Junkie(45)

It would ruin everything, my entire family.

But if I loved another man… I could keep my friendship. I could keep my family.

For the first time all week, I felt like maybe there was some hope.

I needed to test this theory. I needed to see what it was like being around other men, to see if I could feel something for anyone other than my best friend.

I pulled out my phone and started searching.





Drew

Twice.

That’s how many times I saw Trent this week.

Once when I showed up to introduce him to Joey and once a few days ago when I stopped by to give him a car part I’d ordered for his Mustang.

He’d been on his way out, so I literally handed him the part, we exchanged a few stupid pleasantries like strangers, and then he left.

So basically, I’d seen him not at all.

His reaction to Joey wasn’t what I expected either. He was stunned at first, of course, about her being a girl. We all totally expected a dude.

I know. What a sexist thing to say.

But in my defense, there were hardly any female racecar drivers in the pro circuit and almost as few in the indie world. It just wasn’t common.

She could drive. She proved it that first day on the track and then countless other times this week when we’d go out driving.

She was basically hell on high heels.

Yep. She drove in heels.

She was something.

I was thinking about asking her out. I mean, why not? She was hot, drove like a badass, and had a smart mouth.

I liked her.

But something held me back. Every time I thought about seeing if she’d be interested in taking more than the cars for a ride, I didn’t.

She was kind of my co-worker.

It would be unprofessional to date a co-worker. Even in a world where there were no rules and she’d be going back to where she came from soon.

Maybe it wasn’t because she was a co-worker.

It was something else. Something that made me uncomfortable and kind of squirmy to think about.

How was I supposed to think about it anyway when all I could think about was driving and the lack of T’s presence?

We were definitely avoiding each other.

He started it. But I hadn’t tried very hard to find out why. I, too, was participating in the avoidance.

I missed him. Like someone ripped a gaping hole in my life, in my chest. The cold air whistled through it constantly, creating an odd, painful ache.

Deep down, I suspected why we were dancing around each other this way. Maybe I should just admit it to myself. Say the words inside my own head. Try them out.

I’m not ready.

“Earth to Drew,” Joey said, waving her hand in front of my face.

I snapped out of my head and back to reality. “Huh?”

She made a sound and set down her fork. “You wanna talk?”

I blinked and glanced around the busy restaurant as if I suspected someone might know what I’d been thinking. We’d stopped in here for a bite before we hit the streets. We’d been at the Chesapeake Speedway three nights this week already, so tonight I wanted to really take to the open road.

I was so anxious to open up the full power of my car the balls of my feet itched. I felt like I was filled to the brim with tension and anxiety, and the only way to get it out was going to be to drive so fast it all blew away.

“Sorry,” I mumbled and picked at a fry on my plate. “I was just thinking about something I wanted to try with my engine.” I lied.

She was eating a giant salad. No fries. ‘Course, even if she had ordered them, I wouldn’t be eating them off her plate. They wouldn’t taste as good.

“Look, I know we’ve only known each other a week, but it seems like something’s bothering you,” she said point blank.

“You’re direct.” I hedged. “I like that.”

“Yeah, well, I come by it honestly,” she muttered.

“What do you mean?”

She sighed like she was sentenced to some chore she didn’t want to do. “Ron Gamble is my father.”

I abandoned the fries I wasn’t even eating to gawk at her. “What the what?”

“Can we skip the whole oh my God thing?” She moaned. “We already did that when you saw I was a girl.”

I chuckled. “You get that reaction a lot, huh?”

“Are you kidding? Being a girl and Ron Gamble’s offspring is a double-edged sword.” She picked up her Coke and took a sip. I really appreciated that it wasn’t diet. And her salad had steak on it. Most girls drank diet or water and ate lettuce.

It was totally boring.

“I guess I can see how it might be an issue.”

She gave me a bored look. “The odds are stacked against me. I have to prove myself twice as much because I’m a female driver. Then when I do smoke all the meatheads on the track, it’s because Daddy bought me fancy car parts, got me fancy training, and paid my way into the pros.”