Mom was a crumbler. I just went into shock. Those words came out of Sands’ mouth and it was like a two-ton iron door shut inside me. Everything just closed. My emotions, my ability to think, my belief in anything decent and fair. It only opens on rare occasions, usually to let one of the demons out that can’t be contained anymore to wreak havoc on my life. Like last night.
I think I was catatonic for a minute, floating outside myself for that time as my brain assimilated the information and prepared me for my new life. Then Sands touched my shoulder and I snapped out of it. He asked if I was okay, an insanely stupid question. I looked into his eyes and told him I needed to call my uncle for my mother. Mom sobbed even louder, resting her head on Webb’s shoulder. He later told me that I looked at her with such utter contempt he got a chill. I went into her bedroom to make the call as her cries were too loud to hear over. This would be my life until I emancipated myself when I was sixteen. Mom falling apart and me having to handle everything from paying the bills to doing the repairs.
It was twenty years ago, and I remember every detail, down to the pajamas I was wearing. Justice t-shirt with purple shorts. My first next-of-kin notification. Now, I have to take center stage on the worst day of my best friend’s life. The day when all of his hopes and dreams are shattered with a few words. Will he fall apart? Take a swing at me? Never look at me the same way again? I’m about the find out.
As the jet taxis into the hangar, three mechanics hop to, grabbing tools and the fuel hose. I walk around the car to join Lucy and Dobbs. Her arms are folded across her small chest, already defensive. Dobbs has his hands crossed in the back and chin up, even now the proper servant. I don’t know what to do with my arms, so they stay at my side, the shakes that started again when we pulled in controlled by balling my hands into fists.
Justin peers through one of the small windows, smiling but confused. Shannon, Justin’s assistant’s, head bowed, lifts her cell phone to her ear. She better not tell him before we do. The plane stops and one of the mechanics opens the door. After saying something to Shannon, Justin stands to deplane. I sigh before starting toward the plane with Lucy behind me. I can do this.
As Justin comes into view at the door, Shannon’s face falls. She looks at us, stunned, her mouth gaping open. I keep walking but glance at her, lightly shaking my head to signal her to keep her trap shut. Her tiny mouth closes.
“This is a nice surprise. What are you doing here?” he asks with a chuckle as he steps down.
I have no idea what to say. He’s smiling. Smiling. I keep my face neutral as I keep walking. His grin grows as I approach, but so does the confusion. He tries to read me, but I’m not giving anything away. Lucy isn’t either. “Seriously guys, what are you doing here?” We keep walking. His smile wanes. “Jo? Aunt Lucy? What’s going on, you guys?” He tries to meet my eyes. When I don’t let him, the smile disappears. A dumbstruck Shannon appears in the plane door, trying to stop her oncoming tears. “Jo, you’re starting to scare me.” I’m only a few feet away, and I can’t not meet his gaze.
We know each other too well. Confusion changes to fear when our eyes lock. “Jo, where’s Rebecca?” This is one of the few times I’m glad for my walls. The look on that handsome face, the abject terror and sadness, would kill me otherwise. He grabs my upper arms, shaking me. “Joanna!”
I do my job. “I’m sorry to inform you that Rebecca Thornton, Daisy Thornton, and Marnie Holt were found dead this afternoon in their residence. I’m so sorry.”
My face is pressed against the glass as my best friend’s heart breaks. Fear turns to anger which becomes unfathomable sadness. He clutches onto me with quivering arms so tight I want to wince. I don’t. I accept the pain. “Daisy?” he asks, voice cracking.
I shake my head.
He releases me, wide eyes tearing. Disbelief fills his face. “No. No,” he says, shaking his head. He looks at Lucy, who averts her gaze down. Shaking his head even harder he turns to Shannon. She covers her mouth with both hands to stop the sobs. Justin gasps, running his hands through his hair as he looks back at me. Tears fall down his cheeks. “What happened? Jo, what happened?” he roars.
“They were murdered,” I say after a pause.
“Who?” I don’t answer. He grabs me again, eyes wild. I’ve never seen him like this before. There’s something inhuman about his expression. Feral. For an instant, I’m scared of him. “Who?”
“Alkaline. It was Alkaline.”
His mouth slacks open as he gasps and doubles over, just as my mom did. He twists away from me, away from all of us, staggering back to the side of the plane. He keeps gasping, unable to draw in enough air. “No,” he says in between the chokes. “No!” he bellows. He hits the side of the plane so hard it shimmies, leaving a huge dent.