonnie felt the same about the times he went to spend time with Joy. Amazingly, these visits felt completely natural. The friends talked and laughed and remembered things they had shared.
Even though she had no need to economize, Joy still clipped coupons and sent Lee to get dinner for themselves and Lonnie and Roberta. She had her hairdresser and her manicurist come to the house and fix her hair and nails, and she sent Lee shopping for makeup.
She looked so healthy that at one point Roberta said, “Joy, you look so good—do you think they could have made a mistake?”
She said, “No, Roberta. It's going to happen.”
Joy was never in denial and sometimes wanted to talk about her cancer. These talks, however, were never morbid. Once Joy wondered aloud what the cancer was doing inside of her.
“Can you feel it?” Roberta asked.
“No,” said Joy. “I don't feel anything.”
She never asked that her life be extended for her own sake. And when her predicted time to die came in December, she felt fine.
Joy said to Roberta, “I hope I can live long enough to show Lee how to do the taxes.”