“I know we do, darling, it’s just … it’s not fair the way he thi—”
I cut her off. “I’m here because it’s a family summit,” I tell her, seething, unable to restrain my feelings. “Because I’m trying not to be such an asshole like I’ve been my entire life. Because I wanted you to meet Claire, and because I want to make Mum and Dad happy, okay?” I shout. “So enough with calling me out for being a money-grabber. For being nitwit. For being a prick. We all know what I have been, but maybe for a moment, we could think of what I might be.”
The room is quiet. I don’t think I’ve ever given a speech quite like that in my life, and the only problem is I now need to dissect it to see what parts were real and what parts were false … and what parts became true halfway through.
“So then, what might you be?” Geoffrey asks.
His question stumps me for a moment. I can’t say I might be the owner of The King’s Diamond, because that’s what he’s just accused me of wanting. Which it is.
And because what I want more—much more—is for my parents to be proud of me. For my brother to think I’m more than my sum. And maybe ... just maybe ... I want Claire to think that of me, too. The company just seems the only logical way for me to get everything I want.
“Maybe I could be a man everyone here is proud to know.”
Chapter Nineteen
Claire
His speech brings tears to my eyes.
He wants us to see him as someone we are proud to know.
I’m proud to know him. Beyond proud.
But I’m not very proud of myself.
For the way I’ve been to my friends. For the secrets and the lies.
I can’t tell them everything, just like I haven’t told Landon everything ... but they need to know about Sophia.
After the fight, we go our separate ways, and I pull Landon aside to speak with him privately. We find an empty den at the end of the hall, and close the door.
“Your speech was so amazing, Landon, and it made me realize that I need to tell Emmy and Tess the truth.”
“I agree; you should do that.” He pauses, his brows furrowed. “And ... you liked my speech even though it was full of lies?”
“Was it?” I ask, because I think that on the surface he’s been saying he wants to trick the family into getting the company... but deep down I see the truth in his words.
That this isn’t about the money, because Landon isn’t a money-grabber at all. If he were, he wouldn’t be playing blackjack, that’s for sure. Blackjack players aren’t in it for big wins, they’re in it for fun. Poker and craps—now those players are looking for a jackpot. But not blackjack. Not Landon.
He came to his family estate to prove something. And I think he brought me because he was scared to do that alone.
At least, that’s what I’m telling myself … maybe foolishly.
“I think you’re the only person who can see through me,” he says. “Through my bullshit.”
I step toward him, letting my heart flutter in anticipation. Wanting another kiss, wanting him to pull me close. Knowing that kisses lead to sex … and sex with him makes me forget everything else. Which is what I want.
I’m not ready for reality. For real life. I want to stay in this make-believe place a little longer.
“Claire, I do want my father’s company. I didn’t say it in my speech because that’s what Geoffrey was droning on and on about ... but I want my dad to give it to me. I need him to.”
“Really?” I ask. “I guess I thought this might be about more than beating your brother.”
“Well, maybe in some ways it is about more than that. But you and I both know I need to fucking grow up. I can do that. I can be the guy who’s responsible and has his shit together.”
“Landon, I’m not asking you to be anything. Not for me.”
“So you don’t want me to be that guy? For you?”
“I don’t know what I want.”
I take a step back; suddenly feeling like this is all happening too fast. The idea of him and me is fun in theory … but the reality?
I just feel like if I gave in to that–gave in to him–it would end with me heartbroken.
“Are you trying to prove something to me?” I ask him. “That you can be man enough? Because I’m not asking you to be my man. To be my anything.”
“Shit, Claire. You are seriously fucking with my mind. I thought you and I were more than—”
“More than a job? You don’t even know me,” I tell him, my words blunt but true. “You have no idea what a life with me would be like. You are in no place to commit.”