Just One Taste...(35)

       

She reached out as if she needed to brace herself against him, then  jerked her hand back. "You forced him to do a favor for you?"

He'd given Douglas a choice, hadn't he? No. He really hadn't. "Yes, I did."

Her face paled. Her eyes grew hard, and he was surprised he didn't fall  to his knees at her feet. He wasn't shining in her eyes now. Had he just  destroyed the one thing that meant everything?

"I hoped if I got you together," he said, "if you spent more time together, you'd repair your relationship."

"Why? Why did you do that?"

"Because it's what you wanted. Because I love you."





12



"YOU WHAT ?""I love you."

Hearing the words again didn't lessen their shock. Why didn't Vanessa  feel elation? Shouldn't she be happy? Instead, she was shocked,  miserable … manipulated.

And by the only person she'd allowed herself to trust in many years. She  was infuriated. Crushed. Overwhelmed. And she was scared.

The feelings she'd fought against were still there, hovering over her  heart, threatening to invade forever. Even Lucas's manipulation hadn't  killed them. Even though he'd acted just like her parents-he'd  rearranged the scenery to suit him, to get what he wanted.

The fact that he justified his actions by saying she benefited  infuriated her. It was the same argument she'd heard all her life. You  just listen to me. I know what's best for you … .

"And you love me, too," he said in that same calm, confident tone. "Though I doubt you'll admit it."

One blow followed by more, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. And  when had he come to all these fantastic conclusions? Not just this  minute. How long had he been holding in his feelings? As long as he'd  been keeping the secret about her father? As long as he'd stage-managed  and controlled her life and her business?

"Why won't I admit it?" she managed to ask.

"You're scared of loving me. You're afraid I'll reject you. The way your parents did."

Her head snapped back. Her heartbeat raced. "Reject you? Gee, I think  you're finally getting the picture." The man was arrogant beyond belief.  She tapped her finger against his chest. "I trusted you with my body,  my goals and dreams. You took that information and blackmailed my father  and manipulated me. Like we're all puppets starring in your exclusive  little play. You don't love me. You only want to control me. Like they  tried." Her gaze burned into his. "And failed."

"I'm not." He cupped her face. "I was trying to help. I wanted-I still want to make you happy."

"Not like this." She stepped back. "Damn it, Lucas, it took me a long  time and a lot of courage to get my life where it is. I won't give  anybody the chance to mess with that. Not even you."

"I'm not trying to change you. I'm trying to help. And I'd like to point  out it worked. You and your father are closer than you have been in  years."

She wanted to scream in frustration. The man didn't get it at all. He  didn't get her. "It's not real! It's based on a lie, on your clever  maneuvers. Do you know how it makes me feel that my father hasn't been  giving me business and inviting me to lunch because he wanted to, but  because he was forced to?"

"Does it really matter how it started?"

"Yes!" She could feel tears burning at the back of her throat. "He had to be forced into spending time with me."

He shook his head. "He wanted an excuse to see you. He just wasn't happy it was my idea."

"I'm sure." Humiliation still burned in her stomach. "What did you blackmail him with?"

"It wasn't blackmail. It was a favor."

"Yeah, yeah. What do you know?"

He slid his hands into his pockets. "I can't tell you."

Disbelief didn't even begin to cover her reaction. "You're kidding."

"It involves a legal issue-"

"He's not your attorney. You're not obligated to keep silent."                       
       
           



       

"He's a colleague," he said simply.

She knew now she'd definitely fallen too hard for him, since even  through her anger and frustration, her sense of betrayal and confusion,  she admired him. "This is what you talked to him about at the cocktail  party a couple of weeks ago, isn't it?"

"Yes." He started to close the distance between them, but when she moved  away, he stopped. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I just wanted to help."

"You didn't."

He flinched, and she found she didn't want to face his pain. She had  plenty of her own. And she couldn't possibly love a man who would go  behind her back this way, using the excuse that he only wanted to help.

"I have to go," she said, backing away from him.

"Don't. We need to talk this out."

She snagged her purse off the sofa and headed toward the door. "Too late."

He pursued her into the foyer. "When are you coming back?"

"I'm not." Swallowing, she forced herself to look him in the eye. The  confidence was gone from his eyes, replaced by pleading. She opened the  door. "I don't trust you anymore. I don't want to see you anymore."

He grabbed her elbow. "Vanessa, please."

The fear she'd felt over his declaration of love washed over her again.  Beyond her anger, disappointment and humiliation, she couldn't face his  feelings. Or her own. She'd taken on the challenges in her life. Met  them. Beat them. She hadn't run away then; she shouldn't run away now.

"Goodbye, Lucas." She pulled out of his grip and closed the door behind her.

You're afraid I'll reject you.

Had she pushed him away so she wouldn't get hurt? If she had, she hadn't done it soon enough. She hurt like hell.



SLUMPING IN HIS CHAIR, Joseph slid aside a stack of files. Work wasn't helping. He wondered if anything would.

Guilt.

The proving of it, avoiding it, the very idea of it, drove his  profession. The emotion of it, though, he wasn't generally familiar  with.

He'd made the occasional, regrettable decision over the years, but he'd  never dwelled on those lapses. He'd used other people's feelings of  remorse to win cases, facilitate confessions and even get his way with  his family. But there was no escaping the conclusion he'd come to  recently.

He'd renewed his relationship with his daughter, and he felt guilty about it.

Worse, he felt the need to confess. He wanted to tell her what had  driven him to spend more time with her. And not so he could expose that  ruthless blackmailer Lucas Broussard-though that would be a nice side  benefit. He wanted to tell her because he didn't want the deception  between them. He felt guilty about going forward without telling her the  whole story, even if it meant revealing the professionally shaky area  of two wills in the Switzer family.

If this feeling was a regular thing, no wonder people were so miserable.

Strong men didn't feel guilt. Strong men led their companies and their  families with single-minded confidence. They made the tough, sometimes  unpopular decisions and didn't dwell on the past or get caught up in the  emotion of the moment.

"Mr. Douglas?" a voice asked from his intercom. "This is Frank at security downstairs. Mrs. Switzer is here to see you."

Great. Another woman he didn't want to face at the moment. Thanks to  Vanessa filling up Millie's social calendar and Elise filling up his,  he'd avoided her nicely for the past few weeks.

"Mr. Douglas?" the guard asked again.

Joseph sighed. "Send her up."

He thought about fixing himself a drink, but all he needed was for Elise  to make another one of her surprise visits and find him sharing scotch  with Millie. Instead, he drummed his fingers on his desk and waited for  her to appear. To think, by doing the proper thing for a friend, he was  suffering instead of being lauded.

The door swung open moments later, and Millie stepped in his office. She  wore black slacks and a red silk blouse, and unless his eyesight had  gone the way of his ruthlessness, he thought he saw a new flush to her  cheeks, a brightness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry to disturb you at work, Joseph," she said once he'd invited  her to take the seat opposite his desk. "I called the house, and Elise  said you were here."                       
       
           



       

He suppressed a wince and hoped his wife assumed Millie had called him  instead of showing up. He plastered on a polite smile. "I was just about  to leave, so your timing is perfect. What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to thank you for your support over the past few weeks. I  blamed myself for Gilbert's affair, you see-at least, at first I did.  But knowing that you were taking care of my financial and legal  interests, I've been able to focus on myself lately. I've done a lot of  thinking and soul searching, which enabled me to let my guilt go."