KEPT_ A Second Chance Fairy Tale(57)

“Let me feel you.”

But it is.

“Don’t fucking leave me.”

We both know it.

“Let me have you, Lucy.”

I surrender.

“This doesn’t change anything.” I give him permission, but not leaving anything open to interpretation.

I close my eyes and brace for what’s to come. This is the last time I’ll claim Michael as mine. Every moment with him has created a framed memory. Every whisper, touch, laugh, and word… I’ll have those even when I won’t have this.

Michael makes fast work of removing my clothes, first my jeans, then my shirt. I’m lying naked under him as he grabs his shirt from behind and lifts it off in one quick effort. My mind memorizes his face and body, mentally calculating how long it’ll take to forget what being with him feels like.

I want to forget.

I don’t want to forget.

The power of these recollections will ruin me for all others. I know this, and he must, as well.

“Your sadness is suffocating me,” he says quietly, positioning himself outside of me, but not pushing forward. “I can’t breathe.”

With my hands on his face, I hold his gaze as he finally surrenders to what I already have.

Goodbye.

Michael’s body begins to rock in and out with fevered movement. Nothing of this is graceful. He’s taking what he’ll need to remember. His hands explore my body, each calculated push of skin and pull of flesh imprinting itself within me.

This is going to hurt us both.

It’s not only the sadness which is so suffocating, but the devastation, as well.

“I love you, Lucy,” he murmurs in my ear, pulling out and sliding back in. “This isn’t over.”

It is.

With labored breath, he forces out, “You love me.”

It’s too late.

“Say it,” he seethes, grabbing my hair by the nape of the neck and pulling with the skill and determination I’ve come to crave.

The gesture sends shivers down my spine as the tension in my legs starts to burn. My stomach warms and my core tightens, sensing my body’s close release.

“Michael,” I cry as it hits me first, him following only seconds after.

“No,” he denies, then shudders, pushing inside for the last time, holding me captive beneath him.

Moments pass with his face resting against my neck. My arms have yet to release him, and his body has yet to try to break free. Knowing the sound of our breaths mingling is our last, I remember another place and time when we were together without the threat of others, both alive and dead.

The room quiets, the frustration ebbs, leaving only our breaking hearts to be lost in serenade.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he mutters with no small degree of despair.

I don’t have anything left inside to help him. And after all that’s happened between us, it’s not my place to help find what he’s lost because it’s me. I’m what he’s lost.

But I’m not walking away so unscathed by heartbreak, either.





Michael

IT’S BEEN ALMOST THREE HOURS since Lucy left my apartment, but I haven’t moved from the floor where she had laid beneath me. I fear if I move, I’ll forget the look on her face as I came inside her for what seems to be the last time.

I don’t think I want to know you anymore.

Although our bodies were connected in the most carnal of ways, I knew our hearts were no longer. Instead, we were each feeding our own hunger in reaching for what we once had. But with all the damage between us, there was nothing to be found. Everything was already empty.

I don’t know why Lucy let me have her again after already deciding we were done. Maybe it was her way of settling whatever score she deemed needed to be settled. To hurt me as I’d hurt her.

Make me forget.

Lillie arrived about an hour after Lucy left. When she knocked, I thought about not letting her in. The alcohol I’d drank earlier had worn off, leaving me sober in all ways.

“Corbin’s worried, too,” Lillie informs me while continuing to straighten my living room, picking up the remnants of the tuxedo I wore Saturday night.

“Did you come all the way over here to clean?” I question tersely.

Lillie turns, setting down the empty bottle of scotch, and finally makes her way to me.

Looking down with so much despair, she says, “There are things you can do other than sit here and mourn.”

I remember those same words weeks after my son had passed. Back then, Caleb’s death had nearly delivered mine. Judging by Lillie’s repetitive statement, I must look the same to her now as I did then. It’s the same strike of heartache, but worse. Lucy’s alive and I can’t hold her. Knowing she’s out there, without me, is a different hell, but still one cut from the same cloth.

“I’m okay, Lillie,” I tell her in a broken voice. “I’ll be okay.”

Eventually, I know I’ll believe this.

My heart will recover, my strength will regain, and I’ll go back to being the person I was before Lucy Monroe marched herself into my office and lashed out after hearing the way I spoke of her.

“I’m not sure I believe you this time,” Lillie huffs.

Her hand touches my shoulder and she grasps it for balance before slowly bringing herself to sit beside me on the floor.

“I can get up, Lil,” I offer. “You don’t have to–”

“Shh,” she hisses, getting comfortable. “The view from down here is as dreary as your face.”

“Came by to cheer me up, I see.”

“Oh yes. Always that.” She winks.

Taking in a breath, I note that Lillie’s vibrant company has turned my outlook from black to grey. I’m starting to appreciate her uninvited visit.

When she arrived, I’d given Lillie the short version of what happened between Lucy and me. Corbin took it upon himself to give her the full story. Her look of disappointment when I relived each detail wasn’t only for me. It was for Lucy, too. A small part of me relished in that, although I have no idea why.

“What will you do now?” she questions.

“I don’t know.”

I honestly don’t know what I’ll do. I know there’s a part of me that still clings to the small amount of hope I believe is there. The other part of me still feels the goodbye in Lucy’s words.

Lillie drops her gaze to her lap, twisting her small fingers together. “I’m responsible for this in part,” she whispers in defeat. “You told me you didn’t want to ever know her. Corbin and I both pushed.”

“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do,” I respond. “You were doing what you thought was best. I know that.”

Without wasting a second, Lillie states, “I still think Lucy is best for you.” She clears her throat and adjusts her back against the wall, seemingly bracing for what else she has to say. “Corbin feels terrible about what’s happened.”

“Good,” I return, wishing like hell I had a drink.

I’ll forgive him. We work together, and it wouldn’t be conducive for our business to remain at odds. However, trusting him as I once did will take some time.

“Talk to him, will you? I’ve never seen him like this before. He hasn’t waded out of this much better than you. You’re his best friend.”

“I know,” I agree. “I’ll fix it.”

“In your own time and way,” she adds with a small smile. “What will you do about Lucy?”

Sighing, I lean my head back against the wall as she did. “I’m not sure there’s anything to be done. She’ll work her anger out and maybe, in time–”

“Time,” she chides. “Time is a fickle little bitch.”

I almost laugh hearing her curse. She generally always saved those sentiments for when Corbin and I really deserved them.

Swallowing hard, I think to ask Lillie what’s been weighing on my mind since Lucy left. Lillie knows me and I trust her. She’s been my maternal compass in New York for as long as I’ve known her.

Pulling my knees up and resting my arms against them, I look down in fear of the answer. “How do you ask someone for a chance you never should’ve had?”

Lillie stills beside me. “You love her, Michael. Second chances are sometimes the hardest to take. Maybe you can convince her to take one with you.”

“I wish I never knew her.”

“That’s silly,” she scoffs. “Not to mention impossible. You already love her.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then you have things to think over, Michael. You’re allowed time to hurt, to miss her, to wish things had turned out differently, but you, of all people, know you can’t change the past. What’s done is done.”

Lillie moves from the wall and starts to stand. Grabbing her hand, I bring her up with me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she informs me to my surprise. When I don’t comment either way, she adds, “Lucy sent Corbin a text. She told him not only is she quitting, but she’s decided to move to Florida.”

Smiling, I look down at the floor with a small amount of relief. Somehow, in the wake of all this mess, it feels good to know Lucy’s not lost her ridiculous ways of making people laugh without knowing she has.

“What’s in Florida?” Lillie questions, bringing her eyes to mine and comfortably smiling with me.