Just The Way You Are(40)

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Chapter 11



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Phoebe could hear them talking over her like she was already dead and buried, and she didn't like it one little bit. She suspected it was evening, but which evening she couldn't be sure. She definitely smelled food, spaghetti she thought, and she'd heard Alli ask William if he wanted to get a sandwich in the cafeteria.

Tessa was in the room, too, and Sam—she heard his deep baritone in between the two female voices. They seemed to be arguing about something.

Her mind drifted away with the weariness of it all. She'd wanted so badly to fix what was wrong between the girls. They were sisters, after all. They were family, and once she was gone they'd only have each other. It hurt her to think of them apart, separated by a wall of betrayal and distrust. But she didn't know how to make it better. Maybe if John had lived…

After his death, everything had gone to hell in a handbasket, as her own grandmother used to say. It was that Christmas after his death that Tessa hadn't come home. It was that Christmas that Alli and Sam had fallen into bed together, made a baby, and destroyed one family at the same time they were compelled to build another.

Phoebe prayed for John to speak to her again, to tell her what to do, for it was only in the strange dreamworld that she felt like a whole person, able to move freely, to speak clearly. But John was gone for now. He wanted her to finish the pearl necklace, to ask the girls to help, to remind them of what family and love were all about. But she could barely speak. Every time she woke up, she had to struggle to get small words out. How could she make them understand what they needed to understand?

But even as she worried, she felt the heaviness in her heart begin to lessen as the outside world grew louder and her dreamworld faded away.

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"Look, her eyelids are fluttering." Alli reached out her hand to Sam.

He squeezed her fingers as he moved closer to her side. "She could be dreaming."

"I want her to wake up. It feels like forever since I've talked to her."

Alli leaned against him, and he felt more needed in that moment than he had in a very long time. She was such an independent woman, his wife, so strong, so bullheaded, that it was easy to think of her as totally self-sufficient. Only he knew better. He knew her insecurities, her fears lay just beneath the surface, and it didn't take much to turn her confidence into insecurity. Tessa could do that better than anyone. And he supposed he was a close second.#p#分页标题#e#

They'd had a love-hate relationship for eighteen years now. They'd been so many things to each other—neighbors, friends, enemies, lovers—and now they were supposed to be separated, on their way to a divorce. What would they be to each other then? Strangers? It didn't seem possible that they could have ended up in this place.

He looked up as the hospital room door opened and Tessa walked in with William.

Alli stepped away from him immediately, as if she'd been caught doing something wrong, like holding his hand, like caring about him.

But why was that wrong? His definitions had changed, grown blurry. Marrying Alli had always seemed to be wrong. But divorcing her seemed wrong, too. And Tessa; he didn't know what the hell to do about her.

"Hi," Tessa said softly, her blue eyes seeking his for reassurance. "Everything okay?"

"Fine. But how are you?"

"I'm okay. Jimmy is in the hall. I didn't think it would be right to bring him in here since he's never met Grams. I wouldn't want to confuse her if she wakes up."

"That was thoughtful of you."

"Grams?" Alli questioned. "Are you awake?"

Sam looked to the bed as Phoebe's eyes slowly opened. Thank God, he breathed in silent prayer. Because if anyone could make the world right again, it would be Phoebe. She'd been as much a grandmother to him as she was to Alli and Tessa. And in the past three months she'd been a lifeline in a sea of confusion.

Phoebe's lips trembled and then moved into what looked like a smile. As her facial muscles seemed to respond to her command, her expression relaxed.

"It's all right, don't try to talk," Alli said.

"Maybe she wants to try," Tessa suggested, coming around the other side of the bed.

Phoebe's lips parted, and after several ragged breaths, she said, "Pearl."

Sam leaned closer to the bed, surprised by her word choice. Had he heard her correctly? Had she meant Pearl or were her brain signals all mixed up?

"Pearl?" Alli echoed. "What do you mean, Grams?"

"Don't push her," Tessa said. "Give her a chance to collect her thoughts."

"Tessa." Phoebe's gaze came to rest on Tessa's face. "You came home," she said slowly, looking more triumphant with each word.