Just a Little Crush(65)

I wiped my eyes dry and swallowed all my emotions, determined not to let Ryder see me crying over this, and stormed to his dorm. The entire walk my mind swirled. I went from angry to hurt, back to seething rage. Thankfully, at the time we arrived I was furious. I’d be damned if that asshole saw me cry over him. Over this.

Fallon stood behind me with her arms crossed as I banged on Ryder’s door. It swung open and Ryder stood there with no shirt on, his hair damp. A few darkened strands dangled over his green eyes. What would have thrilled me a few hours ago only disgusted me now.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, then his eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong?”

I held the paper up. “Congratulations, asshole.”

Ryder stared at the paper for a second then his expression sank.

I shoved it into his chest. “You know how I said nobody is worth wasting emotions like hate on? Well, I’ve changed my mind. I fucking hate you.”

He flinched.

My throat was dry and I swallowed. “With every ounce of my being, I hate you.” I spun and marched away as the tears spilled down my cheeks.





Chapter Fifteen


I skipped class on Tuesday and chose to stay in bed all day. I’d mentally recounted every moment with Ryder leading up to having sex with him. He’d warned me that he was no good but I’d fallen for him anyway. He’d played me well. The more he’d pushed me away, the more I’d wanted him.

I’d like to believe he’d really had feelings for me. That he’d tried not to hurt me, but then I remembered the leaderboard. Guys didn’t get to the top without screwing a lot of girls. Clearly he’d worked hard to get there and I was just a hurdle in the race. The night he chose me over Cassidy was probably when he realized I was a virgin. Of course he’d wanted me in his bed. That girl wasn’t worth as many points as stupid little me. And the night he found me outside with Noah, he wasn’t looking for me. He was preventing his roommate from surpassing him in their fucked-up little game.

I pulled my blanket over my head and choked back tears. Refusing to cry over him. My phone rang. I’d already talked to Grandma today who was back home and doing well, but just in case it was her, I glanced at the screen. It was Mason. I ignored the call, embarrassed to admit to him he was right about Ryder.

A knock pounded on the door. “Open up, Brinley. I know you’re in there. I heard your phone ringing.”

I threw back the blanket and stared at the ceiling. Sneaky bastard.

I slogged to the door and cracked it open. “I’m sick. Probably contagious. You shouldn’t come in.”

“Bullshit.” Mason pushed past, strolling into my room. “What’s going on? You haven’t answered my calls or texts and you skipped today.”

How did he know?

“I waited outside your class, don’t even try to lie.”

“I’m sick.”

“You had the flu this fall and still managed to text me. So what’s up?”

I sighed and sank back onto my bed. “I’ll tell you, but if the words ‘I told you so’ come out of your mouth, so help me God I will castrate you.”

“Whoa. Damn girl, when did you get all violent?” He smiled but I only crossed my arms. “Um, okay, you’re serious.”

“Have you ever heard guys talk about some kind of website where they get points for sleeping with girls?”

“A week ago a guy in my Spanish class mentioned something about it. He said it was invite only and asked if I was interested. I didn’t take him too serious. I thought he was bullshitting me. He’s always bragging about hooking up with girls so I thought he was just trying to sound like a big shit.”

“It’s real.”

His face blanched. “What does this have to do with you?”

My eyes welled and I looked down.

“Please tell me you’re not on this website.”

I shrugged and glanced at him. A tear sprang loose and rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away.

His shoulders sank. “Ryder?”

My lip trembled and I nodded.

“And you had sex with him.”

He said it like a statement not a question, so I didn’t bother answering.

I pulled my knees to my chest. “Worst part, someone ratted out the website to The Sutton Star. They have this whole exposé on it. They’re hiding the identity of the girls but they are outing the guys involved. They want the website shut down, and to publicly humiliate them, I guess. Though somehow I don’t think they will be humiliated. Just the girls. We’re the ones who look stupid.”

“They can’t run this story,” he said.

“It will be in Thursday’s paper.”