Patricia lets out another sob and I look away from her, but looking at Don isn’t easier. His own eyes are dripping tears onto the table between us.
“We wanted a mom who baked cookies and took us to school. A mom who remembered to put lunch money in our accounts, or maybe make it herself and slip in a cupcake. We wanted sleepovers with friends and family vacations. Kennedy and I wanted to eventually, someday, get married to people we loved and give all that to the kids we would have. We dreamed of happily-ever-afters.”
Only I had thought the entire time that Kennedy would be mine. I never knew she was thinking I was hers. That familiar feeling of guilt for walking away from her slithers down my spine and I close my mouth before I spew all my thoughts about Kennedy all over the table.
What I have to say to her needs to wait until we’re in private.
I stop when I can’t continue. Clearing my throat, I wait for someone to say something, but no one does.
They all stare at me—not like I’m a monster, but like I’m someone to be pitied. I fucking hate that feeling, but I squeeze my eyes closed until my own tears have evaporated.
When I open them, Patricia is wiping tears off her cheeks. Determination burns in her eyes. I’ve seen the same look from men in the ring, refusing to go down. “I want to read him bedtime stories every night and tuck him in. I want to send him to school with kisses on both cheeks until he’s old enough to be embarrassed by it, and then I want to do it because it embarrasses him. I want to hug him on bad days, and cry with him on worse ones. I want my heart to break in half the day he gets his driver’s license and I’m terrified he’ll wreck his dad’s car. I want to take photos of him on his first date and his first school dance and cry my eyes out when I see him get married someday. All those things you want for your son, Grayson, are the things that I do and want not because they’re special…but because they’re the bare minimum for any decent parent. I don’t want Thad to have the bare minimum—I want him to have everything.”
My lips part and a buzz hits my chest. It begins to burn so deeply inside me that I rub my hand across my chest to ease the pain this woman’s words spark inside of me.
In this very moment, with her earnest gaze locked on mine, my decision is made. I can’t look at Patricia and not believe every single heartfelt word she’s just spoken.
She not only means it, she’ll die proving it.
“I just want to see him. I want that chance,” I say and watch Patricia’s eyes flicker with fear. “I believe you,” I continue, insistence clear in my shaky voice. “I don’t doubt you for a moment, but you can’t fault me for wanting to see him, either.”
“We’re done here.” Everyone’s eyes snap to the lawyer sitting next to Patricia.
She’s been stone-cold serious the entire visit. I don’t even know how she can be so emotionless with all the tears dropping all over the place, but I find myself wanting to sneer at her.
With a chilling glance to me, she stands and turns toward Patricia and Donald. “We’ll discuss this at my office.”
Their heads jerk back and just like that, the entire mood changes in the room.
They stand, not looking at either Kennedy or me again while Donald nods his head in agreement.
I stand up, intent on pleading my case more, when my lawyer’s hand clamps down onto my forearm. “Don’t say a word,” he mutters quietly but harshly. “Don’t ruin this now.”
My nostrils flare and my breath quickens while Donald and Patricia say thank you to Mary. Then Donald is escorting both the lawyer and his wife out of the door, holding it open for both of them.
I want to claw my hands into my shirt, ripping it off until I feel like I can finally fucking breathe again.
Everything changed with my last request, but I don’t feel sorry about it.
Donald walks through the door, and at the last second he looks at me over his shoulder. With a quick nod of his head, he simply says, “We’ll be in touch, Mr. Legend, I promise.”
Then he’s gone, the door shutting behind him, and I want to rage and scream like the Neanderthal they’ve claimed I am.
“What the fuck was that?” I ask, seething.
“You going to be okay?” I ask Kennedy when I pull up to the curb outside her apartment building.
“Yup.”
Fucking one-word answers. After Keith Titon assured us that the Matsens’ abrupt departure was simply a way for their lawyer to prove that they were the ones in charge of this ball I’ve set in motion, he told me to get my ass back into the ring and keep training. Apparently the asshole lawyer has money on my upcoming fight.
