Kane(117)

 

“What?” I repeated, again.

 

Kane closed the remaining distance between us. “I. Love. You.”

 

Fuck, Bronagh was right.

 

That was the only thing I could think of during Kane’s declaration of love for me.

 

“I can’t deal with this,” I eventually said.

 

Kane didn’t move. “What are you saying?”

 

“I’m sayin’ that was the wrong moment to tell me you love me. You shouldn’t have said it.”

 

“I shouldn’t have said it? It’s what I’m feeling.”

 

I swallowed. “You harm people, Kane.”

 

“Bad people, Aideen. We’re talking about the scum of the earth here.”

 

I shook my head. “I don’t care. It doesn’t justify what you do.”

 

Kane turned and began to pace up and down the hallway.

 

“You own apartments, a real-estate agency. You have more money than you need. Why do you continue to... freelance?”

 

He had his back to me when he stopped moving. I saw the muscles in his back tense as I asked my question.

 

“I donate all the money I get from freelancing to different charities. I don’t do it for the money. It was never about money.”

 

I closed my eyes. “Then why do you do it?”

 

“Because I have to.”

 

“Why?”

 

He turned to face me, a sadistic smirk on his face.

 

“Don’t dare look at me like that. Don’t think being cold and mean is going to get you out of this conversation.”

 

“Cold and mean,” Kane repeated then humourlessly laughed. “That pretty much describes what people think of me. One look at me and they’re scared. Are you scared of me, babydoll?”

 

Only of the way you make me feel.

 

“A puppy has more chance of scarin’ me than you do, Slater,” I deadpanned.

 

A smile lit up Kane’s face, but only for a moment before his sullen look took over once more. “Everyone is scared of me. They think I’m a monster, and you know what? Maybe I am. I didn’t get this way by being an angel, that’s for damn sure.”

 

I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

 

“Good,” Kane replied. “I don’t want you to understand me.”

 

“Well, I want to!” I shouted. “I want to know you.”

 

That admission shocked me as well as Kane.

 

He shook his head. “If you get answers to the questions on your mind you will leave me. You won’t let me get within five feet of you and our baby. I know you won’t.”

 

I swallowed. “Sweetheart, if you tell me what I need to know nothin’ will happen. I’m not goin’ to leave you.”

 

Kane blinked his eyes. “Everybody leaves me, Aideen. Everybody.”

 

What?

 

“Who has left you?” I asked, my hands trembling.

 

“You want the list?” Kane snorted. “My parents—they left me long before they died because they were shitty fucking people. My brothers mean everything to me, but they don’t have the time of day for me anymore since their girls came into the picture. Damien up and left and went back to the States four years ago and hasn’t been back since. When you aren’t with me, I’m on my own. Everybody leaves, even if they don’t mean to.”

 

I was surprised when hot tears filled my eyes. “You should let your brothers know how you feel. You know they would re-evaluate everything they do if they thought for a second you felt alone and pushed aside by them.”

 

Kane shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

 

“Don’t lie to me,” I stated. “You’re not fine, and you need to talk to your family about this.”

 

“I am,” he murmured. “I’m talking to you.”

 

He considered me his family?

 

“Kane,” I whispered.

 

He shook his head. “Enough with the heavy emotional bullshit, let’s talk about something else.”

 

I glared at him. “No, the heavy emotional bullshit needs to be discussed.”

 

Kane blinked. “Please, babydoll. I don’t want to lose you too and a conversation about my heavy shit will make that happen.”

 

I stood my ground. “Talk about your heavy shit or I will leave you.”

 

I didn’t like saying that, but I had too.

 

Kane stared at me for a long moment. “You won’t be mine anymore once you know the things I have done. I know you won’t.”

 

I placed my hand in his. “Me and you?”