His words created a lump in her throat that she had trouble swallowing. "Of course we would miss you, Sam, but…" She didn't know what he was asking really. Did he want her to ask him to stay, to walk away from Tessa?
She'd already forced that decision on him once before, and she couldn't do it again, especially now, since he'd reminded her of the past, of all the hours he and Tessa had spent in the treehouse with the flashlight and the telescope.
Alli had seen their first kiss. She'd heard their first fight. She'd watched them fall in love. And she'd broken them up. It was time to do the right thing, set Sam free.
"Alli?"
"What?"
"Look at the seagulls."
She watched a group of gulls dance off the water in search of food only to soar high into the sky as the boat drew closer to them.
"Beautiful," she murmured. "Absolutely free. I'd forgotten how fun this is, to sail into the wind, feel the mist on your face, breathe in the fresh air. It's invigorating."
"It's spectacular," Sam said. "Out here, everything is so simple. Why do we have to complicate things?"
"Because we're human, and we need more than the seagulls to be happy." She paused. "You know what you said about Tessa teaching you how to dream? Well, since I spent most of my time standing on the ground beneath that damn treehouse, I always had to look up to see anything, and when I looked up, I saw you." Her eyes grew watery. "You were my dream, Sam. I wanted so badly to be yours."
"Come here." He held out his hand to her.
Alli hesitated, then walked over and let him slide his arm around her waist as he encouraged her to put her hands on the wheel.
"You can drive," he said.
"Since when?" she asked, feeling the power of the boat under her fingers.
"Since now. Besides, there's nothing around for you to crash into."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
He rested his chin on her head, his hands firm on her waist as she steered the boat. "Sometimes you need to forget everything, Alli—where you've been, where you're going, what you want, what you think you want. Sometimes you just have to be in the moment, or the moment passes you by."
"I think that's how we made Megan," she said dryly.
"And since then you've been trying to take it all back. But you can't. I came to accept the fact that you were never going away, Alli."#p#分页标题#e#
"Hey," she protested, but his teasing laugh prevented any further protest.
"And you need to accept the fact that we can't change the past. Just stop and feel the sun on your face and the breeze in your hair and let everything else go. Be as free as those seagulls."
She turned her head, his face so close to hers. "Is that why you spend so much time out here, so you can feel free, so you can forget everything?"
He stared at her for a long time, so long she had to stop herself from fidgeting, force herself to not look away, because she really wanted to hear his answer.
"I used to come out here to forget. Lately, I've been trying to remember." Then he smiled his special smile … and Alli remembered how much she loved him.
* * *
"You'll remember how to do it as soon as you get on," Jimmy said, holding the two-seater bicycle steady as Tessa eyed it with distrust.
"Tell me again why I want to do this."
"Because it will be fun. Because it's here, and we're here, and what the hell."
"It's amazing how complex your thoughts are," Tessa said sarcastically.
Jimmy laughed, feeling better than he had in weeks. He'd missed Tessa, missed the way she didn't take crap from him, saw through all the bullshit and yet still remained one of the most beautiful, desirable women he'd ever met—and he'd met plenty in his career as a fashion photographer. In fact, after his first few years of sexual indulgence, he'd become vaccinated against the superthin, superbeautiful, superbitchy women who only wanted him because he made them look better than anyone else.
Behind the camera, he had all the power, and he'd used it unashamedly for a long, long time. But Tessa, Tessa was different. There had always been a vulnerability to her, a privacy, a secret side that even his camera had yet to unveil. Now, seeing her here in her hometown, he was beginning to believe she was nothing like the woman most people thought they knew.
Tessa straddled the bike, her short dress hitched up to mid-thigh. "I think I should be wearing jeans for this," she said. "I might stop traffic."
"Good. That will save me from running the lights."
"Maybe I should be in the front. Can I trust you to steer?"
"I don't know, can I trust you to pedal?"