“Fuck, you are perfectly right.”
“Well, I’m a mom. I know things.”
“Can I ask you something?”
Claire gives me a sidelong glance. “Is it going to upset me?”
“Why, you only like it when people ask you easy questions?”
She moans. “Just ask me, Landon. We both know you’re going to regardless.”
“Okay,” I smile, enjoying how close she and I have become, and feeling like asking this question isn’t totally out of bounds. “Who is Sophia’s father?”
She sighs, closes her eyes.
“Sorry,” I say immediately. “That was inappropriate.”
“No, it’s not. You’ve put up with my secrets. My dishonesty,” she says, picking at lint on her sweater that doesn’t exist. “I just really, really don’t like talking about it.”
“Is he in the picture anymore?” I want to know. I need to know. Because I am falling for her, so hard. And, at the moment, I don’t really know her real story.
“No,” she says adamantly. “Not even a little.” Her eyes fill with tears, and I know this subject is getting really personal, really quick. But isn’t everything between us getting really personal, really quick?
“Okay,” I say slowly, nodding. “I don’t need the torrid details. I just wanted to know if you were single.”
She laughs, wiping her tears. “Landon, before you, I hadn’t slept with anyone in five years. Since Sophia’s dad and I ... so, no. There is no other guy.”
“That is a bloody long time not to shag.”
“Don’t,” she says, warily.
“Don’t what?”
“Use words like shag. What is this, Austin Powers circa 1996?”
“So I can’t use the word shag, but can we? Do the actual shagging?” I roll her on top of me, and I know by the dreamy look in her eyes that she’s game.
“I thought we had to dress for dinner? Suits and heels, et cetera. I don’t think those jeans and this sweater are going to cut it.”
“They won’t. We do have to dress for dinner,” I tell her, stealing a kiss on her neck, her ear, her mouth. “But we have to undress first.”
“You’re brilliant, you know that? But I need to shower first.”
“Even better.”
Chapter Eighteen
Claire
It doesn’t take long for us to move from the bed to the en suite bathroom. He strips and I rip off my top and bottoms and we cross the carpeted floor. He turns on the water in the two-person shower, and we step inside.
“I’ve never had so much sex in my life, just so you know,” I tell him, as water from the double showerhead pours over me.
“I think we are all pretty clear on the how-little-Claire-has-had-sex front.” Landon wraps an arm around my waist. “We have a lot of years to make up for.”
My hands press against his hard chest, and damn, it really is solid. His body is exquisite. His muscles are ripped, his shoulders straight and strong. Everything about him declares his power, his control, his absolute sex appeal.
“You’re so hot, Landon. Like, I knew it the first time I saw you naked in the hotel ... but I swear, every time I look at you there’s another muscle in your arms, another dimple in your cheek, another color in your irises. You just get sexier by the minute. It isn’t fair.”
I kiss his mouth, hard. The warm water covers my back, drawing us closer together as our slick bodies melt into one another.
“Don’t even with me,” he says, smoothing back my wet hair. “I called you a bird before, but the truth is they don’t have the right wings. You are an angel. Something divine. Something from heaven.”
“You believe in God?”
“I believe in love.”
“Don’t,” I say not wanting to get to the L-word territory. It will complicate things at a whole new level. “Don’t. Let’s just ... be.” And I kiss him again, not wanting anything more to be said, words that aren’t true, because they can’t be. We’ve known one another intimately for a few weeks, since the night of Emmy and Ace’s wedding.
It can’t be love.
I feel his hardness press against me, and it ignites my desire to be close to him, to be covered by him. To escape with him.
And in that moment, as I drop to my knees in the shower, I understand why someone might lead a shallow life. I can see the appeal. Because going to the deep end of the water, where things can sink to the bottom, is terrifying. The shallow end lets us breathe when we might otherwise drown.
It’s not somewhere you can stay forever, because eventually you have to learn to swim ... but learning to swim without anyone helping is frightening.