To protect those we love, we'd do anything, regardless of the consequences.
"There were stubborn people though, people who didn't want to pay back what they owed," Kane said, then swallowed. "I had to hurt them in a different way."
He stopped talking and I decided I didn't need to know what way he meant. I could imagine the horrible things and I didn't even fully know the extent of what he was forced to do, so I didn't need a detailed description.
I then jumped to a question that was boggling my mind. "Why were you punished if you did your job? That doesn't make sense to me."
"Because I didn't always do it."
He didn't?
"Why not?"
Kane looked at me, his eyes empty. "Because I hated every single second of it. I hated hurting people. I hated it."
"Okay, baby," I breathed and moved closer, hoping I offered some comfort to him. "I know you wouldn't do any of what you told me out of your own free will."
Kane's eyes went dark, and the muscles in his jaw tensed.
"I do it out of free will now, but only if they're scum."
I blinked when he said that. He didn't have to hurt people, yet he did it anyway, but this time they were bad people? To me, that sounded like he was trying to make up for all the bad he had done by trying to right a wrong in the only way he knew how.
I placed my hands on Kane's tense face and forced him to look at me. "You do not need to do anythin'. You don't need to hurt bad people to make up for hurting any innocent people. You've paid your debt. You don't need to burden yourself with it anymore."
"I just wanted to prove to myself that I'm not the monster everyone thinks I am," he whispered. "If I stop even one scumbag, it'll be enough."
Oh, Kane.
"You did, honey," I murmured as tears welled in my eyes. "You helped stop Marco. He was a horrible human being, and you stopped him. Who knows how much hurt, and how many lives, you saved by doin' that?"
Kane blinked up at me. "I-I never considered that."
I pressed my forehead against his. "You're free from those evil people. Your past doesn't make you who you are. All the horrible things you were forced to do doesn't reflect your character. You know you're a good man, and so does everyone else."
"You really believe that?" he murmured as he looked at me with his ocean blue eyes.
I nodded my head and said, "I do."
He swallowed and licked his lips. "Hearing that... it means everything."
"Bad things happen to good people every day, Kane," I assured him. "You just got caught up in somethin' you had no control over."
He wrapped his arms around me. "I love you so much, Aideen. I'm sorry for anything I've ever said or done that has hurt you."
That admission caused the tears in my eyes to fall.
"Do you really love me?"
"More than anything in this world," Kane instantly replied. "You're everything to me."
My lower lip trembled. "I'm nothin' to fuss over, Kane."
"You haven't seen yourself through my eyes. You're definitely something to fuss over, babydoll. Trust me."
I did.
I trusted Kane.
"I do," I whispered, "with me life."
He closed his eyes. "I need to tell you everything inside my head so you get a clear picture of how much I need you in my life. By my side."
He didn't have to, I had already known.
"Kane-"
"When we don't speak, I don't sleep. I'm a mess without you, and I'm not afraid of admitting it. I am afraid that if you don't come back to me that I'll exist just always feeling this empty inside."
"Kane."
His grip on me tightened. "I'll do whatever you want, I swear it."
I knew he would.
"I still believe in us, babydoll, and I hope you do too."
His words hit me harder than I'll ever admit.
"I know damn well that you can do a million times better than me, and you deserve that, Aideen. You deserve everything the world has to offer you, but I'm a selfish bastard who wants you for nothing more than his own happiness."
"Babe," I whispered as my heart pounded against my chest.
He lifted his hand to my face and brushed his thumb over my lips. "I'll spend every day showing you how much I love and adore you, babydoll. You can trust me with your heart. I can't give you a lot of things, but I'll be damned if I can't give you your happily ever after."
Oh, my God.
"What we have, babydoll... it's better than words."
He was my undoing.
"I love you, too," I breathed.
Kane froze. "I didn't say all that to make you feel like you had to say it back-"
"I'm sayin' it because love is exactly what I feel for you. It's been growing for like weeks and weeks now. I was just afraid to admit it to myself. I want to be with you. I swear I do."
