Just One Touch (Slow Burn #5)(74)

"Baby, why are you crying?" he asked desperately. "What's wrong? Are you hurting? Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it, please," he begged. "I can't bear to see you so unhappy. You're breaking my heart, honey. You have to know there is nothing I won't do to make you smile. To make you light up for me and to make you happy. Please talk to me so I understand."

He didn't care that he sounded like the most desperate of men. He could feel her slipping away from him and it was the most miserable, helpless, gut-wrenching sensation in the world. Never had he felt this kind of agony and the panic he'd felt just seconds ago about being unable to protect her was nothing compared to his terror of losing her over something he didn't know how to fight.

Jenna scooted as close to his body as she could and wrapped her arm around his waist, hugging and holding on to him tightly, the same desperation that was flooding through his veins reflected in her actions. She buried her face in his neck, her hot tears scalding his skin. Her body shuddered and her breath huffed out erratically as she seemed to try to get herself under control. She slid both hands between them and gripped handfuls of his shirt in her fingers, balling them into tight fists as if to reassure herself that he would never leave.

"You're scaring me, baby," he said, sounding completely unhinged. And that wasn't far off the mark because he was fast unraveling, panic destroying the last tenuous hold he had on his composure.

"I'm scared," she choked out. "Oh God, Isaac, what have I done? I know why they murdered every single member of the cult and I can't bear it. I'm so terrified and I feel so helpless and selfish and I've gotten you all in so deep that there's no way out. I don't know what to do."

Isaac took in a deep breath, knowing that she was on the very edge of a complete breakdown and he had to be strong for her. He couldn't let her see how close he was to coming undone or it would push her that much closer to shattering.

He wrapped himself around her so that no part of her was untouched by him. He rubbed his hand up and down her back and pressed tiny kisses to the top of her head, her brow, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her chin and finally her lips, inhaling her breaths like he was starved for oxygen. He willed himself to call upon the reserves that had served him so well in the past and focused on slowing his heart rate and stopping the shaking that had spread rapidly through his entire body until he'd felt too weak to stand even if he wanted to. 

For several long moments he focused on pouring all the love he felt for her into every touch, caress and tender kiss while commanding his body to be stoic, steady and unwavering, her rock to lean on and depend on to make everything right in her world.

When he finally won the battle for control of his rioting emotions, he leaned back just enough so he could slide his fingers beneath her chin and nudge it upward till their gazes met. He nearly flinched at the raw pain and vulnerability in her eyes, but he forced himself not to react.

He rubbed his thumb lazily over her cheek, repeating the motion not only to soothe her but because he needed this contact. Needed to be touching her because as much as he'd sworn to be her rock, her anchor, she was his source of reassurance and calm.

"What's scaring you, honey? Talk to me. Get it out so we can deal with it and then put it away so you no longer dwell on it. You know I'll do anything to keep you from ever being in a situation you don't want to be in. From now on, you're in charge of your destiny and you're the one who'll make decisions for yourself. Not some fucking cult. Not some crazy fucking drug lord with a God complex and not me."

Her eyes filled with tears again and they slid hotly down her cheeks to collide with his thumb.

"Baby, talk to me," he pleaded. "It eats me up alive to see you so scared and unhappy. I know everyone in your life has let you down until now, but I swear to you, I will never be like those people. You are the single most important person in my life. My first and only priority. There is nothing you can't talk to me about."

"Oh, Isaac, isn't it obvious why they wiped out every man, woman and child in the cult?" She swallowed back a sob and lifted her hand to place over the hand he was cradling her cheek with, as if she needed to touch him every bit as much as he needed to touch her. "They are systematically getting rid of anyone who knew me or had knowledge of my existence."

Her eyes filled with pain unlike any he'd ever seen. Even having witnessed gravely injured people, his own teammates, the pain he'd seen in their eyes paled in comparison to what he saw when he looked into Jenna's. His gut clenched because it was killing him. He couldn't bear to see her in such agony when he was helpless to do a damn thing about it except listen to what she had to say. And he had a very bad feeling about the conclusion she'd reached. Dread filled his heart because he knew it was the exact same conclusion he and his teammates had.