KING: Las Vegas Bad Boys(58)

“You don’t have any idea about the real world, Landon. You grew up in a freaking castle. Your parents are bankrupt, but not from credit card debt ... we’re talking a billion-dollar company. The kind of bankrupt that lets you keep the house.”

“And the yacht.” Landon smirks at the absurdity of the situation.

“Of course you have a yacht.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t have a pulse on the real world. I just mean you keep mentioning how hard life is, how torn you feel all the time, and I think a lot of people can relate to that. I know I can.”

“How do you feel torn?” I ask him, as he lifts my blouse over my head.

“I’m torn in million fucking ways. Are you kidding me?” He wraps his arms around me, and I sink into him, exhaling as my cheek rests against his chest.

“But how?” I ask. “Like, how are you torn? And I’m not talking about deciding if your burger at In-N-Out should be Animal Style or not. I mean legit things. Grown-up things.”

“You’re kinda killing the mood here, Claire,” he says, unhooking my bra from the back.

“We’ll round back there, I’m sure,” I say, looking up at him as my lacy bra falls to the ground. Being naked with Landon doesn’t feel exposed. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. “Right now I’m just trying to figure out what has your balls in a wad.”

Landon laughs. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so crass, Claire.”

“Shut up,” I pout, smacking him on the chest lightly. “Answer. For reals, Landon. What are you so torn up about? I mean, I know there are things you are upset over–like The King’s Diamond going under, and Geoffrey being such a prick. But neither of those things worried you before this afternoon.”

“Before this afternoon?” He runs his hands over my shoulders, looking directly at me. Seeing me. “I worried about ever getting my act together. About waking up in ten years and having nothing to show for my life. I worried that the sum of my existence would be my disposable income. So yeah, I act tough with the guys, but deep down everyone worries about not being enough. I’m no different.”

The mood in the room has shifted. And now Landon is sad, maybe sadder, and I feel deflated. But also, I don’t believe him. I don’t think anyone could feel like I do inside.

“You may feel like your life has torn you up, Claire,” he continues. “But you’re actually luckier than the rest of us. You have a daughter who you love and who loves you. You have the sort of love everyone craves. And you don’t even see what you have.”

Everything Landon says surprises me. I thought he was this typical alpha-male, a bad boy with bravado, but he is so much more than that.

He may like to sleep with women, but he also has a heart.

And he’s sharing that with me.

“I know that Sophia is a gift,” I tell him. “I know I’m lucky to be her mother. I want to be her mother. But Landon, it’s different. My choices are already made for me. Now I feel like I don’t have any say in my life. It’s like ... my life is always going to be me needing my mom, me piecing together things for Sophia. I just—I just wanted more. For all of us.”

“Fuck that, Claire.” Landon’s hands grip my shoulders, steadying me, but also not allowing me space to retreat—which, right now, is exactly what I want to do.

“Don’t talk like that to me,” I tell him, tears pricking my eyes.

“Well, then, don’t say shit that isn’t true,” he says. “I don’t know what happened to make you a victim but, Claire, you have an entire life to live. You can make any choice you want to. Any day.”

“No, you can, Landon. You hold all the cards. I hold ... nothing.”

“Then hold onto me. Let me carry you.”

“Don’t. You don’t mean it.” I pull in my lips, scared of his eyes, looking at me like he knows me. Like he knows my deepest fears, my biggest dreams. Feeling like he sees all of that–and then realizing he does.

Landon does know me.

“I mean it, Claire. Try and trust me.”

I’m fighting something I want.

And maybe Landon is giving me the greatest gift by telling me I can stop. Stop saying no.

“I don’t know if I can let you carry me forever. But tonight, yes. Tonight I’ll go anywhere you take me.”

“Well, fuck, woman—that’s better than what you gave me a few weeks ago,” he says, a smile spreading across his lips.

I shake my head, not understanding.

“The night of Ace and Emmy’s wedding, I asked for a night,” Landon explains. “But you were only willing to offer me an hour. This is a step in the right direction.”