He said he’d let me know something when he heard from the piranha lawyer who only stopped the meeting because she knew the Matsens were becoming too emotional.
Too invested.
Fuck that. I know I was getting to them, but it was all honesty and not the manipulative bullshit they assumed.
Kennedy hasn’t had anything to say about what happened.
She hasn’t said anything more than one word at a time since we left the lawyer’s office.
I know she’s mad at me. I saw the pain slash in her brown eyes as soon as I said we weren’t together.
But fuck…what the hell are we? There was no other way to describe us to the strangers who have the power to keep my kid away from me when I don’t know what’s going on myself.
Her hand wraps around the door handle, like she’s thinking of jumping out before I’ve put the car into park.
I reach out and grab her other wrist, preventing her escape. “Kennedy.”
She stares at the window, trying to ignore me.
Too bad I feel the way her pulse increases on her inner wrist, just beneath my fingertips.
“Look at me.”
Her lips roll together as she hesitantly turns to face me. I’m struck speechless. It’s not just her beauty that slays me every time I see her, it’s because she’s the best person I’ve ever met in my life.
“I should go.”
I shake my head. “Invite me up, Kennedy.”
Her lips part in surprise. I dip my chin, leaning forward, and inhale her delicious but muted scent. I have no idea what it even is. I just know that I want to bottle it so I can smell her even when she’s not around. I’m turning into a fucking psycho.
“Today was a really long day,” she says, her eyes darting back and forth between mine. I can see her trying to be strong even while her chin begins to shake. “I think maybe we should have some time, think about everything that happened.”
“You want to take that time, do it. But I want you to do it with me next to you. I didn’t mean it, Kennedy.”
Her shoulders tighten, and I know she knows what I mean, but I hate that she doesn’t ask. She turns her head and looks back at the apartment, her gaze lifting to the third floor where I know she lives. I can practically hear her thoughts.
A low chuckle bursts from her lips and I tug on her hand, regaining her attention.
“Don’t run from me. Not now. Invite me up so we can talk, so I can tell you what I really meant.”
She doesn’t speak, but her shoulders droop, releasing the tension.
I unbuckle my seatbelt and quickly get out of the car and walk around to her side. By the time I reach her, she’s already out of the car, standing with her back to it, nervously shifting her weight from one heel to another.
I can no longer help myself.
Walking up to her, I place my hands on her hips and tug her toward me until I can wrap my arms around the small of her back.
Leaning forward, I brush my lips against her ear. She shivers and I whisper, “I didn’t mean to hurt you when I said that we’re not together—”
“But we’re not.” Her voice trembles even as she says the truth.
“I know,” I whisper. “But I still want more than us being friends like we agreed on in Vegas. I want you.”
She shudders and drops her head to my chest. Her arms wrap around me and squeeze tight. “I’m so…there’s been so much going on…and I don’t blame you for being mad at me. But I’m scared you’ll walk away again, or push me away.”
“Never.” One of my hands slides up her back, and I cup it around the nape of her neck, sliding my fingers into her hair, and I tug. “I never want to be without you.”
Then I kiss her. I can’t stop myself. Between the feel of her and her scent and the way she just looks so fucking cute and scared at the same time, I need to prove to her I mean it. Her lips part instantly and I pull her against me, letting her feel the immediate arousal a simple kiss with her does to me.
She’s breathless when I force myself to pull away from her. “Invite me up, let’s eat some dinner…and talk.” I grin. I don’t want to talk. I want to fucking take her to bed and slide inside of her until she’s so wrapped up in me that I can’t tell where either of us begins or ends.
That’s what I dream about—have dreamed about for the last three weeks—being completely consumed by her and her feeling the same.
“Talk?” she asks, breathless.
I lean in and kiss her again, softly this time, and tease her. “Maybe we’ll save the talking for afterward. In bed. Naked.”
A garbled sound comes out of her mouth and I fucking love it. My dick hardens at the sound, pressing against the zipper of my pants.