Lying there practically naked, while he studied me, made me self-conscious. I needed to level the playing field. I reached down and unbuttoned his pants, my fingers trailing over his abdomen. His breath hitched and muscles flexed as he flinched. I flipped onto my side and tugged the zipper of his jeans then worked them down.
“You really aren’t making this easy,” I said.
He chuckled, stood next to the bed and let them drop. My gaze followed them to the ground then slowly came back up, settling on his black boxer-briefs and tracing the muscular V, which opened up to washboard abs.
Holy hell, he was perfect.
“Come here.” He motioned me over with a tilt of his chin.
I scooted to the edge of the bed and, propped on my knees, was almost at eye level with him. He cupped my face and kissed me. “Changed your mind yet?”
I shook my head.
“Good, because after the way you just looked at me, I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop.”
He slipped his hand around my ponytail holder and freed my hair. It tumbled over my shoulders and he ran his fingers through it. The strands tickled my bare skin, causing it to prickle. He brushed his thumbs along my collarbone, then circled one hand inward, dipping between my breasts.
I steadied my breathing, embarrassed by how erratic it had become. A mixture of nerves and excitement.
With his thumb and forefinger, he unclasped my bra. As if I really were the perfect present, he seemed to savor the moment. His hands moved in opposite directions as he slid it over my shoulders. It dropped to my wrists, then slipped onto the bed. Ryder’s all-consuming gaze heated my skin.
My face warmed and I fought the urge to cover myself.
“I definitely don’t deserve this.” He lowered his mouth to the curve of my breast.
My body turned into putty. My back arched as his hand cupped my other breast. He ran his tongue in a slow circle, mimicking the movement of his fingers. I draped my arms over his shoulders, wanting to remain pressed against him, but fighting the urge to collapse under his heated kisses.
His other hand slipped into my panties. Anticipation trapped the air in my lungs, but as his finger slipped inside me, I released my breath with a moan, followed by a whimper as he pulled it back out.
“So fucking hot.” His hands glided down my thighs and hooked behind my knees as he pulled my legs from under me.
I fell from my kneeling position onto my butt as he repositioned me on the very edge of his bed. With his fingers looped around each side of my panties, he yanked them off, sank to his knees and pressed his mouth between my thighs.
I clenched the blanket in my hands. “Oh my God.”
His tongue was hot as it moved over me, and my body bucked reflexively against his mouth. My toes curled and white light flashed behind my eyelids. If he kept this up there was no way I’d make it long. Maybe that was his plan. Maybe he was still avoiding sex.
He slipped his finger inside and my hips arched. The sensations were so intense I knew exactly where I was headed. And this orgasm would be even more mind-blowing than the first.
“Ryder,” I moaned while gripping the sheet to avoid grabbing his hair. My lungs couldn’t pull air in fast enough to keep up with the pumping of my heart. “You have to stop.”
His mouth and hands drifted away from my body and I took several even breaths, trying to squelch the fire in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know what to expect from my first time, but at the rate we were going, he could just brush his hand over my body and I’d be screaming his name.
There was rustling and I realized Ryder had reached into his nightstand for something. He stood and tore a condom wrapper open with his teeth.
I propped myself onto my elbows as he lowered his boxers and rolled the condom on.
This was it. No turning back. But looking at him, standing there all perfect—inside and out—I didn’t want to.
He scooted me back and placed a pillow under my head. “Still sure?”
I nodded.
“Thank God.” With one elbow pressed into the mattress by my head, he settled over me. His hips rested between my thighs.
I tried to relax my body as he ran his thumb along my cheek then brushed his lips over mine.
He glanced down between our bodies, aligning himself into position. I held my breath and his gaze flicked back up. He studied my expression.
I exhaled and attempted to calm my nerves, which didn’t stem from my decision but from the enormity of the moment. It was a really big deal, in a good way, but he seemed to think I was having second thoughts. Before he could question me, I nodded.
The corner of his mouth lifted with a small smile. Gaze locked on mine, he shifted back into position and began easing himself in. My eyelids fluttered closed. It burned but not in a bad way. Once partially in he paused. “I’m terrified to hurt you,” he whispered.