His eyes came up, holding her.
“No, Sir. She did not.”
Taggart sat back. He was wearing a dark T-shirt, his hair a tad longer than a military cut, but it was easy to see the soldier in the way he held himself. “Did she give you a reason?”
“Not really. She yelled at your brother, opened the box, and then I don’t think she liked what she saw. She kind of ran out of the room. But she did manage to yell at your brother again. I told Grace that I could get Erin something else. I can go back to Top and be back here in about thirty minutes.”
Taggart’s eyes closed and he seemed to be thinking for a moment. “No. She doesn’t want anything. Don’t worry about it. Let’s say it was a bit of an experiment and I have the intel I need.” His eyes came open, staring at the box. “What did Sean send? Did my wife change my order? Because she sometimes does that. She’s got it in her head that I should eat salads. Do I look like a bunny rabbit to you?”
Nope. He looked like a big old lion who could tear through a gazelle in a heartbeat, and she unfortunately knew what was in his lunch. “No, Sir. Like I said, I can just run back to Top.”
“Damn it.” Taggart slapped his desk. “That woman is going to drive me insane.” He picked up his phone. “Grace? I want you to clear Charlie’s schedule for this afternoon because she’s getting the spanking of a lifetime.” There was a pause. “Some kind of damn salad. And make sure daycare knows we’ll be late.” He slammed the phone down. “At least tell me it’s got some meat on it and not fish.”
She rushed forward, happy to give the man some good news. “Jerk chicken.”
Taggart threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, she’s getting another fifty for that. Thank you.”
She set the box on his desk. “I was hoping to speak with you, Sir.”
“Then all of your hopes have come true since we are indeed speaking.” Taggart went back to looking at his computer.
She couldn’t see the computer screen but he had a bunch of maps on his desk. It looked like the Caribbean and several islands. They were marked up in a new grid pattern, as though he was searching for something.
She hoped he’d found it because she’d already disappointed him once with the salad. “I’m a new trainee at Sanctum.”
“Congratulations. I’m sure you’ll be very happy there getting your ass smacked by various and sundry Doms. Have fun.”
He was a frustrating man.
“I needed to talk to you about that.”
“You should talk to your Dom. I assume you have a training Dom. Alex is usually very thorough about not letting the subs roam free range for the first six weeks.”
“My training Dom is the problem.”
Now she had his attention. Those deep blue eyes were focused on her, his jaw a harsh line. “He’s done something he shouldn’t? That was quick. It usually takes the assholes a few days to show their true colors. You were paired with Eric Vail. I didn’t see that coming. I would have told you he would make an excellent Dom. Sean is going to be upset. I’ll need to know exactly what he’s done.”
She shook her head and took the seat in front of him. She didn’t want to get Eric in trouble with Chef. “No. It’s nothing bad. Eric is a great guy. I mean he did spank me, but I agreed to it.”
Ian’s brow cocked. “You were first day spanking girl?”
Damn, she already had a nickname. “I’m afraid so. Master Alex pretty much demanded it.”
“If you pissed off Alex on the first day, you likely deserved whatever Master Eric gave you,” Taggart stated flatly. “So what is the problem? Did you disapprove of his spanking method? Are you a connoisseur? What exactly do we call those? Spankpert? Do you have a checklist of how you need to be disciplined when you get out of line? Perhaps Master Eric needs one of those. Put some glitter on it so he can’t miss the salient points.”
Wow, those words were icy cold coming out of his mouth. When that man got pissy he could practically frost over a room. “I didn’t have a problem with the spanking. It was fine. I had been rude and I agreed to all the parameters of discipline at Sanctum. The problem is Eric himself. I don’t think we can work together.”
Taggart went still as he watched her. “Do you have a degree in psychology? Because the man who paired you up with Master Eric does. Several of them, in fact. Are you telling me Master Kai has made a mistake and you know of a better partner for you? Because I believe you plainly stated that you had no preference and would be eager to work with any of the Doms.”
That was because she’d never dreamed Eric would be there. “Master Kai is brilliant, I’m sure, but I would be more comfortable with someone else.”