Kane blinked a couple of times then showcased his perfect smile. "A relationship without a title, like before?"
"No," I replied, happily.
Kane raised an eyebrow so I said, "Skull... he was me Mr. Almost, but you? You're what I like to call me Mr. Pain In The Arse and that translates to me Mr. Right."
He blinked his eyes. "So... we're really dating?"
Men.
"Yes," I giggled, "we're really datin'. We're officially boyfriend and girlfriend."
Kane smiled. "Yay."
I felt my mouth drop open. "You should never say ‘yay'. You're big, scary, and manly to the core. Big scary men do not say ‘yay'."
Kane's eyes gleamed and he leaned into me and whispered, "This one does."
Okay, so big, scary, and manly men to the core could say ‘yay' and make it work, or at least my man could.
"Miss Collins?"
I closed my eyes as I wrote up homework for my class on the blackboard. School was out in five minutes, and hearing ‘Miss Collins' was something I could have desperately done without. I was tired, cranky, and hungry. I just wanted to go home and be with Kane.
Who knew admitting you love someone could make you want to be around them twenty-four-fucking-seven?
Not me, that's for sure. My sudden clinginess to Kane was embarrassing, but I couldn't help it. We said those three important words just one week ago and I felt like I needed to be with him all the time because my heart hurt when I wasn't. I didn't know if this was love in general or if my hormones multiplied it by infinity. Whatever it was, it turned me into a complete lovesick puppy.
"Yes?" I replied sweetly to the darling who called out my name.
"Your belly is rubbin' off the writin' on the bottom of the blackboard."
The giggles that followed that statement caused my eye to twitch.
I looked down and groaned when I saw my pregnant belly did, in fact, rub off the writing on the lower half of the chalkboard. It made me a little teary because I had to bend down when I fucking wrote it!
"I'm not rewritin' it," I announced. "No homework tonight. Consider yourselves lucky."
The cheers that filled my classroom made me laugh. I turned to face my class and smiled at them. They were a good group of kids, and I loved teaching them.
"You can all pack up, and line up by the door. The bell will ring in a few minutes."
The talking that quickly ensued was so loud it gave me an instant headache.
"Pack up quietly, please," I said loudly, a stern look in place on my face.
This hushed everyone up, and my head was grateful for it.
"Miss Collins?"
I looked at Niamh, a blonde girl who sat in the front row of my class, when she spoke. "Yeah, darlin'?" I asked, smiling at her.
She was so cute that I wanted to squeeze her cheeks.
She nodded to my stomach. "Are you excited to have your baby?"
Some of my male students groaned and it caused me to giggle. The girls in my class loved talking about my baby and asking all kinds of questions about pregnancy. A few weeks ago the boys got fed up with it and zoned out whenever the girls asked me about being pregnant. They used the time to close their eyes or stare off into space.
I found it hilarious.
"I'm very excited."
Niamh smiled at me. "I bet. Me ma is havin' a baby too and I'm super excited."
I beamed. "That is brilliant, you're goin' to be a great big sister."
"Thanks," Niamh blushed. "I can't wait to help me ma take care of the baby. She said I have a huge job to help her because me daddy got a new job and he has to work hard so we can buy new things for the baby."
At that moment, my love for Kane grew even more. He took away my worries about money-he also gave me precious time that could be spent as a family. If I had to worry about money, or a babysitter so I could work, I didn't know how I would I have coped.
"You're a very good girl for helpin' your ma, and you're goin' to have so much fun with your new brother or sister. You'll be the one to teach him or her all the fun things." I winked.
Niamh giggled, and so did her friends.
I could only imagine what ‘fun things' they thought of.
A few seconds later the bell indicating school was over rang loud. It did nothing for my sore head, but it did relieve me knowing I could go home and stay there for the day.