“Yeah.” He smiled. “It’s amazing we’re so well adjusted.”
“I can thank Grandma for that. She keeps me sane.”
“Same for Paige. She’s my voice of reason.” He glanced at his watch. “Ready to go?”
“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I’d been so distracted by our conversation I’d hardly eaten, but clearly he had somewhere else to be.
Ryder didn’t drive me back to the dorm, but instead returned to the nature trail. We walked hand in hand to the overlook. He sat and pulled me onto the rock, my hips resting between his legs.
“Relax, Brinley.”
I leaned against his chest and stared out at the bridge. “Why are you taking me on a date tonight?”
He sighed. “Because I can almost stand the person I am when I’m with you.”
I shook my head. “I like the person you are…and it has nothing to do with me.”
“You make me a better person. But, c’mon, you and I both know I’m not a good person.”
I sat upright and turned toward him. “Ryder, you just told me you broke a guy’s nose because he cheated on your mom. You carry the burden of his deception to save your mom from pain. And you are working your butt off in school to support her later. Why in the world would I think you’re not a good person?”
“Because most of what I do isn’t good.”
“C’mon, what have you done that’s so bad? I doubt it’s anything most guys don’t do, and the fact you have some level of remorse about it is probably a step up. I think you are too hard on yourself. You’re a goo—”
“I’m not a good guy.”
“You are to me.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m trying not to hurt you, but I don’t know how to do that anymore.” His eyes locked onto mine, and he cupped my cheek. “I can’t tell if I’m doing what’s right for you or what’s right for me.”
“Why can’t it be right for both of us?”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
Of course it did, but he was so convinced he was wrong for me, he’d never see it that way. I shifted onto my knees, still wedged between his legs. “Why can’t I decide what’s right for me?”
He smirked. “Well, clearly, if you think I am, you’re a poor judge.”
I frowned.
He pushed up the corners of my mouth. “I’m joking. Smile.”
“But you aren’t really joking. You think you’re wrong for me and that’s not fair. You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“First off, I don’t think. I know. But secondly, I’m not deciding that. Not anymore. That’s why I’m here.” He gave me a peck. “So what do you want to do tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. There’s a band playing at The Box. We should check them out.”
A band. Tomorrow. “Okay.”
“It’s a date, then.” He slid off the rock, pulling me with him. “C’mon. Time to get you home. You have class in the morning.”
“Don’t you?”
“Not until noon. I don’t really do the early-morning-class thing.”
“How do you know I do?”
“Noah’s in your class.”
“Oh, yeah.” I’d pretty much forgotten all about Noah but, of course, Ryder would know we had class together.
“I found his notebook. It has your name and hearts scribbled all over it.” Ryder laughed. “Kidding. Though it wouldn’t surprise me. He’s definitely not going to like us dating.”
“Dating?” What in the world was going on? It was as if I’d stepped into some alternate universe.
“Mm-hmm.” He walked down the path, leading me by the hand. “Watch out.”
I stepped over a log and fell in stride beside him. Did this have something to do with last night? Was he trying to get me to a place where I was comfortable enough to ask for sex? The fear of an ulterior motive tainted the idea of dating Ryder. “Are you just doing this because—”
“Because you beat the shit out of the boys this morning? I’m not going to lie, that did scare me a bit and I have a healthy level of fear and respect for you…but no. I’m not doing this because of anything that happened, or that was said.” He glanced at me. “I’m doing this because I’m tired of pretending I can stay away from you.”
“Can I ask you something else?”
“Sure.”
“Are you, um, dating anyone else?”
It was dark but I still made out his grin. “No, Brinley. And I’m not having sex with anyone either. In case you’re wondering.”