She stepped out of the kitchen. “You worked my shifts, didn’t you?”
He’d hoped she wouldn’t figure that out. “I can take an order and handle front of house.”
“After you prepped the full menu and in between checking up on everyone,” she surmised.
He shrugged. It was what needed to be done. “It’s fine. You’ll be back Saturday night and everything will continue on. Well, until you turn in your notice.”
“Sit down, please, Sir. Let me get you a beer.”
How nice would that be? Unfortunately, he had to drive and as tired as he was, he didn’t want to chance falling asleep at the wheel. “I should go.”
A single brow rose above one blue eye. “Or you could stay here and let me take care of you for once.”
“Deena, I’ll fall asleep on your couch.”
She moved in, stepping close to him and smoothing down his shirt with the palms of her hands. “Then go lay down in the bed.”
Was she serious? “I’ll fall asleep. I’ve been up and on my feet for hours.”
“Because you were doing your job and mine.” Her arms wrapped around him, her head finding his chest. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“Because I care about you.”
Her arms squeezed him. “That scares me, but I care about you, too. I missed seeing you the past two days. I missed you more than I thought I would. I’ve gotten used to being around you.”
He let himself relax a fraction, sliding his arms around her body. Damn, but that felt good. “I missed you, too.”
It had been a ridiculously long week. He’d backed off and given her space. He didn’t want to make her choose between him and her schoolwork. He would lose that battle and he should. He simply couldn’t find a way to make her understand that he didn’t want her to choose. He wanted to help her attain her goals. So he’d tried to show her instead.
“I’m going to be so glad to kiss this professor good-bye,” she said with one last squeeze. “Can I make you a sandwich?”
He was staying. It was weird. He found himself watching her, trying to figure out what had happened. “Do you have anything to make a sandwich with?”
She was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top that didn’t hide the fact that her nipples were hard as little jewels. “Of course. I have some cheap ham. At least the package says it’s ham.”
“How about I take us out for breakfast in the morning instead. I’m beat. I don’t want to disrupt your studying.” He couldn’t help his yawn. It had been a long day. “You sure you don’t want me to go home?”
She stared at him for a moment, her mind obviously spinning. “I think you going home would be easy for me, but it’s not what I want. I’ve thought a lot the last couple of days. Really ever since the puppy play night. I’ve thought about what’s going to happen when we graduate from the training program.”
They were going to do this here and now? He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. “What do you think is going to happen?”
“I’ve gone through two scenarios,” she said thoughtfully. “One is that you shake my hand and wish me well and we see each other and play from time to time. We’re kind of friends. Maybe even good friends, but we have our own lives and only see each other at the club.”
Was she high? “I don’t know that’s the most likely scenario. I think the more likely scenario is you walk away and we don’t really talk and we’re not truly friends.”
“And then I would have to watch you with other subs and that would bug me, Eric.” She bit her bottom lip and her eyes slid away. “So I have to move on to scenario number two.”
He was still, like “don’t try to scare the deer who might finally try to eat out of his hand” still. “What’s that, baby?”
“You offer me a collar.”
“I already bought one,” he said quietly. If she was going to be honest with him, he wasn’t going to hide the truth. He’d bought it days ago. “Though it’s not actually a collar. It’s more like a necklace. Like what Sean gave Grace.”
Her face had flushed and she nodded. “Yes, I probably wouldn’t like a real collar for the daytime.” Her eyes closed and then opened again. “I don’t know what to say. I hadn’t thought that far yet. I only know that I reject scenario number one. Can I have some time to think about the collar?”
She was bending. It was all he could ask. Relief flooded through him. They still had so much to work out, but he had hope. “Of course. How about you promise me this—when we graduate we’ll continue playing together like we have. I won’t play with anyone except you. We’ll find a couple of apartments in Fort Worth and we’ll see where this goes.”
Her smile made his heart pound. “Yes. That would be great.”
He took two steps and was in front of her, leaning over and brushing a kiss on her lips. “For now, don’t worry about anything other than tomorrow’s test. I’ll take care of the rest. As for the future, we’ll take it one day at a time.”
She went up on her toes and kissed him again. “Thank you, Eric.”
“But I would appreciate it if you would look at my business plan once you’re done with school,” he insisted. He wanted her feedback. He didn’t want to screw this thing up. “And I would love it if you would come with me when I sign the paperwork. Lawyers give me the hives and I haven’t even met this one. Mitchell Bradford won’t work both sides. Apparently he developed morals or something. It’s all agreed on, but I’m still nervous. At the end of the day, I’m just an old SEAL who learned how to cook. I don’t understand the rest of it.”
She pulled away. “Eric, I don’t know about that. I think it might be best if we kept that part of our lives separate.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the work part. When I said we could see each other, I was talking about in the club. You can pick me up and we can have dinner or something, but I don’t know that I want to be involved in your business.”
That was about as plainly as she could put it. He knew why she was saying it, but it still felt like a kick in the nuts. “We’re going to be living in a new city and working demanding jobs. You don’t want to even talk about our work? I’m going to be starting up a business, Deena. It’s going to take most of my time. I suppose when I said we would see each other, I kind of saw you coming in and having dinner and hanging out.”
“Hanging out? Or doing your books and making sure you get free business advice?”
He put a hand up. “I wasn’t thinking of it that way. I don’t know, maybe I was. Not the free part. Of course, I can pay you for the initial consult. I guess when I really think about starting up, I saw you with me. When I think of building this restaurant, I see us working together.”
“That’s not going to happen. I have a job, Eric. It’s a good job.”
He knew that. He knew it was a long shot. “Like I said, if you’ll take a look at the plan, I’ll pay you. I won’t ask you to do anything beyond that. If you only want to see me at the club, then that’s how it will be. I think I am going to head home.”
She caught him before he reached the door. “Please stay. I’m sorry. I was harsh and we’re both tired. Can we talk about this in the morning?”
Would anything change? Did any of it matter if this kept coming between them? “I’m trying not to push you, Deena, but knowing that you think I would use you that way doesn’t bode well for the two of us. Maybe you’re right and we should keep everything separate.”
“Or we can sleep on it and talk about it again tomorrow,” she said quietly. “When you’re supposed to take me to breakfast so I don’t have to eat stale cereal again. Please, Eric. I’m sorry. I meant what I said the first time. I need a little time, but I know now that I don’t need to spend that time away from you.”
“Even the time you spend with me…is all you want D/s?” He knew he was pushing her and he’d said he wouldn’t, but he needed to know the answer to that particular question. He could be patient, but if all she ever wanted was a relationship that occurred in a club and with quick couplings, he would have to rethink. The idea that she didn’t really want him shook him to his core.
“I don’t know.” There were tears in her eyes and that was what forced his hand.
He leaned over with a long sigh and kissed her forehead. “All right. We’ll talk more in the morning. What side of the bed do you want?”
He couldn’t leave her crying. Not even to save his own pride. And who knew? Maybe things would look better in the morning. Or maybe they would be very clear and it would be easier to have a frank discussion about breaking it all off. The one thing he knew? They weren’t fixing shit tonight.
“I tend to sleep on the right. I think I might snore.”
He chuckled because she made it sound like the worst thing a person could do. “I can handle it.”