“The only thing I don’t get is why now?” Julie asked, tapping a finger against her
lip. “Why was this article the one that finally had you getting the courage to go
after your guy?”
“Easy there, tiger,” Riley said, shooting a finger at Julie. “He’s not my guy.” Yet.
“Okay, still, why now? Why not put one of the more meaningless flings up for
study in your article and figure this thing out with Sam off the record.”
“Says the woman who publicly announced to the world that she was in love with
a boy.”
“You’re in love with Sam?” Emma asked.
Riley’s heart flipped.
“No! That’s not what I meant. It’s just … there isn’t any other guy I can write
about.”
“Oh boy, she’s got it bad,” Grace said, topping off their wineglasses.
Riley took a deep breath. “No, I mean there literally isn’t any other guy. At all. Not
now, not before …”
All three women froze.
“Explain,” Emma said slowly.
Riley swallowed. “Is the food here yet? Hasn’t it been a while?”
“It’s Saturday night. Be patient. Also, don’t change the subject. What do you mean
there aren’t any other guys. What about previous partners?”
Riley stared at her wine.
Here we go.
“There are previous partners,” Julie said slowly.
“Sure!” Riley said brightly. “Only, you know … not plural.”
That last part came out in a mutter, but she knew from the shocked expressions
on her friends’ faces that they’d heard her.
“You’ve only been with one guy?” Grace asked softly.
Riley’s head dipped forward until her chin rested on her chest. Guilty.
“Oh my God, Riley … Was it bad? Did he—”
“It wasn’t bad. I mean it was, but it wasn’t forced. It was just awkward and a little
painful, and totally unsexy.”
“When?”
“College.”
“You haven’t had sex since college?” Julie exploded.
Grace sent her a warning look. “Which is fine, isn’t it, girls?”
“Definitely,” Emma said.
“Sure,” Julie said. “It’s just wow. Who was he?”
Riley shrugged. “Dan Bacher. We’d been dating for several months and were sort
of serious, although it’s not like I was dropping hints on engagement rings or
anything. We broke up shortly after the incident.”
Julie put a hand over her mouth to cover a horrified laugh. “That’s what you call
it? The incident?”
Riley was given a brief reprieve by the doorbell, and the process of getting the
food containers situated and plates passed around gave her a chance to catch
her breath. And collect her thoughts.
But by the time they’d all resumed their spots around the coffee table, she was
ready to tell them all of it. The whole sad, awkward story.
“Jake’s not, like, hiding in the bedroom, is he?” she asked Grace. “I don’t think I
can quite handle a male audience for this.”
“Nope, he’s off at guys’ night. Whatever you want to tell us will end with the three
of us.”
“And all of the Stiletto readers,” Emma said, deadpan.
Riley slowly chewed her pasta before speaking. “So you’re probably wondering
why I never tried it again. After Dan, I mean.”
“A little,” Julie said, understating. “I mean it’s pretty common for the first time to
be awkward, and hurt a little and all that. I mean … haven’t all of us written an
article on that at some point?”
“It’s true,” Emma said. “My first was with a guy who was way older, and that
should have made it less awkward, but he was all saggy in all the wrong spots—
”
“Eew,” Grace said, cutting her off. “But yeah, mine was bad too. It was with
Greg—”
“That asshat,” Riley muttered, as she did whenever the name of Grace’s ex came
up.
“—and it was totally a fumbling, can’t-get-the-condom-wrapper-open, not-
enough-lubrication disaster.”
“Yeah, that’s about how my situation went,” Riley confirmed.
“You were amateurs. Give yourself a break.”
“I can give my twenty-year-old self a break,” Riley said. “But my twenty-eight-
year-old self? No excuse.”
“Well, you must have your reasons for waiting,” Grace said gently.
“Not any good reasons!” Riley said, her voice coming out in a screech. She took
a bite of pasta to calm herself.
“The real problem is why I slept with Dan in the first place. See, Christmas break