Just The Way You Are(18)

"It's different for you. You know why Ron married you, and it wasn't because you were pregnant. Sam did the right thing by me. And I appreciate that. But we didn't marry for love."

"Maybe you didn't start off right, but you and Sam have made a life together. Why throw it all away?"

"Because this is the right thing for me to do—for Sam. When I saw that box of photographs and magazine covers, I felt like I'd stumbled on Sam and Tessa having sex together. It was awful." Alli shook her head, still feeling the pain of that moment.

"So he kept some mementos. Big deal. It's his past. You're his present, his future."

"They weren't from the past; the pictures were of Tessa today. Sam has been following her career, keeping his eye on her, probably counting the days until Megan turns eighteen," she said bitterly. "That's why he hasn't wanted to have any more children. He knows once Megan is an adult he can walk away, having done his duty. And you know what, he won't even be forty. He can start over, have another family—with Tessa."#p#分页标题#e#

"Whoa, slow down," Mary Ann said sharply. "You are way out there."

"I can't help it. I forced Sam to be a husband, a father, a provider. I thought I could make it work. I pretended for a long time that he would fall in love with me by the sheer force of my will, but I know now that Sam hasn't forgotten Tessa, and I don't think he's given up on her either. She still has his heart. And if she has his heart, she might as well have him. Because I can't go on living like this. I want my husband to be in love with me. I want to have more children."

"Then don't give up on your marriage." Mary Ann walked up to the counter and looked Alli straight in the eye. "You're not a quitter, Allison Tucker. Everyone in this town knows you fight for what you want. Why don't you make Sam see that you are still the best thing that ever happened to him?"

"Because I want Sam to fight for me this time."

Mary Ann sent her a sad smile. "Sometimes you have to be happy with what you have."

"I want more," Alli said simply. "I always have."

"And somehow you usually find a way to get it. For what it's worth, my money's on you."

"Even with Tessa in town?"

"Absolutely. It's much easier to fight a real person than a memory."

"I disagree. No one can diminish the memory of a first love. It's too strong. No matter what I do for Sam, he'll always think that he lost out on the love of his life."

"But he didn't. He just doesn't know it yet."

Alli smiled at Mary Ann. "You're a good friend."

"And you're just going through a bad patch. Every marriage hits rocks. How many times can you pick up smelly socks and still want to suck on your husband's toes? We're talking about real life here."

Alli put a hand to her head. "You're giving me a headache. It's too early in the morning for toe sucking."

"Well, think about it."

"Thanks, but I'd rather not."

Mary Ann laughed as the bell over the door rang in a customer. "Saved by the bell."

"Can you keep an eye on things out here? I want to do some computer work in the office, check out the Internet and see what I can find out about strokes."

"No problem. Is Sam staying at the hospital with Tessa?"

Alli sent her a dark look. "I have no idea. Like I said, Sam is a mystery to me."

Mary Ann patted her on the shoulder. "You always did like a good mystery, honey. Just keep turning those pages, because I have a feeling this story isn't nearly done."

* * *

The late afternoon shadows danced off Sam's office wall, reminding him of the way Alli's wedding ring used to catch the light as she waved her hand around, each word she spoke accompanied by some rapid movement of her fingers.

Shit! Why was she back in his mind again? He rested his elbows on the desk, wondering if Alli still wore her wedding ring. He couldn't remember seeing it on her hand this morning. Had she taken it off? Why couldn't he remember? Why did he care?

Slamming his hand down on the desk in frustration, Sam got to his feet and walked over to the window that overlooked the harbor. By the Fourth of July there would be no empty slips, no quiet mornings. While a part of him missed the solitude of winter, the other part of him reveled in the chance to make some summer money. The next three months would determine the success of the rest of the year.

As Tucker's Landing and the towns to the north and the south began to spread closer to each other there would be more long-term business as well, which was exactly why the opportunity to sell his charter boat service had arisen. But how could he leave behind what had become a part of him?#p#分页标题#e#