Just The Way You Are(74)
Maybe he hadn't. He'd seen her, sure, but looked at her—really looked at her—maybe not.
"I'm going to put my shoes on," she said when he didn't reply. "Did you confirm with Tessa what time we'll meet?"
Tessa. Bring up Tessa, it was the last line of defense between them.
"She'll meet us at the parking lot about a half hour from now. But you already knew that, didn't you?"
"Are you trying to pick a fight?"
"Are you?"
"Can we just forget what happened last night? Chalk it up to one more bad decision we made."
"So, you think you can forget it?"
"I don't want to do this right now, Sam. Megan is upstairs. She doesn't need to hear us fighting or see us throwing pots and pans at each other."
"She'd probably rather see us kissing."
"And that would confuse her even more."
"We're all confused. She can join the club."
"You don't mean that."
He slammed his fist down on the counter. "No, I don't mean that. I don't want to hurt Megan, but don't you see, Alli, this is hurting Megan."
"But you've been hurting for nine years, Sam. And I've been hurting, too. And that doesn't make for a happy home for our daughter. Please, let's leave this alone for now. There's too much going on now. I can't think straight."
"Neither can I, especially when you're around."
"You've been living with me for so many years. How can you suddenly be this…"
"This what?" he asked, moving closer to her.
"This interested. Is it because you don't have me anymore? That now you suddenly want me? Is it to prove that you can make me love you even after everything?"
"That is not it at all. Is it so hard to believe that I'm attracted to you? Have I ever pretended otherwise?"
"Fine, you're attracted to me. It doesn't mean anything."
"It means more than you think." He grabbed her by the arm. "It means we have something to work with. We can't go on like this, Alli."
"We're not going on. We're getting a divorce."
He looked deep into her eyes. "Are you sure that's what you want?"
"It's what you want."
"Don't make my decisions for me."
"Are you saying you don't want a divorce?"
"Maybe—maybe I am," he admitted.
"Well." She drew in a long breath, then let it out. "When you can get rid of the maybe, let me know."
* * *
"This is completely uncivilized," Jimmy said as Tessa pulled her grandmother's sedan into the parking lot at the top of the rocky bluff. "Tell me again why hiking is involved in this?"
Tessa turned off the engine and looked at him with a grin. "Because we're going down to the tidal flats, where the river breaks off into several strands before it hits the bay, creating estuaries, otherwise known as pockets where the fresh and salt waters mix. When the tide goes out the oysters close themselves up and just sit there in the mud waiting to be scooped up."
Jimmy made a face at her. "This involves hiking and mud?"
She laughed. "You're such a wimp."
"Oh, sure, insult me now that the thunder and lightning have stopped."
"Okay, okay. You were my hero last night, I admit it. And I do appreciate your sleeping on the couch."#p#分页标题#e#
"It was the best offer I got," he said dryly. "And I'll have you know that that is not a six-foot couch."
"Sorry, it looked long enough."
"Obviously your judgment where size is concerned is a bit flawed. I'm much bigger than—"
"Than what?" she interrupted, feeling decidedly wicked, but there was something about Jimmy that brought out the devil in her. "Please, do tell me exactly how big you are."
"Some things you gotta see for yourself, babe. And for you, I'll offer a private showing."
Tessa felt her cheeks grow warm. Just like that he'd turned the tables on her, taken her teasing and made it into a dare, a challenge she wasn't quite up to meeting. Although she had to admit that her sleepless night had less to do with the storm and more to do with the emotions curdling her stomach and tensing her muscles. She'd spent half the night thinking about Sam and the other half wondering about the man downstairs, the man who up until a few weeks ago had been just a photographer and a friend, but who had somehow become so much more.
She still couldn't believe she'd told him about her parents, shared her vulnerability about storms. It had taken her years to create a front for herself and in just a few moments of thunder and lightning, she'd completely caved in.
"I take it your silence means the viewing is on hold," Jimmy said.