“Jo, you have a target on your back. What the hell do you expect us to do?” I have no idea. If I was in his position, I’d do the same thing. “I’m sorry. Look, we’ll re-evaluate in a week, okay?”
“Fine,” I say quietly.
He rises from the chair. “I have to go back to the scene. I’ll drive you to the mansion, okay? Police escort so your friend doesn’t kill me.” We both know that’s not the real reason, but I hold my tongue. Even after all the horrible things I said, he’s still worried about me. It makes me want to cry. “Mirabelle,” he says as we walk out, “I’m dropping Jo off and heading to the scene. You’re in charge until Cam returns.”
Geoff rides in the backseat of Harry’s sedan with Bryan following close behind in their black BMW. Nobody talks except when Harry asks if I’d like to swing by my apartment to pick up a few things. I hadn’t even thought of that. I just have the clothes on my back. Some reporters lie in wait, and for the first time I’m glad for the guards. They push them aside like gnats. This gratitude lasts all of a minute. With guns drawn, Bryan checks my apartment for bogies before Geoff lets me go in. Lets me. Into my own fucking apartment. The coil inside me tightens almost to the breaking point.
“Can you guys wait outside while I get ready?” I ask.
“We’re not supposed to—”
“I don’t want you in here!” I shout.
Harry touches my back. “Guys, wait out here. We’ll only be a few minutes.”
Him they listen to. They even let him shut the door without protest as I walk into my bedroom. Had I known I would have company I would have cleaned up at least the bra and panties on the floor. For some reason my hands shake as I pick up the strewn clothes from last night. That feels like a decade ago. Harry waits in the doorway, just watching me. “Those guys are driving me batshit already.”
“They’re just doing their jobs, and they seem good at it.”
“I feel like a fucking convict. I can’t even go to the bathroom without clearing it with them.” I toss the clothes I wore last night back down on the floor in frustration. “Fuck these! I’m burning them.” I go into the closet and grab a suitcase.
“Jo,” Harry says, stepping in.
I start tossing random clothes in the suitcase. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I got your message. Finally. Guess right now you’re damn glad you didn’t go.”
“That doesn’t matter now.”
“Of course it matters!” I say, my voice breaking a little. “I said horrible, horrible things to you. Even if you did decide not to go to a stupid party with me, you didn’t deserve that. And I should have known better. I should have known you’d never do that to me.”
“Jo…” he says, getting closer.
I keep packing. “I should have trusted you. I…” I chuckle. “I let my own fuckedupness cloud my judgment, and I ruined everything. Everything.” Tears start streaming down my face and I can’t stop them. I go to the dresser and practically rip the drawer out. “Always have, always will. With you, with Justin, with…” The image of them lying there flashes into my mind. Senseless. This is all so senseless. One fell swoop and all the hopes and dreams for so many were destroyed. Because of me. I gasp and burst into tears so hard I double over. “Oh, God!”
Harry doesn’t let me fall. He takes me into his arms, holding me tight. I clutch onto him for dear life, sobbing into his shoulder as he strokes my hair. “Shush, baby,” he whispers. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”
“He…they…”
“I know,” he says soothingly as he strokes. “It’s not your fault. I swear it’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry,” I say to anyone or anything that might be listening. “I’m so sorry.”
He kisses my hair. “Baby.”
He is so warm. Familiar. Old Spice. I love that smell. It’s comforting. He’s comforting. Always has been. I lift my head, my lips meeting his in an almost chaste kiss. That spark ignites a firestorm. The tears subside as we literally rip each other’s clothes off. He pins me to the bed, kissing me into depths I didn’t know I had. I’m not ready for him but he doesn’t give a damn. He pushes inside me so hard he reaches the end of me, punishing me for my sins against him. I cry out in pain but meet him with each thrust. All that pain, all that anger morphs into all consuming passion. For a few mind-blowing minutes everything but the need vanishes. Agony and ecstasy in perfect balance. It feels so good. So right. Even if I’ve lost him, at least I have this.