Taggart sighed. “Good. I’m glad you felt like you could express that feeling, and I think you should look forward to lots of spankings in your future. You can go now.”
She stood up. That had been easier than she thought. “Okay. So, I’ll meet the new training Dom tonight?”
Taggart was back to looking at his maps while he unpacked his lunch. He grimaced at the salad, but picked up the fork anyway. “Not at all. You can accept the Dom who was given to you or you can leave the program. Welcome to Sanctum and all that.”
What had the man misunderstood? “But I can’t be with him. I can’t. I have to work with him so I can’t have a relationship like that with him. He’s kind of my superior. I think that would be inappropriate.”
“It sounds perfectly appropriate to me. He bosses you around at work. Now he bosses you around in the club. You should be used to it.”
She could feel the beginnings of tears because he wasn’t listening to her. “I don’t think it’s going to work.”
“Then the door is right there. Feel free to walk out it.”
She stood. This was useless. There was no moving him. It looked like she was going to have to leave the program. She turned to walk out.
“I hate crying females. I guess I hate crying anyones. Except for Adam. It’s fun when Adam cries. And the twins. I can’t ever hate them. Stop and tell me why you don’t want Eric as your Dom. You’ve got exactly one minute to tell me the truth and if you don’t, I’ll let you walk out and you won’t be welcome back. Don’t bullshit me about him being your boss.”
Her stomach was in knots. “I don’t want to care about him.”
“All right. I believe that. Is it only him or any male you don’t want to care about?”
A very good question. “Any, I suppose. I was married and I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to do any of that again.”
“Then maybe a club where people do kinky sex things is not for you,” Taggart said. “Might I suggest a nunnery? I think there are a few of those left.”
She nearly groaned her frustration. “I want to have sex. Sex isn’t the problem. Well, it was one of the problems with my marriage, and that’s why I want to explore it. I don’t want to have a relationship.”
He nodded as though he finally understood. “All right. I’m sure someone can find the number of a male escort service for you.”
“That’s not what I want at all.” How did anyone deal with this obnoxious man?
“Let me see if I can figure this out, Deena. You want sex without emotion. I don’t know that you’ll find what you’re looking for with Sanctum’s brand of D/s. Certainly not since all the asshole Doms went and found the feels and shit. Li was your best shot and he’s all about his wife now. Communication is important and that means getting to know a person. Contrary to popular belief, you won’t find hundreds of unattached Doms willing to service your sexual needs. There are maybe ten Doms without subs. What happens when you run through them?”
She stared right back at him now because she wasn’t going to take that. Not from anyone. “I thought you were different. I thought I wouldn’t get slut shamed at a place like Sanctum.”
A long sigh came from Taggart and he sat back. “I wasn’t shaming you. I don’t care how much uninvolved sex you have. It likely won’t touch what I did when I thought my wife was dead. I was only pointing out a few problems with your plan. My point is that you will get to know all of these men. You’ll get friendly with them and you will develop feelings for them because you’re human and that’s what we do even when we don’t want to. If you weren’t capable of caring, Kai would have disapproved your application. Me? Now I think every club needs a cold-ass bitch, but every time I bring one in, my wife kicks her ass. If you’re looking for a quick, anonymous hookup, you should go to a bar because the men I bring into Sanctum will try to take care of you, and that seems like something you don’t want.”
“You’re twisting my words.” She didn’t like the way it sounded when Taggart said it. She thought of it as fun and carefree, but he was right that she was afraid of the emotional aspect of sex. It was all so confusing.
“Am I? Or do you simply not know what you want? Look, I’ve read your file. You went through a shitty divorce and you’ve decided no one is ever going to do you wrong again. You won’t accept a relationship where you could get hurt. But I’m asking you if you intend to go through the rest of your life without ever trying. And what’s next? Because I’ve found that when you cut yourself off from one form of relationship, you get harder on the others. So when a friend fails you next, will you cut all of them off? Because if those are your intentions, skip the Sanctum membership and start collecting cats.”