Just a Number(96)
Dad shakes his head. “You and Carla rehearse that?” I shake my head, my eyebrows furrowing a bit more. “She said something eerily close to that last night.”
“Well, she’s a very smart woman. You should listen to her.”
Dad chuckles. “So I’m told.”
“I’m serious, though, Daddy,” I tell him, changing my tone and my term of endearment in hopes of helping him with the transition. “He’s never made you think he was the kind of guy to take advantage of women before. He was married to an evil wench for thirteen years—”
“And just recently got out of that relationship. Why wouldn’t he go off and have a meaningless fling with someone much younger and more prone to not want a commitment?” His words sting a little, and I wince.
Deep down, I know I’m reading too much into what he’s said, but he must see the insult in my eyes before I drop them to my half-eaten meal, and he jumps to clarify. “You’ve always been wise beyond your years, Amy. More mature and responsible than your peers, but you’re still so young. You’re just starting out in life while Owen’s already lived and settled down. Kiddo, this is your time to make mistakes and not be bogged down with someone else’s drama or have your heart broken because you’re playing a part in his midlife crisis.”
I reflect on what he’s said for a second before I look back up at him. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe that’s what I wanted?” He stares at me, dumbfounded. “Listen, I’ve dated boys my age—all through high school and even college. They’re the ones looking to use and abuse girls, Daddy…”
This makes Dad’s eyes widen, and his hands clench his coffee mug so hard I fear it might shatter and we’ll be making a trip to the ER. “Nolan?” he asks, his face reddening and his nostrils flaring. “Did he…?”
“What?” I inquire, confused and shocked. “God, no. Nolan was great, we just…didn’t work.” I take a deep breath, clearly losing him and unintentionally making this worse for him. “I always steered clear of that kind of boy, Dad. I knew the destructive paths they paved, and I wanted no part in it. I’ve never looked at a relationship as temporary, and you should be over the moon with that. You taught me that love isn’t fleeting and that sex shouldn’t be taken lightly. I’ve been so damn responsible, and while I know you don’t want to hear it, I think that’s why I originally thought Owen and I could have something…different. You of all people know he’s always been loyal to a fault with Gretchen, and I’ve always had longer-than-average relationships for my age…why couldn’t we both just…” I trail off when I notice him shift in his seat uncomfortably, but I decide to just rip the Band-Aid off; we’re both adults here. “…have that short, meaningless fling. It was something we both agreed on, and neither one of us banked on anything more coming out of it. I realize now that I wasn’t meant to have flings. You raised me to crave the satisfaction that a monogamous relationship offers. Somewhere along the line, we fell for each other, and we’re happy. You’ve even mentioned it on more than one occasion…and yet…”
He ponders this, his eyes narrowed and curious. “I want you to know that, had I known you were the woman Owen was—” He stops himself, practically choking on the words, so I jump in to save him.
Slowly, I reach across the table and lay my hand over his forearm. “We never—not in a million years—meant to hurt you.”
“And I understand that,” he says with a shrug. “But, I can’t just forgive and forget overnight. It’s going to take some time.”
Nodding, I pull my hand back and place it in my lap, cracking my knuckles. “I know.”
Dad sighs. “Look, I’m only just sorting through everything and trying to figure out how to deal with it, but I wanted to talk to you before you left town.”
I pull my eyebrows together, confused about the tail end of his statement. “Wait, you knew I was here? I thought you’d just come to grab something to eat and this was all a coincidence.”
Dad smirks, reaching into his jacket pocket and retrieving the phone I got him for Christmas. “You know, this thing is pretty neat. It’s got this ‘Friend Finder’ thing that can locate my contacts. Technology, huh?”
Laughing lightly, I shrug. “Yeah, who knew.”
That awkwardness briefly falls over us again before Dad speaks. “Did you mean what you said? You love him?”