I lift one hand to push his hair back off his forehead so I can see his eyes clearly. They’re a dusty blue, more cloudy than usual, and I can see his hesitation and his worry in them.
With an exaggerated huff, I lick my lips. “I’ll be with you,” I say and press my lips together.
It takes a moment for him to understand. His brows pull together and then his face lights up. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
I’ve never been more certain. I have no idea what will happen in the days or weeks ahead of us. I have no idea what will happen with Thad.
I only know I want to figure it out.
For the first time in my life, I’m truly going after what I want, and grabbing on with both hands.
Both of my hands slide against his cheeks. I can feel his stubble that I know will soon be shaved. Wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck, I pull him toward me, and just before I lean forward so I can brush my lips against his, I whisper, “Yes. I’ll be with you.”
His lips press against mine. He steals my breath in an instant as he claims me; his hands move quickly, pushing down the sheets between us.
Then he rolls on top of me, and he spends the next hour showing me how happy I have just made him.
While sitting across the table from him, my nerves begin vibrating with restlessness.
After making love to Grayson this morning in bed, where he insisted we celebrate us being together, and then making sure we’re compatible sexually by doing it again in the shower, I have been too sated to think about much of anything while we eat a plate full of sausage and eggs.
“I can feel you thinking from here,” Grayson says.
I glance up at him through my lashes and feel my cheeks flush with heat.
He looks so calm. So relaxed.
I’m turning into a nervous wreck.
“We never really talked about what your lawyer said yesterday.”
His lips curl for a brief moment before he exhales. He shrugs and frowns. “He thinks the Matsens were getting too emotionally invested in our story and their lawyer cut it short so they don’t do something stupid.”
“Like?”
His lips twist into a wry grin. “Like letting me see Thad.”
Thad. I’ve heard the name spoken out loud in the last three weeks more than I have in the last six years. It rolls off Grayson’s lips so easily, like he’s always said it. It unsettles me. Terrifies me. For so long, the only way I’ve continued living knowing what I hid and what I chose was to have a distance between me and the Matsens. The once-a-year letters are difficult enough.
Seeing them yesterday almost broke me in two.
There’s no telling what will happen if I ever do get the chance to see him face to face.
“What does he think will happen?” My hands begin playing with the torn, frayed threads on a pair of my pajama shorts.
“Keith says they’ll most likely either stonewall everything, refusing to let me see him, or they’ll do it. He seems pretty hopeful that they want this done so they can put it behind them. I think their lawyer just doesn’t want them to make decisions too fast out of fear of waiting.”
A lump forms in my throat. He has to prove himself because of me and my lies. The thought rises like bile in my throat.
Sorry is on the tip of my tongue, but I’ve apologized enough, and Grayson has told me he doesn’t want to hear any more.
“Hey.” He reaches over and sets his hand on my thigh. When he squeezes, I feel the tightness in my chest relax. “We’ll figure the rest of this out together, okay? And I’m willing to be patient.”
Together. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and now it’s here, a reality. I don’t know whether to throw my hands in the air and scream with joy, or pinch myself to ensure I’m not dreaming.
Placing my hand on top of his, I entwine our fingers together and hold him tightly. “I like the sound of that.” I turn to him and smile, showing him how much I mean it. “But you’re far from patient.”
He throws his head back and laughs. It’s the most beautiful and handsome sound in the world, and my smile matches his when he finally stops. “I think in this case, the waiting will be worth it.”
He breathes heavily and the smile disappears. I try not to let it bother me, but it does.
There’s so much to go through, so much to still fight for, and so many unknowns in the path ahead of us.
It’s difficult to believe we’ll be able to get through it all and stay together when running has always been easier.
But this time, I’m determined to fight for it—to do whatever I need to do to make sure I never lose this moment, this man, ever again.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
He drops his head to mine, our foreheads resting together. “So am I, Kennedy.” His hand tightens on my neck. “So am I.”
Emotions bubble deep in my throat because I know what he means. We were friends for years, with each other through every horrible experience we could imagine. We always had each other’s backs, and now, we have each other.
Letting my vulnerability in the moment show through, I look up at him through half-lidded eyes only to see the same emotions on his face that I now understand. “I missed you.”
His lean frame shudders with my quiet confession and he tips his head until his lips are on mine.
We don’t speak.
There’s no need to.
But as he carries me to my room, lays me down on top of my thick, messed comforter so reverently, as if he thinks I might break, I let our actions do the talking.
I had forgotten the thrill of starting a new job. With my pulse racing, the eyeliner pen held gingerly in my fingertips trembles slightly. It’s been one week since I received the phone call from Janet with Human Resources at McMillan Holdings notifying me that I got the job I’d applied and interviewed for. I couldn’t believe that she’d called me the very next day after my interview and offered it to me.
For the last week, unless Grayson has been at the gym training, we’ve been together.
It’s not just as good as old times—it’s better. We’re better.
Stronger.
Perhaps that’s what happens once you drop all your walls and truly let someone in: they see you with all your faults and cracks and realize that even imperfect, you’re still perfect for them.
“You’re gorgeous,” Grayson says, his reflection appearing in the mirror behind me.
Shaking my head, I try to focus on my nerves…and keeping from jabbing myself in the eyeball. “You need contacts.”
He simply smiles, crosses his arms over his chest, and rests his shoulder against the doorframe. I freeze as I watch his gaze trail down my body, taking in my entire appearance.
I’m covered only in one towel wrapped around my body, my still damp hair hanging down my back in loose tangles.
I’m also running late.
Grayson’s blatant perusal of my body, his eyes darkening as his gaze sweeps back up my body, makes my skin heat and cheeks flush.
“Stop it,” I mutter distractedly, watching my lips pull to the side.
“You excited?”
“About today?” I shrug. “More nervous, I think.”
My eyeliner done, I reach for mascara and freeze when Grayson comes up behind me, his hands caging me in when he rests them on the counter next to me. I flash my eyes to his in the mirror and scold him. “I’m running late.”
His lips quirk. “I want to make you later.”
To prove his point, he rolls his hips, pressing into me. I can feel the thickness of his erection slide between the crease in my backside. I swallow thickly, fighting the shivers that instantly tumble down my spine, increasing the heat already thrumming in my veins.
Laughing softly, I shake my head and push back against him. “Go take care of that yourself. I don’t have time this morning.”
Grayson drops his head, tilting so his lips press against the soft spot at the side of my neck. I close my eyes and release a breathless moan. He knows how to turn me on with just a simple, teasing touch.
“I can’t help it that I want you, all the time.”
“Later.” I roll my eyes playfully, trying to get out of his hold as I untwist the mascara cap. With one quick swipe against my lashes, I ignore the feel of his body aligned against my back and the pulsing of his erection I can feel through his boxer briefs and my towel.
My cheeks flush further with every moment between us as Grayson continues pressing light, teasing kisses to both sides of my neck, across my shoulders.
My mascara done, I twist, turning around so I can rest my backside against the counter and stare at him.
“How badly do you want me?” I ask, trailing a fingertip down the center of his chest, through the ridge that separates his abdominal muscles, until I hook it into the waistband of his boxer briefs.
He swallows slowly, looking down to watch what I plan on doing.
“I always want you.” His voice is gravelly, thick with need.
My lips roll, tug to one side as I slide my finger across his waistband, dipping down to tickle his skin beneath it.
“Show me.” I lift my hooded gaze to his.
He arches a brow in question. “Pardon?”
I nod toward his erection, thick and obvious, straining for freedom under his boxers. Sliding my finger to his hip, I begin tugging down his underwear, watching his abs flex and tighten as I become the teaser.